Raiders Of The Lost Heart by Kel

Disclaimer: Still don't own them or Room Raiders!

CHAPTER 2: THE THREE STOOGES

Pacey Witter hurried into his apartment building and
stopped at the rows of mailboxes that were neatly
placed into the wall. He used his key to open box #
6.

"Let's see," he thought to himself. "What excitement
has the mailman brought me today?"

He leafed through the stack with a sigh. The stack
contained bills, bills and more bills. He began making
his way to the stairs to start his trek up to his loft
apartment.

"You may already be a winner.." he read to himself.
"Oh really now Ed McMahon? Don't think you'll be
appearing on my doorstep any time soon!" he
chuckled to himself.

He started up the stairs and something caught his
eye. Here was something he could get into. It was
this month's Maxim with Michelle Branch on it. This
was worth reading! "Or rather gazing at lustfully!"
Pacey thought with a sly smile. She was definitely his
type: Tall, long brown hair, gorgeous smile, among
other things.

"Ah Michelle," he said to her picture. "I could make
you happy now. Just give me five minutes alone with
you."

He tore himself away from Michelle and Maxim and
continued up the stairs. He continued to look
through his mail. At the bottom of the stack were
two brown envelopes. One addressed to him and
the other was for Jack McPhee, his roommate.

'What could this be?' Pacey thought to himself.

Suddenly he noticed the name in the return address
on each of them: MTV.

"This must be from Room Raiders!" he exclaimed
and began sprinting up the stairs two at a time. He
reached apartment #6 and tried the knob. Of
Course it was unlocked. He was going to have to
have that talk with Jackers again about the dangers
of leaving the door unlocked in the big city. After all,
Bertha was all alone in there! They had her welfare
to think about! She is such a beautiful wide-screen
TV!

Pacey walked the apartment and was immediately
met by the sound of "feelin' This" by Blink 182
blaring from the stereo upstairs. 'So Jack is home."
Pacey thought to himself.

He looked around their apartment. He had to admit
he was still in awe of the place. He couldn't believe
that he could afford a place like this. Just a little over
a year ago he was working as a chef in Boston and
living on a boat (Ok, more like a yacht.) down at the
docks.

So, living on a yacht wasn't THAT bad. He loved
sailing and the water, but the yacht wasn't even his!
He had just worked on the yacht the summer before
and his boss had let him stay on the yacht until Pacey
was able to find a more permanent residence.

Pacey had really enjoyed being a chef, but let's face
it, it didn't exactly bring in beaucoup bucks, at least
not when you first start out. And Pacey didn't really
believe he was the next Emmeril!

Then one day he stumbled on that ad in the paper…

"Are you stuck in a job with no future? Do you feel
like your life has no direction? Are you tired of living
from paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by?
Well, Monday January 15th could be your lucky
day! The stockbrokerage firm of Keller, Bates and
Gray is looking for fresh young talent. If you are
hard working, intelligent, well spoken, and can think
quick on your feet then you are what we are looking
for!! We are willing to train and no previous
experience is required. Must be ready for any
challenge and willing to work long hours. Also, you
will have to take and pass the series 7 stockbroker
exam. If you are interested then come to…"

It was like the ad spoke to Pacey, but it seemed too
good to be true. He went to the interview anyway,
and to his surprise, he got the job. And he was good
at it! Apparently all those years of bullshitting his
way through the many sticky situations he always got
himself into had paid off. He passed his stockbroker
exam with flying colors and found himself no longer
financially challenged!

He was living in a place like this, which was
spacious, furnished with all the latest furniture and
electronic gadgets, and had a great view! And then
there was Bertha. His eyes fell on the beautiful piece
of electronic equipment. He could stare at her all
day…

Suddenly Pacey snapped back to reality - the
envelopes from Room Raiders!

"Jack!" he yelled. "Hey Jackers!" he yelled a little
more loudly. No response. Pacey was sure it was
because Blink 182 was still coming loudly from
upstairs.

"McPhee!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as he
stood at the bottom of the spiral staircase.

Finally, the volume of the music was lowered and
Jack appeared at the top of the stairs. "God Pacey,
you don't have to yell! I heard you!" Jack replied
slightly annoyed.

Well, I don't see how with that music blaring." Pacey
said with a smirk.

"Sorry Dad," Jack said sarcastically as he came
down the stairs.

"Just don't let it happen again or you're grounded
McPhee!" Pacey said in a mock stern voice.

