chapter 1- Joey's change- Joey's p.o.v.

"I can't believe that tomarrow I leave" I said a sad smile
on my face.

"Jo, this is amazing. I can't believe you got in and on
scholarship too" Bessie smiled at her little sister " I am so
proud of you and mom would be too."

"Bess, I haven't told Dawson yet" a shocked silence
followed my statement. It had all happened so fast, but I
knew that was just an excuse. At the end of ninth grade
my teacher had come to me and told me that two
scholarships had opened up for Stratford Acadamy and
that they were taking applications from local kids. My
teacher had put my name in for consideration. I had
always wondered if my name had been put in because of
my fathers death. The same teacher had once asked me
what I would do now that I didn't have a living parent.
Not that the teacher morned my fathers passing. He had
been caught in police crossfire during a drug deal gone
bad. If I was honest it didn't really matter why my
teacher had put my name in I was excited all the
same.Stratford academy was an exclusive boarding
school in Vermont. Most people considered it to be the
best prep school on the east coast. I had been nervous
at the thought of leaving capeside, but I knew it would
help me get into the college of my choice.

When last may the princeipal had called me into his office
to tell me I hadn't been chosen it had broken my heart.
He went on to tell me that I had been their third chose
and had been accepted to the school. I just had not got
one of the two scholarships. I knew right away without
the scholarship I wasn't going. It came as a shock when
in late November I was called back into the principals
office. The principal this time told me that one of the
scholarships had not worked out. the school now wanted
to offer the scholarship to me. I accepted on the spot.
He went on to tell me that I needed to be ready on
January 2cd to start the next semester there.

"Joey, why haven't you told Dawson?" The question broke
into my thoughts.

A sad smile played on my lips as I answered." Well Bess,
first off Dawson has been to busy with his dim-witted
girlfriend to bother with me lately. Secondly I don't want
him to talk me out of it. This is an amazing oppotunity for
me. Dawson tends to only see Dawson. I know when I tell
him all he will see is that his best friend is leaving him,
instead of seeing how great this is for me. Anyway I
wrote him a letter expaining it all, I will mail it tomarrow
as we leave. It is not like it is forever, I will be back in
June for summer break."

I dared peek up at Bessie then to see her reaction. She
was nodding, an understanding look in her eyes.

"So Jo, I have a confession to make also." A smile played
on Bessies' freatures.

"Oh yeah, whats that?"

"Well I was cleaning out the attic yesterdayand I came
upon a box.."

"Wow bess, a box , that's amazing!" Sarcasm running
deep in my voice.

"Jo" Bessie sighed,"Let me finish. The box was full of
money. It must have been Dad's hidden stash or
whatever."

I looked at Bessie a half smile on my face." A box of
money huh, yeah right Bessie."

"Jo I am being serious, I thought about giving it to the
police. Evidence and all but then decided we probably
needed it more than them. So anyway I was thinking we
could go shopping. Buy you some fancy clothes for your
new fancy school. Any name brand that you want."

"Really!" I couldn't keep the excitement from my voice. I
had been more that a little worried about what all of the
rich kids would think of me. I mean we wore uniforms to
class each day but I knewthe weekend activites let you
wear your own clothes. Besides the school counsler had
said I would need formal dresses for some of the weekend
activites. Up to this point in my life I had NEVER needed
one of those. I guess I just wanted to blend in and be like
the rest of the kids.

"Can we drive into boston and go to the mall?"

"yeah," said bessie" that is pretty much what I had in
mind. I also thought that we could drive to vermont but
leave the truck in town and take a cab out to your
school."

Relief washed over me. Bessie had just washed away my
two biggest fears. I had been so afraid to voice them to
her, but I didn't have to she knew. I loved her so much
right then.

Chapter 2-Joey's Arrival- Joey's P.O.V.

Fear clouded my eyes as we pulled up in front of
Stratford Academy. It was HUGE! Made of dark stone it
looked like a modern day castle. It was beautiful. It
looked so grand set against the snow-covered mountains.
I looked around slowly taking in the frozen lake and
stables. The fear then came crashing down again. There
was no way I will ever fit into this postcard perfect world.

"Bess," I barely whispered

Understanding flashed in her eyes. "Jo… no one knows
you here. You can be just like the rest of the kids here,
no one knows your past unless you chose to tell him or
her. This isn't Capeside you are not the topic of all the
gossip. These people will see you for the bright, kind,
beautiful girl that you are."

Hearing Bessie's words I knew that they were true. That
was a huge part of the reason I wanted to go to this
school. I didn't want to be a different person; I just
wanted to be me. Just me, Joey, without all the pretext.
I slowly nodded at Bessie tears starting to fill my eyes.
What would I do without her? My sister, my confidante,
my friend, I love her so much.

"Well, let's get this show on the road." I smiled my brave
smile and noticed the cab driver had finished unloading
my bags.

Just then a beautiful blonde lady I had come to know
over the last month came walking down the stairs. She
shook hands with Bessie saying, " Hello, I am Tamara
Jacobs, I am the scholarship counselor for the school. Hi
Joey." She winked at me.

I had met her in person once before when the principal
told me I had been given a scholarship. I had also talked
to her on the phone almost weekly since then getting
everything worked out for my arrival.

" Well your room is all ready. You have a wonderful
roommate Joey. Her name is Jennifer Lindley. She is one
of the top students in your class. Lets get you up to your
room and settled." Tamara grabbed my largest suitcase
and started up the staircase. Just then a boy appeared
out of nowhere.

"Here, Miss Jacobs, let me help you with that." He
touched her hand a little to long and looked her right in
the eyes as he spoke to her.

"Not now Pacey." She mumbled under her breath. She
then cast us, Bessie and I, a weary look.

As if noticing us for the first time the boy turned his smile
to me. My breath caught for a moment as I looked upon
his boyishly handsome face. His deep blue eyes seemed
to see right into my soul. A confidant smile then filled his
face as he stuck out his hand to me.

" Pacey Witter, nice to meet you."

I nervously smoothed my dress blush creeping into my
cheeks as I gave him my hand. "Jo… Joey Potter."

"So you need help with these bags?" a smile played in his
eyes. "Just between you and me, any excuse I can find
to go to the girl's dorm I take."

I barely heard Miss Jacobs gasp as Bessie's laughter filled
the room.

"Yeah, I would have guessed that about you, we would
love your help." Bessie smiled and was rewarded with a
wink from the boy. He then turned his attention back to
me.

"So what year are you?"

"Sophomore", I managed. Trying not to stare at him I
kept just stealing side ways glances. He was so cute.

"Oh yeah me too. Where are you from?"

" Capeside "

" Where?"

"Oh, it is in Massachusetts, near Cape Cod."

"Really, we are practically neighbors then. I am from
Boston. So I take it you are here on scholarship."

"Why would you say that?" feeling a little nervous that he
could tell.

"Well, Miss Jacobs is here. She is the school counselor
but she pays special attention to the scholarship kids.
She wouldn't meet a regular student at the door. Miss
Jacobs came to this school on scholarship also. That is
why she takes such good care of us."

"Us?"

" Yeah, us, I am on scholarship too. My dad is a cop.
There is no way we could afford this place."

With all the easy small talk questions gone we walked in
silence. I felt a tension in the air and wondered if it was
coming from me. Yet every time I stole a glance at Miss
Jacobs she was staring at Pacey with a look I couldn't
explain. She caught me looking at her once and blushed
slightly and looked away.

After what seemed like forever we reached my room.

Chapter 3-Pacey's P O V - Unexpected

As we walked in silence, the weight of the two suitcases
in my hands, I thought over the day's events. I had met
with Tamara that morning, as a scholarship student I had
to meet with her weekly. Mostly to review my grades and
attendance, to verify that I as living up to my end of the
scholarship. I had gone a little early this morning, I guess
you could say I have a little crush on Miss Jacobs.
Anyway, I had entered her office without knocking. There
she was in the middle of changing clothes, I don't know
how long I stood there and stared before she noticed me.
It was her words that broke my trance.

"Pacey, get out!" her voice shrilled at me.

But I stood my ground. I knew I should leave, but I
couldn't make my feet move. So I just stood there staring
at her, She came in my direction with a look in her eye
telling me she was going to help me leave. The moment
she touched me I knew this was my chance. I grabbed
her arm and pulled her to me. I kissed her. Softly at first,
then with more feeling. I kept waiting for her to push me
away, tell me to leave, but it didn't happen. She kissed
me back. I can still taste her in my mouth. I think partially
because she was in a state of half-dress things
progressed.

She had let me make love to her. The thought still blows
my mind. It had been amazing. Her body curved in all the
right places. She had guided me, shown me just where to
touch, where to kiss. I wonder if she knew it had been
my first time? I didn't have the chance to ask. Someone
had seen us. I don't know who. Why didn't we lock the
office door? I remember lying with her in my arms, feeling
her soft skin, breathing her in and then came that awful
noise. Someone had gasped and shut the door quickly. I
looked down at Tamara and she was white as a ghost. I
tried to talk to her, but all she would say was leave.

"Leave now Pacey!" she had yelled. " I don't want you
here. I don't want you to lose your scholarship."

I should have stayed, I should have tried to comfort her.
Instead I dressed as quickly as I could and I ran.

I went out to the lake and breathed in the cold air.
Slowly I took deep breaths, until my heart rate returned
to normal. The coolness of the air seemed to clear my
head and I knew I had to find her and somehow fix
things. How could my first time be so great and so awful
all at the same time?

I headed back to school. I took the shortest route to her
office cutting through the main parlor. As I entered the
parlor I saw her struggling with a bag on the stairs.
Without thinking I ran to her side to help her. I tried to
take the suitcase away, in doing so I touched her hand. I
felt a heat pulsing through my body and so I let my hand
linger. When I looked at her I was surprised to see anger
in her eyes.

"Not now Pacey" she had hissed at me and cast her eyes
sideways. It was then that I noticed them. A girl and a
woman stood watching us. I took them in, well mostly the
girl she was gorgeous! Lots of dark brown hair fell around
her shoulders, and then there was this face. It was so
beautiful. The best part though was her eyes. I am not
sure what color they are, hazel I guess. What I remember
is the way she looked at me, as if she were reading my
every thought. She appeared so soft at first, but the
more I looked there was a fire in those eyes mixed with a
look of sadness.

I hoped she hadn't noticed my hesitation as I took her in.
I flashed my most charming smile and introduced myself.

She fidgeted a little and when she said her name her
voice was softer than I expected. All thoughts of Miss
Jacobs were gone. How had that happened? I had
nothing but fantasized about her for months. Then I had
her, and now all I could see was this girl. I noticed she
had two suitcases in her hands so I quickly came up with
something about liking the girl's dorms and offered to
help. It was then I heard Miss Jacobs gasp and
remembered her. The woman with Joey laughed loudly.
What caught me off guard was the look Tamara was
giving me, anger and jealousy all rolled into one.

The laughing woman said something to me, I didn't hear
so I just winked in response and decided to make small
talk with Joey. I realized at that moment that I had taken
the two smaller suitcases from Joey and left Tamara to
struggle up the stairs with the biggest one.

As I walked down the dorm hallway with Joey, it dawned
on me who she would be rooming with. When we stopped
in front of the door I smiled.

"So you're Jen's new roommate." I said

"Uh… yeah, I guess so," she said back avoiding my eyes.

I knocked and then opened the door calling out, "Hey
Lindley I brought you a new roommate."

Jen's head popped out of the closet blonde hair bouncing.
"Jeez Pace, wait for me to say it is okay to come in! I
could have been naked!" I shot a quick glance at Tamara;
she glared at me in response.

"More fun for me," I smiled. "Maybe that was what I was
hoping for."

I heard the hiss coming from Tamara but I chose to
ignore it. " So anyway," I stole a look at Joey. "Lindley -
Potter, Potter- Lindley." The two girls eyed each other
nervously. Jen then stepped forward and threw her arms
around Joey and welcomed her to their room.

Bessie and Tamara excused themselves to talk in the hall,
leaving the two girls and I alone in their room.

Sensing the tension in the room I quipped, "Now these
are odds I like. Me alone with two beautiful girls." I looked
up and saw the shock in Joey's eyes.

"So Joey, there are lots of great guys here. Pacey just
isn't one of them." Jen said laughing.

A spark light in Joey's eyes as she watched us banter.
She smiled wickedly and said, "So they don't all use such
obvious line?"

I feigned shock as I said, "Lines? What Lines? I only speak
the truth! It's not my fault God sent down two of his
most gorgeous angels to be here with me now."

"UUGGHH," both girls cried out together.

"Okay that was bad cheesy Pace." Jen said with a smile.

Before I had a chance to respond the door opened,
Tamara and Bessie were done with their talk. I excused
myself and headed back to the boys dorm.

Chapter 4- The date- Joey's P.O.V.

"Good morning sunshine." Jen's happy voice filled my
dreams.

"Uggh… is it really time to get up?"

"Oh yes Miss Potter up and at 'um"

I chose instead to roll over and cover my head with my
blankets. That was the second night in a row I hadn't
slept. The night before I had been too nervous to sleep
and then last night Jen kept me up all night. I had
actually learned a lot about her. Oddly enough, she kind
of knows Dawson. Turns out her Grandma is scary Mrs.
Ryan who lives next door to him. Jen even goes to
Capeside for a week every summer.

"Jen, it's a Saturday. Why are we getting up at 8:00
a.m.?"

"Well miss sleepyhead, the cafeteria quits serving
breakfast at 9:30, and I want to showoff my new
roomie!" A smile danced in her eyes as I groaned again.
"Saturdays are the funest days at the Academy. Besides,
you and I still have a lot of getting-to-know-you to do!"

"Why are Saturdays so fun?"

"Well, we don't have classes to start with, but more
importantly it is dinner and dance day."

"Dinner and dance day?" I questioned, knowing right away
I didn't like the sound of that.

"Yup, don't sound so excited. It's part of the prep school
experience." Her laughter filled the room. "We start out
with a formal dinner, where we are taught proper
etiquette and that's followed by a dance. It's to prepare
us for all those great company and charity events we are
going to attend when our 'fabulous' education pays off."

Hearing the sarcasm in her voice I replied, "oh joy."

"Yeah, the dinner is pretty lame. They always serve really
pretentious food with way to many forks. After 9:00 p.m.
the dance gets really fun. You know, once they quit
playing Mozart and making us waltz."

"Waltz? Jen, I don't know how to waltz." I could feel the
blush warming my cheeks. I knew I wouldn't fit in here. I
started to wonder again if I was going to make it at this
school.

Jen just smiled saying, "Well, I guess we better go to the
afternoon dance class."

"Dance class?" I heard my voice growing wearier.

"Yeah, they offer it every week, but I can explain this to
you later. I'm starving."

Breakfast was pretty uneventful. Jen introduced me to a
couple of girls from the dorm. I also found out why we
got up so early. Jen had plans to meet her boyfriend,
Jack McPhee, for breakfast. Jack seemed like a great guy,
very sweet. They couldn't seem to keep their hands off
of each other. They were constantly finding some little
way to touch each other.

After breakfast Jack and Jen gave me the official tour.
The school was more beautiful than I thought. Huge
grounds extended over the hill that the school sat upon.
To the north of the Academy sat Stratford Intermediate
School and to the south sat Stratford elementary school.
There were huge equestrian fields with the most amazing
horses I had ever seen. The lake was good sized and
frozen solid. There were all ready a few ice skaters
floating along the lake.

"Do you want to go ice skating?" Jen asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not really dressed for it." I smiled at Jen
and looked down at my khaki pants and t-shirt. I hugged
my coat tighter around me.

"Oh my God, you must be freezing! Let's go back inside, I
will give you the inside tour.

"As we wandered around inside I felt like I was in a
fairytale. The school had a large ballroom, and the library
had more books than I had ever seen. Hardwood floors
ran throughout the school, and the ceilings were so high
our voices would often echo off the walls.

"Well, that's about all the big stuff," Jen said as we came
to a corner. "These are the administration offices."

Turning the corner she ran right into Pacey. "Hey Pace,"
Jack spoke up. "This is Jen's new roommate Joey. Joey
this is my roommate Pacey."

"Uh yeah, we met yesterday" Pacey mumbled. I couldn't
help but notice how rumpled he looked. He was avoiding
looking at any of us. "So, what are you guys doing here?"

"We were just giving Joey the grand tour. Pacey, I am
really glad we ran into you. I need to ask a favor, well,
actually Joey does.

"I do, Jen?" I asked suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah, you need a partner for dance class today.

"No, I don't. Can't I just dance with Jack?" I asked
starting to feel embarrassed.

"Oh trying to move in on my man huh?" Jen asked with a
twinkle in her eyes.

"NO! No I…."

"I'm a man now, huh Jen?" Jack asked with so much
excitement that I forgot what I was saying and burst out
laughing.

"Of course I will escort the lovely Miss Potter," Pacey said
still seeming distracted. "What time should we meet?"

"What?!?" Jens voice bounced off the walls. "Pacey, you
guys have to come to the door and pick us up."

"Yeah, Pace, I can't believe you would think otherwise.
Jen, I just want you to know that being the 'man' that I
am, I was planning on coming to the door." Jack beamed
an adoring smile at Jen.

"Thank you Jack! You know Joey, we should probably get
going. We have to be beautiful by 5:00, and it's already
past three."

"Okay. Uh Pacey, thank you for going with me." Then
leaning close enough so only he could hear I whispered,
"If something comes up or you change your mind, I will
totally understand. No hard feelings."

The next couple of hours flew by. Jen knew so much more
than I did about clothes and makeup. By the time she
was done with me I almost didn't recognize myself. She
had put me in a black dress of hers. The dress had thick
black straps, a dipping neckline, and remained fitted all
the way to the floor with a high slit on the right side. Jen
had also turned my hair into a mess of curls, which she
then piled on my head, although she did allow a few to
fall free.

The knock sounding on my door startled me out of my
trance. I threw a nervous glance at Jen who smiled at me
reassuringly in return. "Joey, you look amazing. Now,
answer the door and see what your date thinks."

"Jen, he is not my date. He is just being nice."

"Whatever. Just open the door!"

Opening the door Jack smiled and moved passed me to
Jen's side. Turning back my eyes fell on Pacey. My breath
caught a little. He looked so great. He was dressed in a
dark gray suit with a white shirt and a deep red tie.
Raising my eyes to his face I noticed his eyes were wide
as he stared at me.

"Wow! You look amazing," he stated, repeating Jen's
words from moments ago. Feeling the blush rise to my
face I quickly dropped my eyes and looked away.

"Thanks. Jen can work magic." I mumbled as a response.

Smiling at me Pacey than looked over my shoulder. "Jen
you look beautiful as always. Are we ready to go?"

Chapter 5 - The Dance - Pacey's P.O.V

"Hey Jack, you ready to go?" I asked as I finished tying
my tie. "If I know your girlfriend, and I think I do, we
better not be late.

"Yeah Pacey, I am ready. Hey, I kind of have a favor to
ask of you. Do you think you can find somewhere else to
crash tonight?" Jack took a deep breath and rushed on.
"It's Saturday night you know, and with school starting
Monday and all the time I didn't see her over Christmas
break, I thought Jen and I could spend some time alone
tonight."

"Just tonight huh?" I watched the blush creep up Jack's
face. "It's going to end up being every Saturday just like
last term. Sure, no problem, you two stay off of my bed,
okay?" My thoughts immediately turned to Tamara. I
wonder if she would let me crash at her place? We had
spent the greatest morning together. She challenged me
in ways no one had before. She not only asked me
questions that really made me think, but she also really
listened to my answers. The sex was amazing too,
although I didn't have anything to compare it to, I
doubted anyone could compare to her. She always made
me go slow, showing me just where to touch. The only
bad part was the sneaking around. I thought this morning
I was in the clear until I turned that last corner right into
Jen, Jack and Joey.

It actually turned out to be a good thing. I'm known for
never going to these dances, and Jen asking me to take
Joey gave me an excuse to make an appearance. I know
Tamara is chaperoning tonight, and for the first time I
really want to go. I can't wait to see her again.

All thought stopped as I ran into Jack. " Pacey, where are
you going? We're here." Jack signaled to the girls' dorm
room.

"Oh," I smiled. "Guess I got lost in my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, thoughts of who?"

"Just knock okay?"

Jack raised his hand, knocking softly. I heard a soft
rustling and watched as the door swung open. There
stood a gorgeous Joey Potter. Looking at her I felt an
unfamiliar flutter in my belly. I couldn't be nervous, could
I? She looked so different tonight; there was a glow
about her. She looked confident.

Noticing Jack and Jen were ready to go, I offered my arm
to Joey. "Shall we go?" I was rewarded with a lopsided
smile as she took my arm.

"So, you can dance, right?"

"Why Miss Potter, I am wounded. Of course I can dance."

"Pace, you do know that I would go with you even if you
couldn't dance. At this point you are my only option."

I could see by Joey's eyes that she was joking. I am glad
she is not taking this too seriously, I feel kind of guilty
going with her just to see Tamara.

The night went by quickly. Dance lessons turned out to
be a lot of fun, mostly because Joey and I were so bad
we spent the whole time laughing at each other. Dinner
was pretentious, as usual. They served us duck or quail
or some kind of bird that no one would cook at home.

By the time we got to the actual dance I had forgotten
that I was there just to see Tamara. Joey and I had had
so much fun together. Looking around the ballroom I saw
Tamara in a short red dress, she looked great. I also
noticed that she was eyeing Joey with a look I didn't
recognize on her face. Excusing myself I made my way
over to Tammy.

"Hey Tamara." I flashed her my most charming Witter
smile.

"Ms. Jacobs, Pacey, we're in public. I see you're here with
Joey?" I could hear the forced aloofness in her voice.

"Uh yeah, she needed a partner for dance class, and
since my roommate dates her roommate, I got chosen."

"Oh." A genuine smile crossed Tammy's face for the first
time that evening.

"Speaking of roommates, mine wants the room to himself
tonight. I was thinking maybe I could stay with you. I
could pay you back in anyway you wanted." I wiggled an
eyebrow suggestively at her.

"Pacey!" she hissed. "WE ARE IN PUBLIC!! And no, you
can't stay with me! What are you thinking? You may not
realize this, but I like my job. I plan on keeping it."

"Oh and having me at your house is so much more
dangerous than having me in your office?" That was all I
could come up with in reply. The force in her voice had
surprised me.

"Pacey" I heard the anger in her voice as her eyes bored
holes into mine.

Feeling a hand touch my arm I turned around to see Joey
looking at me. "Hey, you want to dance one more time?
I'm getting tired. I'll probably be heading back to my room
in a minute."

"Sure Jo, I would love to." Taking her hand I led Joey
back to the dance floor. Without turning to look back I
could feel Tamara's eyes following us.

"So, things looked tense with you and Ms. Jacobs. Is
everything okay with your scholarship?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, everything's fine." Joey still had a
questioning look in her eyes. Since I didn't have an
answer to give her I just looked away. In shifting my eyes
from Joey they landed on Tamara who was now glaring at
me. Why was she so mad at me? I should be mad at her.
She basically just left me homeless for the night.

"So, you're tired Potter? If you're leaving there is really no
reason for me to stay. Do you mind if I walk you back to
your room?"

"I would like that."

During the walk to her room we spent a lot of time
getting to know each other. We talked about likes and
dislikes, our homes and friends. Joey seemed to avoid the
subject of family, only saying that her parents had died
and she lived with her sister. I figured that explained the
sadness I saw in her eyes. My family's not my favorite
subject either, so I let her steer the conversation back to
friends.

As we arrived at her room I decided honesty and charm
would be my best chance at securing a place to stay for
the night. "So Jo, how do you feel about sharing your
room in a purely non-sexual way with a guy friend?" I
asked hoping she wouldn't get angry like Tamara had. Her
response was defiantly not what I had expected as her
laughter filled the corridor. I looked at her questioningly
as I waited for her laughter to stop.

"Witter, you know my friend Dawson I told you about?"

I nodded slowly in response.

"Well, we have been doing that for as long as I can
remember. Why do you ask?"

"Jo, the thing is I am kind of homeless tonight. See, Jack
wants to be alone with Jen. Now Jo, I want you to
consider that it just as easily could have been you who
was left out in the cold. In which case I would have
offered you a place to stay."

After a long pause she answered. "Is that your whole
defense Pace? I think you can do better than that. Come
on now, be more convincing. What do I get in return?"
Joey's lopsided smile played on her face, and just for a
second I thought of offering her my undying love.

"Okay Potter, how about this. I will be your dance partner
whenever you need one: classes, actual dances,
whatever."

"Do you actually think that's a bribe?" her voice half-
joking half-serious. "Do you not realize how many of my
toes you totally smashed tonight?"

"Okay Potter, name your price."

Joey seemed to take forever thinking about it. I started

to regret almost instantly giving her a choice. Her answer
surprised me, in a good way.

"Okay, I want two things. First off, I want you to be my
friend, a real friend not because you have to, because
you want to. I need a friend here. Someone I can trust
and confide in. I know it sounds stupid because I don't
really know you, but I think that person could be you.
Don't get me wrong, I love Jen, she's great. I grew up a
tomboy though, and all of my really close friends have
always been guys." Joey paused there; she seemed to be
waiting for my response.

"I would love to be your friend Joey." I said smiling and
waiting for her second demand.

"Okay, good. Number two was contingent on number one.
See, I grew up in a very small town, where not only do I
know everyone, I know everything about everyone. So
number two, I want to know all about you. It's the only
way I really know how to be a friend. Now, I know this
will take some time, but it is what I want. So, is it worth
a night's stay?"

I didn't have a problem with her terms; however, her last
sentence got me thinking. " I agree with everything your
said, except it may not be just one night's stay. See,
once you get to know Jen and Jack better, you'll realize
this happens basically every Saturday night. I will make
you a deal though. Every time I stay here you can ask me
one question of your choice and I'll always answer
honestly. It'll be part of the getting-to-know-everything-
about-me clause in our relationship. What do you think?"

Joey's smile lit up her face. "Okay, it's a deal. Now, just
let me think up my question for the night." We both
moved into her room and I laid down on one of the beds
to wait. Joey came and laid right next to me resting her
head on my chest. There was something about this girl.
Every time she touches me I feel sparks and yet at the
same time I feel so comfortable with her, like I've known
her forever.

"Well," she finally spoke. "Let's start out with something
easy, nothing to personal. What's your favorite activity
outside of school, and why?"

"Sailing!" I answered without hesitation. I didn't get very
far into my why part of the answer, when I looked down I
noticed that my new 'best friend' was sound asleep.
Brushing her hair out of her face I caught myself
wondering why was it that I felt so comfortable here,
with her, like this? I don't know how long I watched her,
or how long it took me to fall asleep, but I can honestly
say that I've never slept sounder.

Chapter 6 - Partners - Joey's P.O.V.

The sun filtering through my windows woke me. It seemed
so much brighter than usual. Rolling to my side I looked
up at my clock: 10:00 am. I can't believe I slept this late.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I felt them come into
focus. I realized I was still in Jen's black dress and the
pillow I was so comfortable on was actually Pacey's
chest.

I studied him for a moment; he looked so peaceful, like a
little boy with a small smile playing on his lips. I wonder
what he dreams of? Waking up on him explained my
dreams. No matter what I had dreamt, he had been
there. It was probably the smell of his cologne. Not
wanting to be caught examining him I rolled softly out of
bed, grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt I headed to
the shower.

Stepping back into my room after my shower I noticed my
bed was now empty. Looking around my eyes fell on a
note sitting on my desk:

Hey Jo,

Thanks for last night. I had lots of fun. Thank you for
the bed to crash in and, more importantly, the
friendship. I know you said you needed it, but the truth
is I need it too. When I was looking for some paper to
write this on I came across your class schedule, it looks
like we have every class together except 3rd period. If I
don't see you again today, I will see you on Monday.
Enjoy your last class free day. And thanks again.

Yours,

Pacey

P.S. Maybe we can make dance class a weekly thing. I
may be in need of a little improvement.

The note brought a smile to my face. It felt good that he
may need me just as I needed him. I had barely finished
reading it when Jen burst through the door.

"Hey Joey, sorry to leave you on your second night here!
I had some important business to attend to." A wicked
smile graced Jen's pretty face.

"That's okay Jen. I heard all about your Saturday night
rendezvous."

"What! Who told you? Was it Pacey? I can't believe him
spreading oh so true gossip like that. But anyway, I am
going to make it up to you. Today is roommate bonding
and fun day."

"Jack is okay going a whole day without you?"

"Yeah, it's no problem. I want us to be friends Joey, the
only way that is going to happen is if I ditch my man and
spend some quality time with you."

I know it sound girly and stupid, but I was really excited
to have Jen as a friend. It always bothered me that I
wasn't close to any girls back home. Dawson can be a
great friend, but there were defiantly things I couldn't
talk to him about. Jen and I spent the whole day together
talking. I found out that Jen had almost been sent to
Capeside to live. She had gone kind of wild in New York
and her parents were going to send her to live with her
grandma, but at the last minute they decided that she
might be too much for her 'grams' to handle. A friend of
her father's had pulled some strings and Jen had ended up
here. Here where Jen is excelling. She had met Jack her
first day here and they had been inseparable ever since.
Her grades were excellent and more importantly she is
really happy here. She didn't tell me details about her
past problems. I didn't ask. She respected the same
unwritten rule with me. We talked about what we wanted
to talk about and avoided the rest.

"Jen, I think I may like Pacey. Do you think that is weird,
I mean I just met the guy." I'd wanted to talk about it all
day. Finding a way to start the conversation had been
difficult. But when the words came out they were simple.