"That's funny, Pacey. You grounding me! Ever since
you became all Donald Trump on me you're no fun
anymore! I never thought I would say this to you, of
all people, but you need to lighten up Witter!" Jack
said.

"Well Jackers, I think I may have a chance to do just
that," Pacey said with a grin.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked as he strolled into
the kitchen, grabbed an apple, and bit into it.

Pacey held up the two big brown envelopes for jack
to see.

"What? Are you going to start working for UPS?
Those brown shorts will make your legs look
great!" Jack quipped.

"Very funny Jack," Pacey replied. "These two
envelopes came from MTV, as in Music Television,
as in Room Raiders."

"Oh, I totally forgot about that. Did we get picked?"
Jack asked.

"I don't know. I haven't opened mine yet." Pacey
said.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Jacked exclaimed
and with that Jack grabbed his envelope, and he and
Pacey ripped into them. They were silent for a
minute as they both read. Then they looked at each
other and grinned.

"We're in!" Jack said as he gave Pacey a high five.

"Yeah, and it's a good thing too, because you really
need help getting a date, Jack." Pacey said
nonchalantly as he sat down on the couch.

"Me?" Jack asked putting his hand to his chest. "I'm
not the one who dated his teacher!"

"And you call that a problem with women McPhee?
I'll have you know I am revered as a God in several
small countries for sleeping with my hot English
teacher when I was a mere 15 years old," Pacey
bragged.

"Oh, forgive me, oh exalted one. I bow down to
you, God of Jailbaitia." Jack said mockingly, bowing
in front of Pacey.

"Oh McPhee, you are on a roll today!" Pacey
exclaimed as he threw a pillow at his best friend.

Pacey had known Jack since they were 15 when
Jack and his family had moved to Bayview, Mass.,
where Pacey had lived all of his life. Bayview was a
small coastal town about 30 minutes outside of
Boston. He and Jack had become friends when
Pacey started dating Jack's sister, Andie. They
stayed friends even after he and Andie broke up.

Jack was in Boston attending Boston Bay College.
He was majoring in Secondary Education and had a
scholarship to play football. They had been living
together for about a year now, and they always had
fun together. Jack was a good friend.

"Ok, since we've both established that we aren't
socially challenged with the ladies, tell me again why
we thought we needed to be on this show in the first
place?" Pacey asked Jack.

Suddenly Pacey and Jack looked at each other.
"Dawson," they exclaimed in unison. In their
excitement they had forgotten about their other best
friend, Dawson.

Dawson Leery was 20 years old like Jack and
Pacey. He and Pacey had grown up together. Pacey
was probably closer to Dawson than he was with his
own brother. Dawson was an aspiring filmmaker,
but had recently had to drop out of USC film school
after his Dad passed away suddenly. He was now
living back in Bayview with his mom and little sister.
He was helping his mom run the family restaurant.
That didn't mean he had given up his dream of
making movies though.

Dawson was always looking for "life experience" to
inspire his next film. When he saw the flyer for Room
Raiders, he was convinced that was where he would
find it. Dawson thought that he, Pacey, and Jack
should do it together. Dawson came up with an idea
to put a twist on Room Raiders. Usually the 3 guys
who were prospective dates on the show didn't
know each other, but Dawson thought it would be
way more interesting if 3 friends were having their
rooms searched and competing for a date. The 3
went to the casting call together and pitched the idea
to the director. Apparently, the liked it because here
they were with letters in their hands congratulating
them.

Pacey picked up the phone. "I'll call him," he said.

"Hey D," he said when Dawson picked up. "Did you
get a let-…" Dawson cut him off.

"Yes, isn't it great! They liked our idea! We're going
on Room Raiders!"

Pacey had to laugh to himself. Good old Dawson, so
full of enthusiasm.

"So, they went for the 3 friends competing idea?"
Pacey asked.

"Yes they did. I've already talked with the assistant
director." Dawson said happily.

'Of course he did.' Pacey thought to himself. Just
then he heard a baby cry.

"Sorry Pace. That's Lilly. I need to go. I'll call you
later, man. And thanks again to you and Jack for
doing this with me. You won't regret it!"

"Anytime D. Give Lilly a kiss from me!" Pacey
replied.

"Later," Dawson said and with that they hung up.