"Really? What is it that you like about him? Besides the
good looks and charm?

"Does there really have to be a 'besides that'?" I winked
at her. " I don't know. It's like there's this spark between
us. Do you know what I mean?"

"Of course! I feel that with Jack. I think it would be
great! You and Pacey, together I mean. The four of us
dating would be fun. Pacey is a tough one though. I've
watched girls flirt with him all year. He flirts back of
course, but he never lets it go any further. It is almost
like he's holding back for someone else. I got Jack to ask
him last term if he has a girl back home. He doesn't,
which just makes it all that much more confusing."

"Maybe he likes someone here and is just nervous to act
on it." I was baiting Jen to see if she knew anything.

"I thought of that too. I've watched him though. He
doesn't pay any special attention to anyone. Actually, my
old roommate, Hannah, was the person closest to him.
They were study partners. She was really homesick and
her grades suffered. Eventually she lost her scholarship
and got sent home. She seemed relived, even happy
about it."

"Well that explains how I got here. What do you mean by
study partners?"

"Well, Ms. Jacobs hates losing scholarship students, so
she set up a program where you are each assigned a
partner in your grade to work with. You'll have the same
study hall and as many classes together as possible.
Anyway, you really just help each other study. Any
problems you have with your schoolwork you go to your
study partner first. If they can't help you then you go to
the tutoring department."

"Oh, that sounds like a really good idea."

"It is unless you don't like your partner. You'll be spending
a lot of time with whoever your partner is."

"It will probably be Pacey, since he lost his partner and
he told me we have every class together except art."

"Sounds like Ms. Jacobs already has it set up. Oh, and
you wouldn't have art with Pacey. He's in drama with
me."

"That makes sense. He seems to enjoy entertaining
people." I said with a smile, remembering all the time I
had spent laughing with him last night.

Monday morning arrived and I was up and ready by 5:00
a.m. I could feel what would probably be described as
butterflies in my stomach, but damn if it didn't feel like a
flock of birds. Jen seemed to take forever to get going,
but soon she was ready to head down to breakfast. I had
just finished packing my backpack when the knock came
at the door.

"Hey Jo," Pacey smiled at me and my heart did a little flip
flop in response.

"Hey Witter, what are you doing here?"

"Well with that friendly beginning, I'm not sure." I
watched as he began to pout. I winked at him before I
reached up and hugged him. As I wrapped my arms
around him, I felt him go rigid for a second before he
relaxed and hugged me back. He gave great hugs. I
always hated hugging Dawson, he always rests his weight
against me and his arms just kind of hang around me.
Pacey's arms felt strong around me. It was almost like he
was lifting me softly of the floor without my feet ever
leaving the ground.

"Good morning Pace! It's so good to see you!" I gushed at
him. "So what are you doing here?" I let my voice return
to its normal weary tone.

"Well I figured we have every class together, I might as
well come and escort you. So you don't get lost and all"

"Oh is this a service project, an act of charity?"

Pacey smiled in response to my question. "Well that and
he," Pacey pointed around the side of the doorframe to
Jack, who I hadn't noticed before. "He is going through
some kind of withdrawal, going a whole day without Jen."

"Oh," I felt my heart drop, Jack had probably dragged
Pacey along. "Hey Jen, your boy-toy is here." I yelled into
our room, winking at Jack so he would know I was
kidding.

"So Potter, what do you say we leave them alone for a
minute." Pacey asked. Taking my hand, he pulled me
close and whispered, "Trust me, I've seen the reuniting
moment before."

Looking at the wicked glint in Pacey's eye, I quickly
grabbed my backpack and told Jen I would meet her in
the cafeteria, not that she was listening she looked
awfully busy. As we left my room I was surprised when
Pacey took my hand again. We walked all the way to the
main floor that way talking and laughing. As we entered
into the cafeteria I heard my name being called out.
Turning I saw Ms. Jacobs heading my way. I suddenly felt
Pacey drop my hand. I watched as he shoved his hands
in his pocket. Stranger still was the fact that his eyes,
which had been watching me so intently all morning,
suddenly glazed over and seemed to stare into space.

"Yes, Ms. Jacobs?"

"Oh Pacey, I'm glad you are here too. I have assigned
you two to be study partners. Pacey, during your study
hall today could you please explain the program to Ms.
Potter."

"Sure Ms. Jacobs, no problem."

"Great, thank you. Josephine I need you to come by my
office this afternoon also. As a scholarship student you'll
need to start having a weekly review with me. Today I
will just explain in more depth the school's expectations
of you." She nodded at me and walked away. I watched
as she left the room.

"So we're partners, huh?" smiling at Pacey.

"That we are Potter, that we are." I watched as the
warmth returned to Pacey's eyes. He then took my hand
back in his and led me to a table.

Chapter 7 - Time Alone - Joey's P.O.V.

A chill passed through my body causing me to shudder.
Feeling the warm spot next to me I snuggled further down
into it. In response I felt strong arms tighten around me.
Arms around me? What? Opening my eyes I let them drift
down Pacey's face. It was on of those moments that you
knew you had lived before.

Here I was again sleeping on Pacey's chest. This time I
had taken time the night before to change out of my
dress and into some P.J.'s. Last night after the dance we
had come back to my room just like the week before. I
had changed into some flannel shorts and a tank top.
Returning to my room I noticed Pacey had changed too,
or rather lost most of his clothing. He was lying on my
bed in just his boxers and wife-beater, oh and he still had
on his black dress socks.

"Come here Jo." He patted the bed next to him. I blushed
slightly as I moved to his side. He placed his arm across
my pillow so I could lay my head on his chest. "So what is
my question for the night?"

This time I didn't need time to think. "What do you want
to be when you grow up and why? And Pacey, I don't
want any stupid answer about male prostitution or owning
a strip club. I want the truth, honest and serious." I
looked at him until the glint in his eyes passed.

"I am thinking of becoming a doctor. I'll probably
specialize in pediatrics. I have always loved kids, and I
want a job where I can help people." He smiled softly at
me.

"Help people, huh? I think you're already good at that.
Look how many times you saved me this week." My first
week of school had gone by faster than I thought
possible. My classes were demanding and I spent the
majority of my time trying to catch up. The teachers
covered things at lightning speed compared to Capeside
High. Here you're expected to learn at the rate they're
teaching or catch up on your own time. Luckily for me, I
have Pacey. I just hope his grades don't suffer for all the
time he spent working with me this week.

"Potter, earth to Potter." His blue eyes twinkled at me
with a light that was uniquely his own.

"Yeah?"

"Have you been listening to me at all?"

"Yes! Yes, you said that you wanted to be a doctor, a
pediatrician."

"And after that?"

"Umm… I don't know, you may have lost me after that
with all your senseless babble."

"Excuse me, senseless babble? Oh, you are going to pay
for that!" I tried to jump up as quickly as I could, but he
was faster than me. Grabbing me around the waist he
rolled me underneath him and began to tickle me.

"Pace…stop it! I'm serious Pacey!" I shouted over and
over at him with the gulps of air I managed to catch.
Instead of stopping he grabbed my flailing arms and held
them both over my head with one of his hands. He than
proceeded to continue torturing me with his spare hand.
When did guys get so strong? In fourth grade I could
easily have beaten up anyone in my class, boy or girl.
Now here I am a few years later being held down with
one hand. It doesn't even look like it is taking any effort.
I could feel the tears filling my eyes from all the laughter.
As they began to fall Pacey took them to mean something
else.

"Jo, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" I could see the
concern in his eyes. Now the question is do I take
advantage of his concern? Or do I admit that the tears
are from laughing so hard? Turns out I did neither at that
moment. When I opened my eyes his face was hovering
over mine, so close I could feel his breath. He released
my hands and began to stroke my cheek, gently wiping
my tears away. His eyes locked on mine and then moved
slowly down to my mouth as he licked his own lips.
Wetting my own lips in response, I closed my eyes and
waited for the kiss. A second passed, then two. Instead
of feeling the touch of his lips I felt a chill as he removed
the warmth of his body from mine.

"Did I hurt you Jo?" His voice sounded huskier that I
remember.

"No Pacey. The tears were from laughing so hard." My
answer left in the form of a whisper. I finally opened my
eyes to see him laying next to me an intense look in his
eyes.

"Don't be uncomfortable okay, Potter. I didn't mean to
get so … so … physical with you." His eyes seemed to be
searching mine, for what I'm not sure.

"It's alright Pacey. You seem to forget that I grew up a
tomboy. I've pounded guys twice your size, Witter. I can
take care of myself. Trust me, if you had hurt me you
would know it." The tension seemed to leave his body and
the mischief returned to his eyes.

"So anyway, earlier, I asked what you wanted to do with
your life."

"Hmm good question Witter, did you come up with that
one all on your own?"

"Shut up Jo, no wait. Don't shut up. Just answer the
question."

"Well, I am actually torn on the subject Pacey. See, the
things that I love are art and literature. So career wise I
think I want to be an artist or a writer. Maybe a journalist
that travels all over the world covering major events.
Then I take time to look at my own life, do you know who
the most inspirational person in my life has been? It isn't
a journalist, or a famous painter or writer. It was my
mom. She was my everything. I know it isn't really
ambitious or politically correct or whatever, but more
than anything I want to be that to someone. I want to
have a family again. I want to be a full-time mom too, not
one whose kids spend more time with a babysitter than
with her. So see, the two goals have to fit together. My
career has to function in away that I can achieve both.
My mom was an artist. I think that is what makes me
want to do that. I loved posing for her paintings as a kid.
Or just sitting beside her and watching her capture our
world. Her paintings still hang all over our house. It is
almost like she left all of the things she considers
beautiful with me."

"You know we are totally opposite in this. My dad is a
cop; my brother is a cop too. Everyone expected me to
follow suit. That is a huge part of the reason I work so
hard at school, is so I don't have to be like them. I want
to be different, be my own person."

" Pace, maybe part of the difference is that you still have
him. I lost my mom so long ago. One of my biggest fears
is forgetting her. Doing things she loved makes me feel
close to her. Reading her favorite books, painting and I
imagine loving my child someday the same way she loved
me. It's like she is still with me. I'm a part of her and she
is a part of me, forever." I snuggled down into his chest
knowing I was done talking for the night. He seemed to
know it too as he said nothing. I felt him drawing small
circles on my back as I drifted off to sleep.

Letting my thoughts return to the present I noticed that
Pacey was now awake and watching me.

"Morning Jo."

"Hey Pacey, how did you sleep?"

"Really good actually. Do you know that I sleep better in
your bed than I do in my own? They probably give all of
the good mattresses to the girls."

"Or maybe my room is just lacking the stench that your
dorm room probably has."

"Josephine Potter, are you saying that I stink?" He faked
an offended look on his handsome face.

"You said it Pace, not me."

"Okay you are cold ice queen. And here I thought we had
bonded last night. I even had a surprise planned for
today."

"What, a surprise! What is it?"

"If I tell you it wouldn't be a surprise. Now would it?"

"Pacey, I hate surprises. I like to know everything right
now. I'm not exactly a patient person."

"Look Potter I will make you a deal. I'll go back to my
room, shower to remove this supposed odor from my body
and get dressed. You do the same here, and I'll meet you
in the main parlor in one hour. At that point I'll tell you
everything. I thought we could spend the day together.
Just the two of us having fun, no studying allowed."

"Like a date?" I asked the words escaping before I could
stop them. Pacey stopped dead in his tracks and turned
to look at me.

"More like two friends hanging out."

"Oh okay. What should I wear to our unknown location?" I
asked to change the subject.

"Warm clothes, jeans and sweater will work. Oh and don't
forget your coat, it is January you know."

"January, really? Your intellect astounds me sometimes
Pacey." I let the sarcasm drip of the words hoping to
ease the tension that still hung in the air from my earlier
assumption.

"Potter," he growled at me. "I'm trying to do something
nice here."

"Okay, okay Pacey, I'll see you in an hour." I stated,
disappearing into my bathroom. I am such a geek! How
could I have assumed it was a date? Him pulling away
from our almost kiss last night should've been clue enough
that he doesn't look at me that way. First Dawson now
Pacey, why am I constantly stuck in the friend category?
What is wrong with me?

Pacey's P.O.V.

I almost kissed her. I've never wanted anything so badly.
I spent all last night dreaming about what it would've
been like. What she would've tasted like. Would it have
gone any further than a kiss? It would have been great. I
know it would have. The chemistry between us was so
intense; I have never felt anything like it. I did the right
thing, pulling away. I know I did. I couldn't kiss her while
being involved with someone else. Joey deserves better
than that. When I kiss her…if…if I kiss her it'll be perfect.
There won't be anything standing in the way of me loving
her completely. That's what she deserves. I'm struggling,
as it is not giving myself to her. That kiss could've pushed
me over the edge. Made me face things I'm not ready for
yet.

"Who are you trying to convince, Witter?"

"What?" Jen asked. Looking up I hadn't realized I had
spoken out loud. Jen was standing in my dorm room door.

"Hey Lindly, taking off so soon?"

"I thought I'd go see if Joey wants to go into town and
grab some lunch with Jack and me. You can come too, if
you want."

"Uh actually, I already invited Joey to spend the day with
me."

"Doing what exactly?" Jen's eyes lit up.

"Well don't tell her, it's a surprise, but I am taking her
horseback riding up the trail. I'm getting us box lunches
from the cafeteria so we can stay and watch the
sunset."

"Oh a date huh? Sounds romantic."

"It's not a date! And it's not romantic just pretty, I
thought she would like to see it."

"I'll bet she thinks it's a date. Talk about your mixed
signals."

"No she doesn't Jen." I sighed in exasperation.

"How do you know she doesn't?" asked a very
suspiciously looking Jen.

" I told her it wasn't a date. Just two friends spending
time together."

"Why would you feel the need to vocalize that?" Jen's
eyes now narrowing on me.

"She asked." I answered sheepishly. Jen's look making me
feels guilty, for what I'm still not sure.

"Oh God, she must feel so stupid."

"Why would she feel stupid Jen?"

"Girls generally don't ask if it is a date unless they want it
to be a date Pacey! Guys are clueless. I'm going to check
on and see if she is alright." Even looking at the floor I
could feel Jen's heated glare. Hearing her walk away I
looked up to see Jack standing where Jen had been.

"So I guess you get some time alone with Jen, huh?" I
smiled at my roommate.

"So you're assuming Joey is still going with you even after
Jen gets through talking to her?"

"Of course she is going with me. She said she would."

"Pacey, I don't know if you know this about my girlfriend,
but generally speaking she hates men. Her opinion of us
as a species is very, very low. There are a select few of
us she allows to be a part of her life. Hell she even likes
some of us as individuals, now normally I would put you in
that category. The way she was looking at you when she
walked away though, well it would indicate that you had
slipped back into the general population. Trust me I've
received that look myself a few times. Jen can be pretty
persuasive when she wants to be. And if you haven't
noticed she has a very overprotective mother hen vibe to
her when it comes to Joey. She doesn't want to see her
get hurt, by anyone including you Pacey."

"Jack I would never hurt Joey."

"Intentionally."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Pacey, I would never hurt Jen either, but I do it all the
time. Half the time I don't even know what I have done.
Pacey, why don't you want this to be a 'date' with Joey?
I mean you want to spend time alone with her, in what
most people would consider a romantic setting."

"I… we're just friends that's all. I'm being very honest
with her Jack, specifically so she won't get hurt."

"Can I ask you a question Pacey?" The tone of his voice
made a knot appear in my stomach.

"Yeah Jack, go ahead."

"Are you gay? I mean it's okay if you are. It won't freak
me out or anything."

"GAY… me? Are you serious?" I watched as he nodded in
response. " I am NOT gay. I love women. Why would you
even ask that?"

"Well we could start with your less than stellar dating
history. Which is totally your own doing. I know there are
girls who would go out with you. The fact that we have
been here over six months and I've yet to see you try
anything with a girl. Or we could just focus on the fact
that Joey is gorgeous and totally into you, and is actually
the first girl you have shown any kind of interest in, and
you waste your time worrying that she might think you
are more than friends."

Frustrated I sat down putting my head in my hands. I
can't tell him about Tamara, and so I can't explain about
Joey. "Maybe Joey just isn't my type."

"Yeah I mean what's to like about her? She is pretty,
smart, kind and best of all she doesn't seem to realize
any those things. I mean who would want those
characteristics in a girl?"

"I don't know Jack. Maybe you should date her." I was
losing my patience with this conversation and I could feel
the sarcasm entering my voice.

"Pacey, I'm just trying to help you see what you have. I
mean how would you feel if someone else did try to date
her? I was watching you two at the dance last night, a
lot of guys were watching her. Doesn't that make you
nervous?"

Knowing inside that I didn't want to answer that question
I avoided. "Look Jack, I have to get going. Joey is
expecting me to meet her is 30 minutes and I still need to
shower."

"Okay Pace, I'm sorry for pushing, it's not my place. Just
be careful alright, not just for her for you too."

Arriving at the main parlor I looked around nervously,
wondering if Joey was even planning on coming. As she
walked down the stairs towards me I felt my heat skip a
beat. She looked great. Her jeans molded to her body,
and the green turtle necked sweater she wore hugged all
her curves.

"Hey Pacey, so where are we going?"

"Um… actually there has been a change of plans."

"What no horseback riding?"

"Jen told you huh?"

"Yeah I made her though I swear she put up a really good
fight. I think it sounds like fun. I even brought my sketch
pad." She smiled waving the notebook in front of me.

"Yeah well the sunsets from the trail are really pretty. But
you know I went in October, when it was a lot warmer. I
think it will be more fun if we wait a few months to go. I
promise I'll take you." I really hoped she believed me. The
truth is Jack's words had stuck with me. I had planned a
romantic date, unintentionally. I had planned on having a
picnic together along the way. I had planned on bringing
blankets to lie down on to enjoy the sunset. And I had
only reserved one horse, so she could ride with me. I
could feel the reaction in my body at the thought of
being that close to her for so long. I knew what it felt like
to have her in my arms. I had slept that was for the last
two Saturday nights. It's defiantly better this way.

"So what are we doing, Witter?"

"I thought we could go into town. Eat real food, not the
mass produced stuff they make here. And then I thought
we could go to the art museum. Maybe you could even
educate me on some of the finer points." I had planned
this date carefully, it seemed like the best possible
scenario for very little physical contact.

"That sounds like fun Pacey. I'm holding you to the
promise to take me horseback riding later though." She
smiled at me and I felt it melt my heart. She than laced
her arm through mine making my heart leap back into
action.

Chapter 8 - Revelations - Joey's P.O.V.

In your eyes

The light the heat

In your eyes

I am complete

The sound blasted through our small dorm room startling
me so much I fell right out of bed and onto the floor.
Blinking my eyes to clear the fogginess left from sleep, I
saw Jack standing in our doorway in an overcoat with a
radio held high over his head. I looked at the clock on my
nightstand 5:30 a.m. blinked back at me.

"Jack," I growled as I stood up rubbing the sore spot
where my butt had hit the floor. Then I looked at Jen, a
huge smile on her face she seemed to be glowing.

"Jack you remembered how much I love that scene in Say
Anything. That is my favorite movie." Jen gushed.

"Happy Valentines Sweetie." A proud smile played on his
face. He than turned the music off setting down his
stereo. I watched as he reached into the hallway and
tried to hide behind his back a huge bouquet of flowers.
As he handed them to Jen I saw there were tons of red
roses mixed with large white lilies. "I love you."

Jack then returned to the hallway and came back holding
a single yellow rose. "Happy Valentines Day Joey. Sorry to
wake you so early."

"Ah Jack," I felt my annoyance slipping away. "If that
weren't the sweetest thing I had ever seen you would so
be in a world of hurt right now." I gave Jack a light hug.
"Happy Valentines to you!"

I watched as Jack moved over to Jen and the inevitable
kissing began. "So how about I go for a walk and let you
guys begin the day of love in style." I smiled at Jen, when
I barely got a nod in return I made my exit as fast as
possible.

The last six weeks had gone by almost to fast! They had
been the best of my life. I love being here. I love being
able to be me without being the subject of all gossip. Jen
had become like a sister to me. She and I are closer than
I thought possible. I trust her completely. I adore her.
And Pacey is my amazing best friend. He has this way
about him. He always seems to know what I'm thinking or
feeling. He knows when to push and when to back off.
Although sometimes he seems to push just to get me
worked up. I think he likes to see my reactions. Best of all
I can always trust him for the truth. He tells things as
they are, no holds barred. We spend practically all our
time together during the week. Saturday nights are our
special times. He always shows up promptly at 5:00 pm.
We go to dance lessons together, where we've greatly
improved. After the dinner and dance we always come
back to my room, where we usually stay up all night
talking. I love every moment of it. My thoughts broke off
as I realized where I had ended up.

Looking up at Pacey's door I knocked softly and waited
for an answer. Thinking Pacey must still be a sleep I
turned the knob and entered as quietly as possible. Pacey
sat on his bed lost in his thoughts. I watched as he
finished wrapping a small box. He looked dressed up to me
in a pair of khaki pants and a deep blue sweater. I
wanted him to turn and look at me so I could see what
the color of the sweater was doing to his eyes.

"Pace." He jumped in response to my voice; he smiled at
me while he shoved the small gift in his pocket.

"Uh hey Jo, what're you doing here at…6:00 in the
morning on a Saturday?"

"Not just any Saturday Witter, Valentines day. Well to
give you the quick run down; Jack made a grand romantic
gesture, Jen loved it, the kissing started, and I fled. I
thought maybe I could crash here with you for a while.
You know until the Porn that is currently happening in my
room is through." I looked at Pacey; again I wondered
why he was so dressed up so early in the morning. Maybe
he was making a grand romantic gesture too. I allowed
myself to dream for a moment that it was for me.

"You can stay here if you want Potter, I was just getting
ready to go though." And my fantasy ended. Pacey had
changed from my first couple weeks here. Since the night
he almost kissed me. In crowded areas he acted normal.
But when we're alone, he generally keeps from touching
me. We had even taken to sleeping in a classic
Dawson/Joey style with each person having a designated
side of the bed with some invisible line that neither one of
us crosses. Still where the physical intimacy was lacking
the emotional was great. I honestly felt like I knew about
as much as there is to know about Mr. Pacey J. Witter.
Well almost everything, his Saturday mornings were a
mystery to us all. He always disappeared early, according
to Jack Pacey was always gone before Jack even got up,
and Pacey always returned around 4:00 to get ready for
the dance. I have always wanted to ask where he goes,
but never had the nerve until now.

"Where do you go so early each week Pacey?" I
questioned not meaning my voice to come out as softly
as it did.

"Jo I'm not sure I want to talk…"

"Pacey," I cut him off in mid sentence. "You can tell me
anything, besides if you don't tell me now I will just ask
again tonight for my question. Remember you promised to
always answer that honestly."

He let out a deep breath that I hadn't noticed he was
holding. "Okay Jo, I am going to tell you some. No
specifics and you have to promise me never to ask who it
is."

"Okay I promise I guess, but who what is?"

"There is this person, who I care about. I spend Saturday
mornings with her." The word "her" cutting through me
like a knife. I could feel a dull pain in my chest, right
where my heart is.

"You're seeing someone." I had meant it to come out as a
question.

"Sort of, look she is unique…special. I don't want gossip
started about her. I don't want people thinking badly of
her because she is with me. I need to protect her from
that. Jo, she is way out of my league. A fantasy girl, and
I am not the guy that usually gets the girl." I saw his
eyes pleading with me to stop the questions. However
the anger and betrayal I felt building inside me wouldn't
let me.

"We have been friends, best friends, for six weeks an you
have never bothered to mention to me that you're seeing
someone! Why does it have to be such a secret?" I could
feel the harshness of my voice, looking in his eyes I knew
he could too.

"Potter," his voice softer than I had ever heard it. "It just
does, I wouldn't have kept this from you if I didn't have
to. People would think less of her if they knew she was
with me. I'm not an acceptable boyfriend for her." I could
hear the pain in his voice.

"I'm not people Pacey, and you aren't who I thought you
were." His words finally started sinking in with me. She
was one of the society girls at our school. There are lots
of wealthy kids at this school. Then there are the society
kids. They are out of everyone's league. They really only
date each other. Suddenly I felt kind of sorry for him. "I'm
sorry no one can know about the two of you. I can see
that that bothers you. Thanks for letting me stay here
Pacey. Happy Valentines Day." I could see the relief in his
eyes that I was letting this conversation go. I could also
see fear, probably of what I now thought of him.

"Yeah you too. I'll see you tonight at five, right? You're
still going to the dance with me aren't you?"

I forced a small smile as I answered, "Sure Pacey, see
you then."

As soon as the door closed behind him the tears started
to fall. Laying back on his bed I let myself really cry,
hoping the tears would wash away some of my pain. How
could this be? How could I not have known there was
somebody else? The past few weeks there had been
moments that I really thought he liked me. How could I be
so stupid? It's Dawson all over again. I waited until after
seven to go back to my room. I didn't want to put a
damper on Jen's day, but I really needed her.

I entered my room to see Jack and Jen sitting on her bed,
both fully clothed much to my relief.

"Joey, we've been waiting for you!" Jen's smile seemed to
light up the room. "Jack here was just telling me a very
interesting story. Well go ahead Jack, tell her."

"Well a bunch of us guys were sitting around last night
playing cards, anyway Drue … Drue Valentine asked me
about you. Do you know who he is?"

"Yeah, we have English and history together."

"Well anyway, he has a huge crush on you. All the guys
started telling Drue that he doesn't stand a chance, since
you are Pacey's girl…"

"Pacey's girl," I interrupted

"Uh yeah, everyone pretty much figures you guys are a
couple. You know with all the time you spend together.
Well Drue assured everyone that you two aren't a couple.
Actually he kind of hinted that Pacey might have
someone else."

"Did he say who?" I jumped on the question.

"Uh no, but we all know that Pacey doesn't have a
girlfriend. The point is, Drue is coming over here this
morning to ask you to the dance tonight."

"Oh well that is sweet, but I already made plans to go
with Pacey. He already rented a tux and everything." The
thought of going with somebody else actually sounded
good at the moment. But I had just told Pacey I would
still be going with him. I can't back out on him now. He is
still my friend.

"Ha…see I told you so." Jen burst out, making it clear
they had some kind of wager going on my reaction. "Drue,
he is not your type anyway Jo. He moves really fast."

"How do you know that?" Jack joined the conversation.

"Girls talk Jack," Jen rolled her eyes as if that were the
most obvious statement.

Turning back to me Jack seemed determined to not lose
completely. "But Jo, Drue he really likes you. Pacey, well I
think he only sees you as a friend."

I could feel the tears burning in my eyes again. "Trust me
Jack, I know that better than you do. In fact if Drue had
asked me a week ago, instead of waiting till the last
minute, my answer might be different." It was a lie, a big
one. A week ago I never would've passed up the chance
to go with Pacey. "As it is Jack I already made plans, and
it would be rude to break them on such short notice."

I saw Jen smile in response as Jack opened his mouth to
continue his protest when a knock sounded at our door. I
turned slowly to answer it. Dreading what was on the
other side.

"Hey Joey." Drue smiled at me. "Jack, Jen…uh Joey, can I
talk to you for a minute…alone?"

I nodded at him and followed him into the hall.

"So Joey, I was wondering if you would like to be my
Valentine?" He asked pulling a teddy bear out from behind
his back. "And go to the dance with me tonight?"

"Drue, that is so sweet really. Actually though I already
have plans to go with Pacey tonight." I looked him in the
eyes hoping that he could see my regret. When I saw the
anger in his eyes it surprised me.

"You aren't going with me because of that loser Witter?
Are you serious? I'm twice the man he'll ever be. Not only
physically but financially too. Do you know how much my
father is worth? Pacey, he doesn't even like you. Do you
know who he is sleeping with?"

Sleeping with? I could hear the question ringing in my
ears. Pacey was having sex with this girl. That is probably
what he is doing right now. I could feel all the emotion
from today boiling into anger inside me. I let it explode at
the nearest target. Throwing the teddy bear back at him
I yelled. "I don't think you know Pacey as well as you
think you do! And I was going to say maybe we could do
it another time, but after this I hope I never see you
again! By the way your fathers net worth means nothing
to me!"

"No Joey, you don't know your precious Pacey as well as
you think you do." He hissed back at me.

Turning I stomped back into my dorm room and slammed
the door shut behind me. Jack and Jen sat in the exact
same spot where I left them, both wide eyed. The
expressions on their faces left no doubt in my mind that
they had heard everything. Not wanting to act brave
anymore when I didn't feel it, I sat down next to Jen and
started to cry. Her arms wrapped around me filling me
with comfort as she asked Jack to give us some time
alone together.

Pacey's P.O.V.

Stepping out of my dorm room I smoothed my sweater
and felt for the small package in my pocket. I knew
Tamara would be waiting for me, but mostly I just wanted
to back inside my room with Joey. Stay with her until she
felt better about this whole messed up thing.

I felt, more than heard, the sigh that escaped me. My
feet felt like lead weight as I forced them to start moving
towards Tamara's office. The past six weeks had been
indescribable. I didn't know I was capable of caring for
someone as much as I care for Joey. I have this amazing
girl who constantly keeps me on my toes laughing. She is
beautiful and so smart. She makes me think, usually of a
comeback someway to defend myself. I feel so at home
with her, like I belong. Like I belong to her. I have heard
the rumors lately about us being together, a couple. In
fact I encourage them. I hold her hand whenever
possible, and I have taken to whispering things in her ear
that I could just as easily be saying out loud. I hated to
admit it, even to myself, but I do it to keep other guys
away. I don't want to share her. God, I am such a jerk!
Here I am on my way to share an intimate part of myself
with Tamara and I don't want to share Joey with anyone
else. I just don't want to lose any part of her.