Pacey was just about to turn to Jack and tell him
what Dawson had said when Jen Lindley burst
through the apartment door. Jen was the 4th person
in their group of friends from Bayview. She also
attended Boston Bay College and lived in town with
her Grams. She also happened to be Dawson's ex,
though she was much closer to Jack these days. The
two swore they were just friends though.

"Hey you two!" Jen said happily. "How are my two
favorite men in Boston?"

"We're great Jen." Jack said happily standing up to
hug her.

"Yeah. Wanna know why we're so great?" Pacey
asked Jen.

"Why?" Jen asked.

"Because. You are looking at two contestants for the
show Room Raiders." Pacey answered proudly.

Jen rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "Oh
my God, I can't believe they picked you
knuckleheads! What were they thinking?" Jen
exclaimed. "And the poor girl that has to pick from
you 3. Some one should warn her she doesn't have
much of a choice." Jen cracked.

"Hey now!" Pacey warned. "Any girl would be lucky
to pick from 3 handsome, studly gentlemen like us!"

"Yeah. She gets to pick one of the Three
Musketeers." Jack said.

"More like the Three Stooges." Jen said with a
laugh.

"Oh, you're going to get it now Lindley!" Jack said
as he jumped on Jen and began tickling her. Jen
squealed with laughter.

"Those two…" Pacey said to himself, shaking his
head.

He left them alone in the living room and went
upstairs to his room. He loosened his tie and
unbuttoned his shirt. He then collapsed on to the
bed. Today had been a rough one!

His thoughts turned to Room Raiders and the girl
who was going to be searching through this very
room. He wondered who she was. It was going to
kill him because he wouldn't find out until that day.
He hoped she was hot!

Deep down Pacey also hoped for something more.
Dawson had been so down since his Dad died. He
really needed a good girl in his life, and God love
him, Dawson was clueless when it came to women!
It was a miracle he ever got Jen. Pacey really hoped
this girl was great and that she picked Dawson. He
and Jack really didn't have a problem with girls.
They would be fine. They were really doing this for
Dawson. Besides, it seemed like only a matter of
time before Jen and Jack stopped being so clueless
and got together.

And Pacey, he was just fine with life the way it was.
Nothing was missing. 'I mean, look at my car?' he
thought with a smile. He finally had the Viper he
always wanted. And Bertha, who needs love when
you've got her? Yep, Pacey was convinced the last
thing he needed in his life was love.

Or did he…

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. I also still don't own the
concept of Room Raiders.

CHAPTER 1: THE DOWNFALL OF JOEY POTTER

Nineteen-year-old Joey Potter stared down at the piece of
paper in her hand. "CONGRATULATIONS! You've been
selected to be a contestant on MTV's ROOM RAIDERS…"
"What have I gotten myself into?" she muttered to herself.

Suddenly Audrey burst into the room. "Oh my God, Joey!
You would not believe the day I had! First, I woke up totally
late for my 9:15 class. Then, I spilled coffee on my new
cashmere sweater. And, to top it all off, that dweeb who
wouldn't leave me alone at the party the other night somehow
got my cell number! He has been calling me all day, and the
voice mails he's leaving me are absolutely horrible! I swear if I
hear one more…" Audrey stopped her rant in mid sentence.
She noticed Joey was not listening to her at all. Instead, she
was just staring down at that piece of paper in her hand. The
bubbly blonde smiled to herself. "So Jo, I've decided to quit
school, change my name to Bambi Busty, and become a porn
star!"

"That's nice Audrey," Joey replied absently.

"Joey," Audrey exclaimed. "Earth to Joey!"

"Hmm," Joey said not looking up.

"You haven't been listening to a word I've said! What is on that
piece of paper you can't tear your eyes from anyway?" Audrey
asked.

Joey looked up at Audrey with a dazed look on her face. "I
got on the show," she said to her roommate.

"What?" Audrey asked. "What are you talking about?" She
was confused. Then it hit her. "Oh my God! You got picked to
be on Room Raiders! That is so great!" Audrey exclaimed as
she ran and jumped onto the bed that Joey was sitting on. She
threw her arms around the pretty brunette and hugged her.
Joey however, did not return the hug. She was still in shock.

"What's wrong Joey?" Audrey asked. "Why don't you seem
happy about this?"