I can't even begin to explain my emotions. Tamara, well
she is my first. These weekly sessions together have
almost become a habit, a routine. I'd realized a while ago
that my heart and mind were somewhere else, with
someone else. I just don't know how to make the sex in
these weekly meeting stop. The meeting themselves
would have to go on, I don't know if I could stand that. I
meant everything I said earlier to Joey, I do care about
Tamara. I really don't want anyone to find out about us. I
know how much trouble Tamara would be in, but it is
more than that. Tamara had taken this huge chance with
me, and I need to prove that her faith in me is not
misplaced.

I had seen the hurt in Joey's eyes when she began to
understand that there is someone else. It wrecked me
inside to see her pain. The last couple of weeks I've
noticed the way Joey looks at me, it's
changing…intensifying. I had to tell her the truth. I didn't
want to. Even thought it hurt her, and me to do so, she
needed to know. She deserves the truth; I just hope I
don't lost her because of it.

I often think of how ironic it is that I slept with Tamara
for the first time the same day I met Jo. I thought at the
time it was my lucky day, it was turning into a nightmare.
If I had not made that first move, hell if I had knocked
before I went in, my life would be so different now. I
could have everything. I could have Joey. I had to stop
thinking this way! I am lucky to have Tamara. She is
every guy's fantasy. Who wouldn't want her? Right now,
me.

Arriving at the office door I knocked softly, and waited
for a reply.

"Hey Pacey." She purred at me. "Come in."

"Hey Tamara, Happy Valentines Day." Remembering the
box in my pocket. I grabbed it and handed it to her.

"Oh Pacey, you didn't have to get me anything." She took
the box, the smile on her lips lit up her eyes as she
opened it. Inside set a delicate gold band that formed a
heart in the middle. Set in the middle of the heart was a
small ruby, Tamara's birthstone. "Pacey it's beautiful, I
love it."

I just smiled back at her. "I'm glad."

The morning progressed as usual. Tamara always insisted
that we get business out of the way, before we moved
on to the pleasure. We review my grades and attendance
and when we finished she looked at me with a sly look in
her eyes. "You know Pacey I actually got you something
too." She walked over to her office door, locking it behind
her. Turning to me she began unbuttoning her dress. I
watched as it fell to the floor forming a puddle around her
feet. Moving my eyes back up her she stood before me in
a bright red teddy, complete with black thigh highs and
high-heeled shoes. I felt my body responding with out my
permission as a groan escaped my lips. She began walking
very slowly towards me, her hips swinging as she moved.
Upon reaching me she sat down hard on my lap. Wrapping
her arms around me she kissed me, full and warm on the
mouth. The next few hours spent alone in her office
guaranteed this to be a Valentines unlike any before it.
One I would defiantly never forget.

Chapter 9 - Explanations - Joey's P.O.V.

"Jen are you sure about this?" I looked at my friend
before looking back at my reflection. Standing before me
in the mirror was a girl I'd never seen before.

"Joey! Yes I am sure!" Jen rolled her eyes at me for
having to answer the same question again. "Look I don't
know what Pacey's deal is, but he had been treating you
like his girlfriend for weeks! Walking around holding your
hand, who does that? It's no wonder the whole school
thinks you two are dating. Not to mention the fact that
you started liking him. Then out of the blue he tells you
there is a 'secret' someone else. Well he is going to find
out tonight what he is missing out on! And that Drue,
what a jerk! He had no right talking to you like that! You
were being totally polite. Way nicer that I would've
been."

"Okay Jen, calm down" I giggled at her. "You're right,
you're always right." I looked at myself again. I had spent
every summer I can remember parading around Capeside
in my swimsuit, but I had never felt as naked as I do
now. The dress was made of a soft black silk that seemed
to whisper as I moved. It hung on me held up by the
thinnest straps I've ever seen. The material caused it to
cling tightly to my body all the way hips, where it began
to flow. The loose skirt stopped a good four inches above
my knees. There was no back to the dress, the cut of it
making it impossible to wear underwear of any kind. My
legs seemed even longer with the short skirt and strappy
black heels. I had on dangling silver earrings and a silver
choker style necklace with a single dangling black opal.
The rich color of the dress seemed to make my skin glow.
Jen had blown my hair straight and then used hot rollers
to make large ringlets, which she pulled back into a tight
ponytail. The front of my hair was parted on the side and
seemed to sweep around my head.

The knock at the door brought me back to reality. Jen
looking beautiful in a red cocktail dress held a hint of
pride in her eyes as she indicated for me to open the
door. Upon opening it I saw only Jack standing there. As I
felt the disappointment flooding through me Jack looked
up seeing me for the first time.

"Jo…Joey?" He asked stuttering my name as he dropped
the package he was holding.

"Ja…Ja…Jack?" I chuckled back to him.

"Uh Pacey forgot your corsage" He said bending over to
pick up the flowers he had dropped moments before. "He
wanted us to wait for him here. Boy am I glad he did, I
can't wait to see his face when you open that door." A
sly smile spread across Jack's face.

"Honey, quit eyeing my roommate." Jen spoke up for the
first time, the pride at Jack's reaction now evident in her
voice. Jack winked at me before moving past me, he eyes
firmly planted on the floor.

"So Jack, did Pacey have anything to say for himself?" I
shot Jen a warning glare for her question. I had told her
some of what Pacey had said hoping she could help me,
however before I would tell her I made her promise it was
just between the two of us. Knowing that it was
important to Pacey that this secret, remain a secret.

"Uh about what Jen?"

"Well did you tell him about Drue?"

"No actually I didn't have a chance. He came in later that
usual today and ran right for the shower." Well it is
Valentines Day; of course he would spend more time with
her than usual. I could feel all the emotions I thought I
had cried out earlier starting to build again. Not really
wanting to hear anymore I was grateful for the sound of
the second knock sounding on the door. Standing up I
smoothed my dress and looked to Jen and Jack for
assurance. Opening the door I felt my breath catch. This
is the first formal dance we'd been to so seeing Pacey in
a tux was also a first. He looked like a man. His shoulders
seemed to go on forever, while the cut of the jacket
made his hips appear narrow. He looked strong and
confident as he filled my doorway, until he looked up at
me.

"Jo…Joey" He muttered blinking his eyes as though that
would change my appearance.

"Yes Pacey?"

"Wow…you look amazing! Is that dress legal?"

"I think so, well as long as I don't bend over." I smiled
twirling side to side for him. "Do you like it?"

"Yes, I'm not sure this is a good idea though. Guy's will be
all over you." He stated letting his eyes roam over me
again.

"That's the idea Pacey." Jen said a hint of bitterness in
her voice. "I think it's about time Joey found a guy."

"Joey doesn't need some random guy. She has me."
Pacey stammered.

"Correct me if I'm wrong Pacey, but wasn't it just this
morning that you were telling me you've got somebody
else. Maybe I want that too." I whispered so only he
could hear. Leaning into him to do so I caught the scent
of his cologne. Why did he have to smell so good? Feeling
my body react to his scent I let myself rub up against him
hoping to cause a similar reaction in him. I watched as he
shuddered in response, a feeling of satisfaction passed
through me. "Come on guys, let's go." I smiled at Jen and
Jack, trying to ignore the way Jen was eyeing me. I
swear that girl sees everything. Stepping out the door in
front of Pacey I smiled as he gasped upon seeing the
back of the dress for the first time.

Jen and I walked a few feet ahead, both of us listening
intently to the boys whispering behind us.

"So you know Drue came by and asked Joey to the dance
this morning."

"What?" Pacey's question came out coated with anger.

"Yeah he was pretty pissed when she said she was going
with you. You might want to watch out for him tonight."

"Why would he ask her Jack? Everyone knows how close
we are. He had to know we would be going together."

"Maybe he just doesn't care Pacey. Maybe he wants Joey
to know she has options. And the way she looks tonight,
I'd be surprised if he's the only one hitting on her." I felt
the blush rise to my cheeks with Jack's words. Looking
back I watched as Pacey clenched his hands into fists,
Jack responded by grabbing Pacey by the arm. "Look
Pacey, she isn't your girlfriend. Something the majority of
this school doesn't seem to know. Which is probably why
she hasn't been asked out before. If you want her to be,
do something about it. If you don't, stop acting like a
jealous boyfriend. Step aside and let someone else care
about her."

Pacey's face seemed to crumble with that statement.
"I…I can't. She's my best friend, I need her." Pacey's
voice was filled with disappointment and regret. A small
part of me felt flattered that he felt he couldn't be
without me. The larger rational part of me felt angry. Why
am I constantly stuck in the best friend category? Why
does he get the only say in defining our relationship? I
knew the answer to these questions, it's because I let
him. Just like I'd done with Dawson. It's not just his
emotions at stake though. And why should he get me as
a best friend and someone else as a, I don't know,
girlfriend…lover? What is she to him anyway? Grabbing
Jen's hand I began to walk faster, needing to put some
space between Pacey and I.

Looking at Jen's face I could see the conflict in her eyes.
"What do I do Jen?" my voice barely a whisper.

"Jo, I don't know. The words he said made him sound like
a jerk, but his voice sounded so distraught. I almost felt
bad for him. Maybe he is just really confused. Look, this
isn't great advice but it's all I have. Don't think about this
anymore tonight. Enjoy yourself. Try to have fun, and do
whatever feels right. Do you want to dance with other
guys?"

"No, does that make me pathetic? I just want to be with
Pacey."

"You are not pathetic Joey. If anyone is it is that 'best
friend' of yours and his 'girlfriend'. Maybe if the girl sees
you in this dress with Pacey her possessive side will kick
in and she'll finally come forward. If she would do that we
could sort everything out. I'm sorry I can't help you more
sweetie."

"It's okay Jen. Don't worry about me. I think I'll just have
fun with Pacey. Act like nothing has changed. It'll be
better than dancing with guys I don't know. Then tonight
after the dance I'll just tell him I can't do this anymore." I
forced a smile for her. Turning I walked back to Pacey.

"Hey Witter."

"Potter." He nodded at me, guilt dancing on his face.
"Uh… about that stuff I told you this morning…"

"Not now Pacey." I interrupted him not wanting the
emotions I was barely holding in to break free. "We'll talk
about it tonight, right now let's just have fun." I then
gave him the same forced smile I had just shown to Jen.

Pacey seemed to watch me for a moment as if testing my
sincerity. "You know Potter, now that you're wearing that
dress, I might have to stop calling you a prude." The
lightness of his voice seemed to break the tension
between us.

"Bite me Pacey." My usual comeback rolled of my tongue.
This dress must make me brave because before I realized
it I'd leaned close to him and whispered, "You know I'm
not wearing any underwear at all."

"What?" Pacey almost yelled while tripping over his own
feet.

Seeing the humor in the situation I asked as sweetly as I
could, "Oh you didn't hear me Pace?"

"No, no I heard you. May I ask why?"

"Well it's not for lack of trying. Everything I put on
showed. The back is just cut to low.

"Okay I must say, you Miss Josephine Potter are officially
not a prude."

"Ah…thanks Pacey." I winked at him. "It's Valentines you
know, maybe the lack of underwear is a sign. Maybe I'll
get lucky."

The smile fell from his face, as seriousness entered his
eyes. "Jo, I really think we need to talk."

"No! Not now Pacey, I promise we'll talk tonight after the
dance."

"How can we talk tonight if you are going to be busy
getting lucky?" I almost didn't catch his reply as he
mumbled it under his breath.

"Oh you mean like you were all afternoon?" The guilty look
in his eyes was answer enough. I let a huge sigh out
realizing again that I really don't want to get into this
right now. "Come on Pacey, you know I was just kidding
about getting lucky. I'm not like that. It's not like I'm
going to change, and sleep with some random guy just
because it's Valentines." I rolled my eyes at him and he
seemed to relax.

Dance class and dinner were nice. We had fun, and things
began to feel normal between us again. After dinner since
this is one of the formal dances the school skipped all of
the classic music and started out with the modern stuff.
Of course they did seem to play a lot of extra slow songs.
As on of these songs began Pacey took my hand and led
me to the dance floor. As Pacey wrapped his arms around
my body an all to familiar heat filled my body.

"Hey Jo,"

"Yeah?"

"This dress is kind of confusing to me. I'm just not sure
how low is to low to put my hands." He mumbled sounding
embarrassed.

Smiling at his hesitation I whispered in his ear. "Why don't
you start sliding your hands down, and I promise to tell
you when." I felt a shiver pass through him. He touched
me lightly looking me in the eyes the whole time. His
fingers slid down my back leaving a trail of fire. Just as he
reached the stopping point I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Can I cut in?" Drue stood next to me his eyes running up
and down my body. Any warmth Pacey had caused left
me, I folded my across my chest not really liking the way
Drue was looking at me. Pacey must have sensed my
discomfort as he tightened his arm around my waist.
Moving he blocked me from Drue's view and answered his
question for me.

"Not now Drue, we're in the middle of something."

"I'm not talking to you Witter. I'm talking to Joey." Drue
turned to me touching my arm. "I'm sorry for the way
things went this morning. I didn't mean to get upset. I
really do like you. I think you're a cool girl, and I just
want a chance."

"Jo, can I talk to you for a minute?" I felt Pacey pulling
me away, not really waiting for my answer. "Potter, Drue,
he's not the guy for you. He has a reputation, you know?
You deserve better than that." I looked into Pacey's
eyes, as much as I didn't want his input on this right
now, I trust his opinion and I could tell he meant it. Then
I noticed Drue standing beside Pacey, his face red with
fury.

"Oh really Witter." Drue was yelling now. "Better huh? And
who would that guy be? You? At least I'm not sleeping
with a member of the faculty!" Pacey whirled around to
face Drue, and while the music continued to play an odd
silence rung out. The small group of students, who before
were pretending not to listen, now made no effort to hide
their interest in our conversation.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Pacey answered
his voice like ice. He then turned back around to face me.

"Whatever Witter, you're screwing Ms. Jacobs! I walked in
on you. I saw everything." Drue's words stung me but it
was the look on Pacey's face that made it real. Fear filled
his eyes, followed by acceptance and maybe a hint of
shame. The truth was written all over his face. Oh my
God, he is sleeping with Ms. Jacobs! A vile taste entered
my mouth as everything he had told me this morning
came back to me, only this time it made sense. She is his
'secret' someone. She is old enough to be his mother!
Shifting my eyes back to his I could see he was trying to
figure out what to do. If there is anything I understand it
is the fear of everyone knowing your secrets. I've felt
that fear non-stop for years now. It felt like my whole life
I'd been the one everyone else whispered about. I
couldn't let that happen to Pacey. Something else came
to me at that moment, Drue was doing this to Pacey
because of me. He was trying to make Pacey look bad for
me. Taking Pacey's hand I squeezed gently as I stepped
towards Drue.

"Drue you're not only a bastard, you're a liar too!" I spoke
harshly to him, never letting go of Pacey's hand.

"What? Do you not get what I'm saying Joey?" Drue
answered wide-eyed. I looked around at the sizeable
crowd of people now listening intently to us.

"Drue, I get what you're trying to say. I also know why
you're making up these lies. You asked me to come to
this dance with you and I told you 'no' because I'd rather
come with Pacey. Now you're taking it out on him, by
making up lies! I don't even know why you asked me.
Everyone here knows I'm Pacey's girl." I repeated Jack's
words from earlier trying not to cringe. "If you want to be
a jerk to someone, do it to me not Pacey. Leave him out
of this. It's not his fault I like him not you!" Even I could
hear the truth to my words, my voice expressing
emotions I didn't want exposed.

I watched as eyes sharpened on me, stepping forward he
gently grabbed my arm again. "Joey, I don't believe that
you two are a couple. I've been watching you all week. I
know you're close, but you don't act like you're involved.
Do you know that I've never once seen you kiss him?"

Glaring one more time at Drue I took what he said to be a
challenge. A way to prove I was telling the truth. Turning
to Pacey I threw my arms around his neck and began to
kiss him. I'm the first to admit that kissing is not
something I've got a lot of experience in, but it was a
heart-stopping kiss. I moved as close to Pacey as I
could, my lips just brushing his at first. The sensation
from the contact made me crave more as I opened my
mouth lightly and deepened the kiss. I wanted to taste
him. Letting my tongue slip out I ran it along the seam of
his mouth asking for permission. His mouth opened to me
allowing entrance. My knees began to weaken. I felt his
hands flat on my bare back, and the heat that I could
feel on my lips seemed to spread to my whole body.
Letting go of Pacey's mouth I let rested my head
momentarily on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I whispered in his
ear. As I pulled back I gathered the strength to look him
in the eyes. The anger I'd expected to see wasn't there.
His eyes looked like they were on fire, making me want to
kiss him again.

"Uh hmm…" I turned to see Jen standing at my side. I saw
that the crowd was still there, with Drue standing as
though he was their leader, watching us. For a moment
I'd forgotten about all of them.

"That doesn't prove anything." Drue spoke up his voice
wavering with doubt.

"Jen, please tell Drue how I spend every Saturday night."
I looked at her pleading with my eyes for her to back up
my lies. She hesitated but eventually supported me.

"She spends them alone in our room with Pacey."

"Doing what?"

"I don't know." Jen rolled her eyes. "I just know that I'm
not allowed."

"Yeah, the only reason they are there together is so you
can be alone with Jack." Drue's voice seemed to be
gaining confidence again.

"Shut up Drue! You don't know anything." I spoke knowing
full well that what Drue said was the truth.

"Maybe this will prove something." Pacey's soft voice a
stark difference to the tones Drue and I had been using.
Turning to him, he pulled a box from his pocket. It wasn't
the same box he'd been wrapping this morning. This one
was longer. "Happy Valentines Day Jo."

"I…I didn't get you anything." I answered the surprise
evident in my voice.

"That's okay. Coming here with me tonight, having you in
my life, that's gift enough for me." Pacey stepped closer;
reaching up he gently ran a finger down my face. The
softness of his touch excited me. "Open it Jo."

I opened it to find what looked like a silver watch. It had
a delicate bracelet like band. As I looked closer, I realized
that it was actually a compass.

"There's an inscription on the back."

Turning it over in my hand I read the small words printed
there.

From the day I met you,

It was as if I'd found

A missing piece of myself

Yours, Pacey

"Oh Pacey, It's beautiful. I've never been given anything
like this before." As I said the words I fought with my
voice to keep it from cracking.

"When I first started looking I planned on buying you a
watch. When I found this compass Jo, it got me to
thinking. I found something special the day I met you,
you filled a void in me that I didn't know I had. I've never
had anyone who believes in me the way you do. I've
never met anyone who I believe in so much. I know with
a certainty that you can do anything. I don't know what I
would do Jo, if I ever had to be without you. I thought if
I got you a compass, I wouldn't have to worry so much
about losing you. You would always be able to find your
way back to me, to us." Pacey's eyes were filled with
stunning emotion. I felt tears beginning to escape from
the corners of my eyes. Pacey pulled me caringly into a
hug. "I care about you Potter, you're the person closest
to me. You're my best friend."

Best friend…friend…everything had felt so good, so real,
until he said that word. How can words with such a good
meaning hurt so much? The truth came crashing down
around me again. This is all a charade meant to disarm
Drue Valentine. Looking around I noticed that the crowd
was gone. Drue had vanished. Only one person stood
watching us. Ms. Jacobs.

Chapter 10 - Confessions & Invitations - Joey's and
Pacey's P.O.V.

Joey's P.O.V.

There she stood glaring at me. Her foot was tapping, her
arms were crossed and she seemed to be boring holes
into me with her eyes.

"Pacey."

"Yeah Jo?" He pulled slightly away from me as he
answered.

"Look." Was all I replied nodding over his shoulder at Ms.
Jacobs. Pacey turned and met her eyes lifting his chin to
her in a subtle greeting. Have caught his eye she began
walking over to us.

"Pacey can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked, the
calmness in her voice contradicting the anger in her eyes.
"Alone." Looking at her I was reminded of just how pretty
she really is. I instantly began to feel inadequate next to
her, like a little girl caught playing dress up in her
mother's clothes. I also began to feel a distinct dislike for
this woman who had been nothing but kind to me. She
has what I want, and to make matters worse I don't
stand a chance of getting it. Not with her as competition.

"I don't think that's a good idea Tamara." Pacey answered
in a hushed voice. Oddly, it was the use of her name that
struck me. I don't think I even knew what it was. It
showed to me a level of intimacy between them. "Drue
Valentine was just here, turns out he was the one that
walked in on us that day in January. He thought it would
be a good idea to bring it up now." Pacey confirmed it.
Everything Drue said was true.

Her eyes flashed to me. "Pacey," she practically hissed
out his name. "Let's talk about this in private."

"Joey already knows Ms. Jacobs." Pacey answered
mimicking her tone, and using her formal name for the
first time. "She just saved us both, by pretending to be
my girlfriend, instead of just my friend."

Ms. Jacobs eyed me suspiciously. Her eyes came to rest
on Pacey's arm, which still hung around my waist. "Oh did
she now?" A calm bitterness hung on her words as she
studied me. "How very noble of you Josephine." I felt
myself cringe at the use of my given name.

"Look, it's a good thing she did, or else the whole school
would know. Just think about how that would effect your
life." I could hear the frustration in Pacey's voice as he
defended my actions.

"Of course Pacey, you're right. Thank you Miss Potter.
That must have been some quick thinking on your part."
This time she was practically purring at Pacey. When she
turned to me her voice contained an unbelievable
sweetness. "You should probably continue pretending to
be involved with her, until we can put our heads together
and figure something else out." I watched as she petted
Pacey's arm softly and let her eyes run up and down his
body. Her eyes contained a wicked glint in them that she
flashed at me before continuing. "We'll talk about it next
Saturday Pacey. Who knows we might have to get
together sooner than that, if this pretending gets to be
too much for you. Oh thanks again for the ring you gave
me, Happy Valentines Pacey. Think of me and my gift to
you tonight."

With that she turned and walked away, her hips swinging.
I hate her. I honestly had the desire to reach out and pull
all of her hair out. I hated her touching Pacey. I hated
the way she was looking at him. More than that I hated
the way Pacey was watching her as she walked away.
God, are all guys just a walking penis? What is wrong with
me? Why am I putting myself in a position to hurt like
this? The answer came to me, or rather the questions left
my mind as Pacey turned to me and fixed his glowing blue
eyes on mine.

"Thank you Joey." His voice contained a huskiness that
caused my breath to catch. He brought my hand to his
lips and he gently kissed it. "You really did save me
tonight. I won't forget it, and I promise I'll make it up to
you. I'm just so sorry that you got mixed up in all this."

"That's not your fault Pacey, I kind of jumped in."

"Hey what do you say we go back to your room and talk?
This dance pretty much sucks! Besides I think it's time I
told you how this all happened." Unable to find words to
answer I nodded in reply. I watched as he took my hand
and began to lead me back to my room.

Pacey's P.O.V.

As we walked to Joey's room I studied her small hand
tucked neatly inside mine. It fit, perfectly. The silence
between us began to feel like it was consuming me. I
looked over at Joey, her head was held high, her back
straight. Her eyes were filled with fear, nervousness, and
confusion. She looked like someone who was trying to
look brave. If you didn't know her, maybe you would fall
for it. She had stood up for me tonight, she had
protected me and sacrificed of herself in the process.
Nobody had ever done that for me before. Not family, not
friends, it seems like my whole life I was always
protecting them. Now I finally had someone truly special
to me and she was forced to hide my misdeeds from the
world. She had to protect me.

After what seemed like forever we reached her dorm
room. "Jo, are you sure you want me staying here
tonight? I mean after everything that has happened."

"Well you are my boyfriend now Witter, we'd better make
it convincing. Pacey do you think it's sad that the first
boyfriend I've ever had is in love with another woman?"
Joey kept her brave face on through out the question,
her tone masking if she was serious or joking. I had a sick
feeling inside that it was a mixture of both.

"Joey, I'm not in love with her."

"Oh, okay so same question but substitute 'in love with'
for 'sleeping with'. It still isn't a good sign." This time a
small smile played on her lips implying that she was joking.

"Well let's see, you've been my girlfriend for what, a half
hour now? I'd say you just held out to long. I mean
what's a guy to do? I had to turn to somebody else for
comfort. Although I would like to point out that I haven't
cheated on you yet, you've been with me the whole time
so you are my alibi."

"Oh really Jailbait! Well you're the worst pretend boyfriend
ever! But even though you are a little skanky, I have to
say you do buy nice gifts. To bad I'm not the kind of girl
you can buy off." Her eyes twinkled at me as she spoke.

"Well between your name-calling and my infidelities, Jo I'm
not sure how long this pretend relationship will last." I
smiled at her hoping the Witter charm would work.
"Seriously Potter about the compass, I just wanted to get
you something nice. I wish I had been able to give it to
you under different circumstances. I want you to know
that you're important to me. If I haven't said it yet, thank
you for what you did for me back there, standing up for
me. You…you're special to me. I've never had this kind of
relationship with a girl. I mean I've had girls that were
friends before, but not this intense…deep. I feel
connected to you. I have from almost the moment I met
you. I had this feeling inside, like I have always known
you." I prayed that she would not only hear my words but
also feel their sincerity. I needed her to understand how
important she is to me.

I felt like no matter what I said to her, it wouldn't be
enough. There just aren't words big enough to explain
what I feel for her. In truth, I don't fully understand it. All
I know is I've never felt this way before.

"I know Pacey. I almost hate to ask but why do that with
Ms. Jacobs?"

"Sex, Joey."

"So that's all it was to you just sex?" I don't know why
but I thought my answer would be comforting to her. I
thought it would make her feel better to know it was just
physical with Tamara. Instead she was looking at me with
disgust in her eyes. "I thought you were better than that
Pacey."

"Okay it's not just sex, there are feelings involved. It's
not love, but it's something." Okay this conversation is
not going well.

"That wasn't really my question anyway Pace. I didn't
mean why did you do it, I meant why do it with her
specifically. I mean why Ms. Jacobs? I mean I know she is
pretty, but she is kind of old. I guess the question is how
did this happen? How did you get in a sexual relationship
with your school counselor?" Her question demanded an
answer but her eyes told me she really didn't want to
know. How do I explain this to her without hurting her
more than I already have? How do I explain it to her
without looking like an idiot? Everyday since I'd met Joey
I've thought about ending things with Tamara, there is
this huge part of me that wants more from Joey. A part
that wants a chance at a relationship with her, but I am
scared. Things are so easy with Tamara, no expectations
just fun. I don't have any standard to live up to. Things
were so easy with Joey up until today too. I just didn't
want to complicate it. What if things didn't work out with
Joey? What if I lost her completely? I came to the same
conclusion that I always do, things are best as they are.
Safe. I know things could be better, but they could be a
lot worse. I'm not sure I could handle the worse. Besides,
I don't know how to end things with Tamara. I had never
broken up with a girl before. In all honesty, I had always
figured Tamara would see what a mistake we are and end
things. "Pacey, hello, are you going to answer my
question?"

"Well Jo, I remember the first time I saw Tamara, she
came to my school to interview me for my scholarship.
She was wearing one of those dresses that look like a
slip. She looked gorgeous. Me and my best friend, Will,
were standing in the hall talking when she walked into the
school. At the time I didn't know she was there to see
me. She walked right by us. I told Will that she would be
mine. He laughed at me, knowing as well as I did that I
stood no chance. I guess I took it as a challenge. When I
got here to school I started looking at our weekly
meetings as a chance to flirt with her. In the beginning
she would roll her eyes at my innuendo, or else end up
giving me a lecture on how inappropriate it was. But she
never really got mad at me. After awhile she started
laughing at my come-ons. Then eventually she started
flirting back. By November she had moved my
appointments to Saturday mornings. I figured it was so
we could have more time alone together, since all of her
other students meet with her sometime during the week.
Our relationship moved in a whole new direction the day
you moved here Jo, that morning at my meeting." I went
through and replayed the day for her leaving out most of
the details. The whole time I talked I kept my eyes fixed
on a spot on her bed, not daring to look her in the eyes.
Not wanting to see what she thought or felt. After I
finished talking we set in silence, for how long I'm not
sure. I finally dared look up at her. She looked deep in
thought, playing with the compass I gave her.

"Pace," The strength in her voice startled me. "Were you
thinking of her when I kissed you?"

"Jo…"

"Answer me Pace."

"Yes." I answered, not sure if it was the truth. "But to be
fair Joey, you caught me off guard. Drue was there
watching us, and I kept thinking about was how awful it
would be for her. Especially if anyone believed him." I
wanted to tell her how amazing the kiss had been, how I
could literally feel my heart trying to jump out of my
chest. I wanted to tell her that from the moment she had
opened her mouth to me I had lost all conscious thought.
I had forgotten where I was. I could still taste her on my
lips. I will never forget how soft her skin felt under my
fingers. It was everything I had ever imagined a first kiss
to be, and nothing like all the kisses I had experienced
before her. I knew deep inside that no other kisses would
ever compare to hers. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't.
I couldn't set her up for more disappointment. Not as long
as I am involved with Tamara.

"Oh." Joey turned her back to me. I knew she was hiding
tears. My own eyes began to fill at the thought.

"I'm sorry Joey. I…" I needed to tell her everything. She
needs to know how wonderful I think she is.