"Because Audrey," Joey began, her voice rising, "I never really
thought I'd get on the show! I just went to that stupid casting
call because you dared me to! Now that I got on the show I
can't do it!" Joey stood up from the bed; the letter still gripped
tightly in her hand, and began pacing back and forth. She
basically started freaking out. "This isn't something that Joey
Potter does! This is something that Audrey Lidell or Bambi
Busty does!"

"So you were listening!" Audrey broke in with a laugh.

Joey stopped pacing for a moment and smiled at Audrey. One
year ago when she first met her roommate on her first day at
Worthington, she had to admit she had been more than a little
worried. Audrey was her polar opposite. Blonde, curvy, and
very 'Act now, think later.' And she was from L.A. where as
Joey was from the little town of Capeside, Massachusetts. It
was not exactly the hub of all things Hollywood. Joey was the
reserved, levelheaded girl from the creek. Audrey was the
outgoing, party girl from the capital of weird. However, to
Joey's surprise, aside from being all of those things Audrey
was also funny, caring, and very loyal. Somehow she and Joey
had hit it off and become friends.

Audrey was actually the first best friend Joey ever had. Life
had never been easy for Joey growing up. She was not exactly
miss popular. She literally was the girl from the wrong side of
the tracks. Look it up in the dictionary and Joey was
convinced you'd see her picture there! Her mother died when
she was just 13 years old of breast cancer. While her mother
was dying her dad was out cheating and trafficking drugs. He
eventually landed in jail leaving her to be raised by her older
sister, Bessie. Bessie was great, but she was also a single
mother with an African American boyfriend. This only added
to Joey's difficulties. She vowed to get out of Capeside. Her
mission had left her little time to make friends, though. That is,
until she met Audrey. As difficult as she was, it was impossible
not to love her. She just didn't love Audrey at this moment!

"This is all your fault!" Joey shouted at Audrey. "Why did you
have to dare me to do it? You know I can't pass up a dare!
Now I have to go on national television and humiliate myself!"
Joey tucked her long brown hair behind her ears and began
pacing again.

Audrey rolled her eyes. "Joey, because this is not something
you would normally do is exactly the reason you should do it!"

"What do you mean?" Joey asked.

Audrey sighed. "Must I explain everything to you dear
Josephine? I thought you were the scholarly one of the two of
us?" Joey shot Audrey a look that threw daggers. Audrey
ignored her and continued. "The very reason I dared you to do
this Joey was to liven things up for you. You're twenty years
old, gorgeous, and in college, and all you ever do is study!
You should be out having fun! This is the perfect way to do it
and meet a hot guy too!"

"Audrey, I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is, thank
you very much! Besides, like I'm really going to meet a
worthwhile guy on a show like Room Raiders!" Joey shouted.

"You never know Jo. You just might find the love of your life,
or at least have a hot date. Really what's the worst that could
happen?" Audrey asked.

"Hello, did I not just mention humiliation on national TV a few
minutes ago. Not to mention, with my luck the three guys I
have to choose from will probably be brainless schmucks. I
mean who goes on these shows?" Joey asked.

"You do!" Audrey replied with a smile.

"Do not!" Joey quipped back. She walked over and threw
herself on her bed.

Joey looked up at Audrey and asked, "If you are so into this,
why don't you take my place?"

"No, no, no! I, unlike you, do not need to go on a dating
show. Audrey Lidell does not need help getting a hottie, and
my life is an abundance of fun," Audrey replied smugly.

"Like yourself much?" Joey cracked.

"Yes I do!" Audrey said laughingly. "Now we just need to get
you to like yourself!"

"And I have to go on some stupid dating show to do that?"
Joey asked.

"Yes," Audrey replied. "C'mon Jo, you have to do this! I
promise you it will be worth it! Please, pretty please," she
pouted. "Do this for me, your roommate and best friend who
loves you like a sister and would do anything to see you
happy!"

And with that Joey caved. "Oh, fine! All right, Audrey, I'll do
it. I think this is totally insane and this is probably going to be
the downfall of Joey Potter as we know her, but I'll do it," she
said reluctantly.

"That's my girl!" Audrey said putting her arm around Joey.
"Now let's get started on that downfall! What are you going to
wear? Ooh, we should change your hair. I would so love red
highlights on you! And your nails…." And with that Audrey
was off. Once she got started there was no stopping her.

"What have I gotten myself into!?" Joey muttered again putting
her head in her hands.

What indeed! Look out Room Raiders! Here comes little Joey
Potter from the creek! If only Audrey and Joey knew what
was waiting for Joey!