"Pacey" she cut me off. "If there were no Ms. Jacobs in
your life…" Her voice trailed off. Really not wanting to
answer that question I was relieved when a knock
sounded at the door. How could I tell her that even with
Tamara in my life I would prefer her? How could I tell her
that and then not live up to my words. I watched as Joey
pulled her self together and went to answer the door.

"Joey, are you okay?"

"Yeah Jen, I'm fine." I looked up to see Jen staring at me.
Her eyes seemed to be accusing me.

"What's going on?" Jen's voice held the same accusation
as her eyes.

"Nothing really! I just stubbed my toe that's all." Joey
rolled her eyes at Jen. Jen continued to stare at me until
I nodded in agreement.

"So did you tell them?" Jack asked appearing in the
doorway behind Jen.

"Tell us what?" Joey asked her voice unnaturally light.

"Well after everything that happened at the dance, I
thought maybe we could use a break from this place.
Now, before I tell you my plan there is something I need
to know. Joey are you sure everything is okay between
you two?"

"Yes Jen! We are fine. The best of friends, really."

"Pacey?"

"Joey and I are fine Jen."

"Okay then, so this coming weekend is a four day. We
don't have classes on Monday because of Presidents day.
So I called my parents, turns out they are in Europe for a
month, but they said we could go stay at my house. My
dad even offered to pay for our train tickets to New York.
So… what do you think? Should we go?"

Joey had returned to my side, sitting next to me on her
bed. "You have your meeting with Ms. Jacobs on
Saturday." She gently reminded me.

"It can be rescheduled. I've done it before. I think it
sounds like fun. Count me in Lindly, I would love to go."

"Me too!" Joey's excited voice rang through the room.
"I've always wanted to go to New York!"

"Okay then." Jen answered all smiles at her roommates
joy. "I'll go call my dad back and let him know. Come on
Jack. Joey, I'll see you in the morning, we have a whole
weekend to plan."

"Okay goodnight guys. Hey Pace, I'm going to go change
into my p.j.'s, I'll be right back." I watched as she
disappeared into the bathroom. While she was gone I
stripped down to my boxers and wife beater, and laid
down in her bed. We always slept there together and
talked till we fell asleep. Those were some of my favorite
times with her. When she came out of the bathroom she
took one look at me and went to lay down on Jen's bed.

"Joey, what are you doing? Come here."

"Pacey, it doesn't feel right anymore. I'll just sleep over
here okay? So what should we talk about tonight?" She
asked obviously trying to change the subject.

"Joey, it doesn't have to change things between us."

"It does Pacey. It does change things. You're involved
with somebody else." I could hear the frustration in her
voice.

"I know I am. I have been the whole time Joey. It doesn't
have to affect our relationship."

"It already has!" Joey practically yelled at me, emotion
causing her voice to break. "I'm really tired. We'll talk
about this later." She rolled over so her back was facing
me, I watched helplessly as buried her self in Jen's
blanket.

Damn it! This sucks! Why am I hurting her? I felt tears fill
my eyes for the second time tonight. She is going to
start pulling away from me, and I deserve it. It's my own
damn fault. I'm being selfish. I'm putting my own wants
first. No, that's a lie. If I was truly putting my own wants
first, I would be with Joey. That's what I want. I'm
putting Tamara's feeling first, which I don't understand.
Joey means so much more to me, but I let her hurt to
protect Tamara. I wish I had someone to talk to about
this. The only people I'm really close to here are Joey and
Tamara, neither one of which I can voice this to.

Looking over at Joey her breathing has evened out.
Climbing out of bed I walk over to her sleeping form, and
set next to her on Jen's bed. Sliding my thumb across her
face I push her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. She
looks so beautiful laying there bathed in the moonlight. As
I study her I see the trails the tears have left down her
soft cheeks. Tears I've caused. "I never meant to hurt
you Joey." I whisper into the night. Leaning over I kiss
her softly on the cheek. Watching her sleep I feel more at
peace than I have in weeks.

Joey P.O.V.

I kept my eyes firmly closed and my breathing as even as
possible. I heard his declaration. I felt the kiss. I could
feel him even now watching me. My heart was pounding
in my chest. He finally slid into bed next to me. Putting
his arm around my waist he pulled me flush to his body. I
should pull away. I should tell him to leave. With his arms
wrapped around me though, all the ugliness of the day
leaves my heart and my mind. I feel him now nuzzling his
head into my hair as he drifts off to sleep. I decide to let
myself enjoy this moment, the feeling of him there. I
know he will be gone to soon.

Chapter 11 - Changes - Pacey's P.O.V.

Have you ever stopped and looked at your life? Wondered
how you had gotten to where you are? When did it stop
being simple? Ever since Saturday night all I had done
was ask myself these questions. Well that and think non-
stop about Joey. What she had done for me, and why she
had done it. It was like all these questions were haunting
me. I knew I would have done the same for her. My
feelings for her are to strong, I couldn't watch her faced
with a problem like mine and not try to help. I also knew
she would never put her self in that situation. She is to
smart for that.

This week sucked there was really no other way to
describe it. Monday started out normally except for all of
the whispering that always came to a halt when I entered
a room. Joey played the girlfriend role very well, always
holding my hand and giving me chaste kisses whenever
she left my side. She even milked it a little making me
carry her books from class to class. I didn't mind it; it
was reassuring having her there with me all the time. I'd
never had a girlfriend before and I really liked doing things
for her, even if the relationship was fake.

Joey went to her meeting with Tamara Monday afternoon,
we were supposed to meet to study after but Joey never
showed. Come Tuesday morning everything between us
had changed. While most people wouldn't notice the
subtle changes in our relationship, to me it felt like she
was suddenly a stranger. She was with me more, but she
managed to talk to me less. A lot less, at least about
things that mattered. Before all of our conversations had
felt personal…private, now they consisted mainly of small
talk. She felt so distant. When I left her Wednesday for
my meeting with Tamara she wouldn't even look at me.
She gave no response when I said goodbye. I knew I was
in trouble. I wouldn't have gone if I didn't have to. It was
my weekly scholarship meeting. Wednesday at lunch was
the only time Tamara had open when I'd gone to
reschedule it.

Since it was during lunch we were limited to one hour. We
reviewed my grades and attendance and then spent the
last half hour talking about what had happened at the
dance. It was kind of a relief that there was no time for
sex. However the conversation did not go well. Tamara
started out telling me that no complaints had been filed
against her. She figured either no one believed Drue, or
no one had acted on it. We talked for a while about ways
to stop the charade with Joey, but both came to the
conclusion that it was safer if it carried on for a while.
She than asked me why my meeting had been
rescheduled. When I explained that Joey and I were going
to New York together for the weekend, things went bad.

"What? You're going away for the weekend with her?"
Tamara's voice was as angry as I'd ever heard it.

" Well yes, but I didn't explain it well. We're not going
alone. Jack and Jen are going with us. Besides it'll look
convincing to everyone else, especially Drue."

"So you're going away for a weekend with her to
convince Drue? Wouldn't that be better accomplished
here, in front of his face?"

"Tammy, I need a break from this place. You weren't
there that night when he was attacking me. You don't
have to walk down the halls and suffer through the stares
and whispers. I need to go away, even if it is only for a
few days."

"Fine Pacey, but I really think we need to talk about you
and Ms. Potter first. I don't like how close you are."

"She's my friend Tamara, probably the best friend I've
every had."

"That's it, she is only a friend? I'm not sure she feels the
same. Pacey, I've been thinking about changing your
study partner and your class schedule. It'll give you some
space from each other. I think it'll work out best for
everyone."

"What? Why would you think that? Joey and I work great
together. I don't want a schedule change. No, the
answer is no."

"There wasn't a question Pacey, at least not one for you
to decide. This is my decision, and I'll do what I think is
best for you."

"For me or for you? I can tell you what's best for me, it is
Joey."

"What's that supposed to mean? Pacey I'm not sixteen
anymore, I'm not going to play stupid childish games with
you. When we started this there was one unspoken rule.
You don't tell anyone. You broke that rule when you told
her. So now there are going to be more obvious spoken
rules for you to follow."

"I didn't really tell her. I mean, I told her but she had no
idea it was you. She thought it was another student,
until Drue came along."

"Well that actually makes me feel a little better. Maybe
you aren't as clueless to our situation as I thought you
were. Anyway here are the new rules Pacey. First off
what happens between us, stays between us. I don't
want Ms. Potter any more involved in our relationship
than she has to be. Secondly Pacey, I won't have you
cheating on me. I understand the hand holding and small
kisses for the other student's benefit, but nothing and I
do mean nothing beyond that. I won't be treated like the
third wheel in this situation Pacey. I come first. And I
really think you need to spend as little time alone with her
as possible. At some point this little charade you have
going with her, it's going to end. It's better to start
cutting ties now. The break up isn't going to be
convincing if you stay as close as you are afterwards."

"She's important to me Tamara. I won't let go of our
closeness."

"Not even if that's what is best for her? You know I have
been thinking about that night. Don't you think it is
strange; that the answer she came up with to solve your
problem was to pretend to be your girlfriend. Why didn't
she just go to the dance with Drue? Why get him all
upset? I think she wanted him to attack you. It put her in
a great position. She got to come off as the hero. Even
though the whole situation was her fault. She made it all
happen, than swooped in to save you. I don't think it was
quick thinking on her part, I think being you girlfriend is
what she wanted. She is trying to cause problems for us.
If your smart Pacey, you'll put her in her place before this
gets out of hand. You need to tell her that you'll never
want her like you want me. You know, there is an even
easier way out of this. I could take away her scholarship
and send her home." The last sentence hung in the air
between us. The threat was evident, not only in her
words but also in her voice.

"Tamara, you won't take anything away from Joey. I
mean it. You said it earlier, what happens between us
stays between us. Whether we stay together or not has
nothing to do with her. It has to do with us. If you are
upset with a situation you and I will deal with it. Just
leave her out of it. I actually have a question about the
rules. You said you wouldn't be cheated on. Does that
rule go both ways? Are you and I exclusive?"

"Pacey, my situation is different that yours. Your sixteen,
dating isn't serious to you. I'm thirty-six years old Pacey,
I want to get married. Have a family, and time is not on
my side anymore. You and I both know that we aren't
destined to be together forever. I can't just give up on
trying to find that person for me. I'm sorry if that hurts
you."

"It doesn't hurt me. It pisses me off. You want me all to
yourself, but you want me to be okay with sharing you. Is
that right?" As soon as I said the words, the irony hit me.
She wanted from me what I wanted from Joey. Closing
my eyes I really thought about my relationship with Joey.
All she had done for me, and how little she had asked for
in return. Something else started to make sense right
then, she had changed after her meeting with Tamara.
"What did you say to Joey during her meeting with you
Monday?"

"Nothing that wasn't true. I was trying to help. Prepare
her for your eventually break up. She needed to
understand this was all just a game to help me. I mean
you're just using her to protect me right? I didn't want
her to get her hopes up." I sat there in shocked silence. I
didn't even have a response for that. Joey had sacrificed
her self to save Tamara and me, and this was what she
got in return? "Don't look at me like that Pacey. I wasn't
that harsh with her. I explained it to her with kid gloves,
really I did. Don't be angry with me, okay? I promise I'll
make it up to you next Saturday." She leaned over and
kissed me. Her eyes were pleading with me. I knew she
was jealous of Joey. She had acted irrationally. I had to
go and fix things with Joey. Then I would deal with
Tamara.

I thought about going to Jo and telling her nothing sexual
had happened, but than I realized that if I did that she
would be expecting a similar report next time. I didn't
want to have to report to her every week, especially if
next time wasn't so innocent. Besides, Tamara was right
that I shouldn't give her false hope.

I was hurrying to that I wouldn't be late for study hall,
turning into the room I headed to our regular table. She
wasn't there. We always sat there. I had expected her to
be there, waiting for me. Scanning the room I finally
found her at a table across the room. It wasn't until I got
closer that I noticed she wasn't alone. Sitting a lot to
close to her was Charlie Todd. Charlie was a year older
than us, and the Casanova of the school. He had a lot of
girlfriends, mainly because he always seemed to have two
or three of them at a time. He wasn't a very smooth
Casanova. He generally got caught. For some reason
though, girls kept going out with him. Getting closer I
watched as he stroked Joey's arm. He kept smiling at her
and pointing at something in her book. Every time she
would turn her attention to her book, his eyes would run
up and down her body. I could feel my blood start to boil.
He had no right looking at her like that. She is my
girlfriend now. The whole school knew that. It tried to
convince myself that I was watching out for my friend.
That may not have been exactly true.

"Hey Babe." I stepped forward not able to take anymore.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and gave her a
firm kiss on the mouth. "Why are you sitting over here?"

She seemed to be gathering her thoughts before she
answered. She was obviously surprised to see me. "I
didn't think you would be in study hall today. What with
all you had going on. Pacey do you know Charlie? He is
the history tutor." Hearing her describe him that way
made me feel better, until I looked at him. A smirk played
in his eyes. He seemed to be baiting me. His hand was
still resting on Joey's arm.

"Yeah, I know Charlie. He lives across the hall from me."

"So Pacey, you finally got yourself a girlfriend huh? A
smart one too." Charlie ended his praise by winking at
Joey and giving her arm a squeeze.

"Charlie, I'm sure you don't mean that. I keep mixing up all
these dates, you must think I'm an idiot." Joey blushed at
the older boy.

"You Joey are one of the smartest girls I have met. And
anytime you have trouble with history you just let me
know. It's my best subject, and you I would be willing to
help day or night." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively
at Joey. I watched helplessly as she giggled in response.
Joey, my Joey giggled. Let's forget about him totally
stealing my eyebrow move, he was flirting with her right
in front of me and all she does is giggle in response.
Where is the smart-ass girl that I met in January?

"Come on Jo." I grabbed her hand and pulled her to her
feet.

"Pacey, what is wrong with you?" The sudden movement
had obviously startled her.

"Nothing I just redid my history notes on Sunday. I made
a copy for you, so I could help you. I am your study
partner. You're supposed to come to me first, not the
tutors." Not until I was finished did I notice how harsh my
voice was. I had just scolded her in public. I felt the
shame wash over me, even before I saw the anger in her
eyes.

"I really didn't think you would be here today Pacey! Your
meetings usually run long remember. I wouldn't have
gotten a tutor if I knew you were coming. So, are you
done throwing this tantrum? Because really Pacey,
jealousy doesn't suit you." I could actually feel the
coldness in her voice. I shivered in response to her voice
and the icy stare she was giving me. Joey had never
spoken to me like that before. Before I had a chance to
apologize Charlie spoke up.

"You know Pacey, if I had a girlfriend as amazing and
beautiful as this girl, I would treat her a whole lot better
than that." I stood frozen as Charlie gently squeezed her
arm then winked at Joey again before walking off.

Everything in me was telling me to go after him, teach
him a lesson. One look at Joey made me realize that was
not in my best interest. As my apology finally came I
hung my head down. "I'm sorry Jo, I was totally out of
line. I…I don't know what made me act that way." I was
lying through my teeth. Of course I knew what made me
act that way. Unfortunately Joey knew too, and she was
pissed. Not a good combination. She decided to call me
on my lie.

"Bullshit Pacey! You know exactly why you acted that
way, and so do I. I'm your girlfriend, not your property.
God forbid some guy look at me, or talk to me for to long
without your permission. Why don't you just pee on me
right now, right here in front of everyone. Go ahead
Pacey. Mark your territory, just in case anyone doesn't
know that I belong to you." I could see how angry she
was, but there was no way I was letting that statement
get away from me. Somehow an angry Joey Potter is
even more beautiful that normal. I didn't know that was
possible. It was probably the fire burning in her eyes. The
kiss from Saturday night started playing through my mind
again and I answered her.

"You want me to pee on you here Jo, in public? That's
something I generally try to do in private, by myself. But
for you, I could try. I would do just about anything for
you. Anyway you reeking of urine probably would help to
keep other guys away." I could see the internal battle
going on as she tried not to smile at me.

"Bite me, Jailbait." She finally answered me as she flipped
her hair and headed over to our normal table. Since she
left all of her books behind I gathered everything up and
followed behind her. The bell rang signaling the end of
class just as I reached her side.

"Saved by the bell Witter." Her anger had defiantly
decreased, but her voice remained a little chilly. I couldn't
stand the thought of her being angry with me, so I
grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. My heart started
racing at having her so close. I hadn't felt her body
against mine since Saturday night. She hesitated for only
a minute before wrapping her arms around me in
response.

"I'm truly sorry Joey. How about we study together after
class. We can go to my room. I promise I'll catch you up
in history. Please let me make this up to you. Please."
She looked up into my eyes; I had never seen her look so
breakable. She blinked once and the look was gone,
replace with a blank expression. She nodded at me before
answering.

"Okay Pace. We better get to class though, we don't
want your other girlfriend after us for tardiness." I
thought her voice held a hint of sadness, but she kept
her eyes locked firmly on the ground. Hiding all her
emotion from me.

My last two classes went by quickly. Before I knew it I
was holding Jo's hand as we walked to my room. The
walls I had felt between us the last few days were back,
maybe higher than ever. Whatever crack I had caused
during study hall had been fixed.

"So Jo, how have you been?"

"Fine."

"How are your classes going?"

"Good."

"Have you talked to Bessie lately?"

"Uh huh."

This is pretty much how our conversations had gone this
week. I asked questions trying to start conversations.
She gave one-syllable answers trying to avoid them. She
just wasn't talking to me like she used to.

"Did you get permission to go this weekend?"

"Yeah."

Entering my room I decided it was time to fix this. "Potter
are we okay?"

"We're fine Pacey."

"Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you still
angry about early in study hall?"

"I'm not angry Pacey. There is something I want to talk
about, history." With that she sat down at my desk and
started pulling out her books. Nodding at her more in
defeat that reply, I sat down on my bed next to the
desk. I knew this was my fault. She had told me
Valentines night that things with Tamara changed our
relationship. I just hadn't anticipated how much. Deciding
I wasn't ready to give up I focused back on the one time
during the last week that she had really spoken to me.

"Jo, I'm really sorry about what happened in the library
today."

She sighed in return before responding. "It's fine Pace. I
really did think you would be busy with Ms. Jacobs and
not make it to study hall. If I had known you were coming
I wouldn't have gotten a tutor. Can we drop this now?"

That answer was more than one syllable; hey it was even
more than one sentence. I was pushing on. "I was out of
line Potter, it wasn't in any way your fault."

"Well," she smiled at me. That was a good sign. "You
might not have been as out of line as I led you to
believe."

"What?"

"Pretty much from that moment he, Charlie, set down to
help me he had been hitting on me. He asked me out
twice, and he kept rubbing my arm." As she spoke I could
feel my anger resurfacing, but even stronger than that I
could feel fear. It was the fear of losing her. "I was just
about to blow him off myself, but then you came over
and made and ass of yourself. I guess it made me mad
that you had just come from having sex with Ms. Jacobs
and I wasn't 'allowed' to speak to a tutor." Her words hurt
me. They cut me far deeper than I thought possible. The
worst thing was, she had a point. "You know you really
don't have to worry about Charlie. He's not my type.
Besides he only likes me because I have a boyfriend. I'm a
challenge for him. Guys are weird that way. You know
since we declared out commitment to each other, I've
been asked out by four different guys. They just keep
showing up, at my dorm room or waiting for me outside
art class. It's really strange."

"What? Who are these guys?" I had moved beyond being
afraid. I was terrified, and angry, and jealous. I haven't
treated her well; it would be so easy for some one to
take her away from me.

"It doesn't matter Pace." She rolled her eyes at me in
that adorable way that only she can do. "I didn't know
any of them very well. Once we end this fake relationship
they'll all lose interest again." She sighed; it was the
saddest noise I had ever heard. She continued on in a
much softer voice. "It's been kind of nice, you know.
Having guys look at me that way. It doesn't happen to
me very often. It's felt good." Joey looked down, so I
could barely see the blush as it rose up her cheeks.

"You know there might be another explanation, besides
having a boyfriend. They could've seen you in that dress
on Saturday. You looked amazing in it. I caught guys
staring at you all night. They usually were so caught up
in you they didn't even bother looking ashamed with your
date staring them down."

"Pace, you're so full of it. I didn't notice that."

"You never do Jo." I took her hand in mine rubbing it
softly as the truth of my words hit me. She has no idea
how beautiful she is. "It happens every week at those
dances. You always look great. Last week was different
though. You not only looked great, you also looked
umm…mature."

"Mature?"

"Yeah grown up, you know like a woman." Why didn't I
just say sexy, I meant sexy. Why was I so nervous to let
her know I saw her that way? "Every guy in that room
wanted to be me Potter. I think for a minute even Jack
would've traded me places. "

"Jack, no way! I don't even belong in the same league as
Jen. Guys don't look at me like they look at her."

"Joey, you're so cute when you're delusional." Smiling at
her I reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear.
She went rigid at the motion. She looked down as if
noticing for the first time that I was holding her hand,
and pulled it away from me. She pulled back to that place
where she had been all week. The wall was built back up
between us.

"So where are your notes Pacey?"

"My…my notes." Her voice had lost all of its warmth. She
was all business again.

"Yes, your notes for history? I thought you said that you
made me a copy."

"Oh yeah, I did." Digging through my desk I found her
copy. After explaining to her the layout of the notes I
was left with nothing to do but study her as she studied
them. She sat back in my chair chewing on her pen. Her
dark hair fell in waves around her face, the piece I had
just tucked away working itself free again. Her eyes
focused intensely on the paper and seemed to dance
between a gray and a green color. She is prefect.
Beautiful. It wasn't really a surprise, all the guys asking
her out. If anything I was surprised it hadn't started
sooner. A guilty feeling settled over me as I realized I
wasn't really worried. I knew she would be loyal to me, to
us. She would give up the chance to date these guys to
protect our fake relationship. Knowing that about her
made her seem even more perfect. It also made me sick
inside, knowing I wasn't giving the same loyalty to her. I
needed to end things with Tamara. The answer was so
obvious and so clear. I couldn't keep letting things
happen with her. Not knowing how my feelings for Joey
were growing.

That decision being made, I had to make a harder one. I
knew that once I ended things with Tamara, I also had to
break up with Joey. I can't hold her to a fake relationship,
especially one that she only got into to protect her
friend. It was more than that though. I had done nothing
to deserve Joey. I hadn't pursued her; I hadn't romanced
her or even treated her with the respect she deserves. I
had to let her go, and then I would have to fight to win
her back. A week from Saturday is my next meeting with
Tamara; I'll end everything then. I could feel the
excitement growing inside me, the thought of really being
with Joey dancing in my head.

Chapter 12-A - Tripping - Joey's P.O.V.

The train station was bustling with people. Weekend trips
to New York or Boston were fairly common and caused
the crowd that surrounded us. I love crowds, the feeling
that you're part of something so large and yet you
manage to be invisible to almost everyone. I love
watching people. My three friends stood close to me, so
we wouldn't lose track of each other. In two months they
had become such a huge part of who I am. Until I got
here I didn't know that was possible. I thought that my
whole self depended on people who had known me
forever. I cared for each one of my friends so much, and
they fill such different places in my life. Jen was by far
the closest girlfriend I've ever had. I never really
appreciated the importance of girlfriends before. I can tell
her anything, so many things that I never dared talked to
Dawson about. Jack has managed to take on the role of
my older brother. He always seemed to be looking out for
me, even with Pacey…or maybe especially with Pacey he
seemed overprotective. Since the whole news of Ms.
Jacobs came out, these two had been my rocks. I don't
know what I would have done with out them. They of
course knew the truth, all of it. They knew about the
fake relationship and that led to them knowing, without
asking, the truth about Pacey.

Which leads me to the last member of our little circle.
What can I say about him? There are times that I think I
love him, there have also been times I want to hate him.
I can't make myself do it. Bessie has always said that the
line between love and hate is very thin. She also said
that hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is. I
never really understood these sayings before. I do now.
No matter what, good or bad, I always have strong
feelings for Pacey. I can't turn them off. In a moments
notice though they can change. I just don't understand
how the same boy that I have adored for months now,
could be so unknown to me.

There are times he looks at me and I feel like his whole
world. My heart beats faster, and I can't wipe the smile
of my face. Then there are times that I can tell he is
thinking of her, in those moments I feel like less than
nothing. It was on of these moments that brought me to
the decision that Pacey and I need space. A part of me
thinks that if I am ever going to stop loving him, I have to
learn indifference. Pulling away from him had been harder
than I thought. We spend too much time together. Jen
had suggested that he shouldn't go with us this weekend.
I couldn't leave him behind; I know he needs an escape. I
spent so much time building walls between us, trying to
protect myself. I tried to distance myself from him; he
seemed to fight just as hard to keep us close. Sometimes
he would win the battle and the walls I had built would
crumble. Until he would touch me. His touch and all the
electricity it holds are a constant reminder to me of why
the walls are necessary. Whenever he holds my hand or
tucks my hair behind my ear, I realize in that touch how
easy it would be to lose myself in him. Every time that I
begin to feel like I am falling I pull back harder and further
than I was before. It is my only defense. This last week
has been an emotional roller coaster, one that began with
my meeting with Ms. Jacobs.

Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't it have been the
English teacher? Someone I don't have to meet with
weekly on a one on one basis. Someone I don't depend
on for my success. Sitting in that room alone with her
had been one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I
haven't been able to hate Pacey, Ms. Jacobs I can hate.
In fact I do! She knows it too. She feels the same way
about me. Where I was polite and just didn't mention our
situation she wouldn't stop talking about it. I heard all
about how great her and Pacey are together. How much
he needs and wants her. And of course how hard he
worked pursuing her. Oh and lets not forget the part
about how insignificant I am in the scheme of things.

I wonder if Pacey realizes it yet? Does he know I am
preparing myself for when it is over? For when he lets go
of me, and returns to her. If I learned anything in my
meeting with her it's that when this charade ends things
won't go back to the way they were. I don't think she
wants me anywhere near Pacey, not even as a friend.

"Hey Joey, here is our train." The happiness in my
roommates voice pulled me out of my sad thoughts.

"Great Jen."

"Here Jo, I'll get your bags for you." Pacey smiled his
amazing smile. I feel Pacey's arm around my shoulder, his
touch once again distracting me from his words.

"Come on Joey." Jen grabbed my hand pulling me on
board. "My dad got us a sleeping car, he says they are
better, more private. Let's go find it."

Smiling I nod at her, her enthusiasm is contagious.
Arriving at our car I'm not surprised to see two couches.
It's my luck. Jen claims one for her and Jack, leaving the
other empty for Pacey and I.

"What all are we doing this weekend Jen?" I have to let
go of the thoughts of Pacey. Think about something else.

"This weekend…hmmm?" Jen pretends to be concentrating
on the question. Really I already know the answer. We
haven't talked about much else this week.

"No next month, of course this weekend. You know all
this time I thought your blonde hair was store bought.
Guess not huh?" In the process of rolling my eyes at her I
missed as she prepared to pounce. She landed on me
right as the car door opened.

"You're going to pay for that Josephine!" Her threat rang
untrue. I couldn't hold in my laughter as Jack pulled her
off of me, arms and legs flying in every direction.

"Honey, sweetie, calm down. Why are you trying to maim
your best friend?" Jack's question slipped out with his
laughter. Jen's squirming seemed to be paying off though
as an arm escaped his grasp.

"Hey Jack, I'm going to go find me something to drink.
See if you can get her under control before I return."
Winking at Jen, my comment seemed to put the dying
fight back in her. She tried to look angry with me but
couldn't keep the laughter from her eyes. Jack through
me a nasty look though, as I escaped out the door, right
into Pacey's arms.

"Where you off to Jo?" His voice was husky, probably from
the cold outside. He moved forward trapping me between
the wall and him, his arms wrapped around me and his
face moved closer. For a moment I thought he was going
to kiss me. But instead he tightened the hug and buried
his cold nose into my neck.

"I'm going to get a drink while Jack calms Jen down. Do
you know what direction the food is?" Pacey nodded and
took my hand pulling me towards the front of the train.

"Why is does Jen needed calming?" I giggled in response
and just shook my head. His eyes seemed to light up as
he looked at me. "Joey…what have you done?"

"Nothing really, I was just playing with her. She's not
really mad. I like to see her all riled up, that's all. She
knows I don't mean it."

"Joey, I've missed you."

"Missed me…how could you miss me? We spend almost
every waking moment together." His eyes started
pleading with me, even before his explanation.

"I miss how we were Potter. I miss messing around with
you. You've seemed so distant lately." He could tell.

"Pacey I'm going to tell you something, you're probably
not going to like it. I don't feel close to you. I can't get
out of my mind that you aren't the person I thought you
were. I thought I knew you so well, and I didn't. I had no
idea what, or who, was important to you. Pacey, I let
myself believe that I was more important to you than I
am. I let you be more important to me than you should
be. I am in the process of fixing my mistakes. If you care
about me, you'll support me in this. Don't make it harder
than it already is." He wouldn't look at me. I knew that
my words would hurt him, but they had to be said, for my
own sanity. "Hey Pace, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure Jo, anything."

"Can you go back to our car, and tell Jen where I am? I
need to ask her something." He finally looked up at me
then, sadness had turned his eyes a pale shade of blue.

"Yeah no problem. Jo, do you want me to stay away from
you this weekend? If it's what you want I will." His voice
sounded flat…lifeless.

"No Pacey, of course not. We can still hang out together,
maybe it would be better if we didn't spend a lot of alone
time. I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is
anymore." He looked at me defeated. Nodding he started
back the way we had come. What is the right answer? Do
I let him go? Everything in me was telling me to fight for
him. How do I fight for someone that doesn't want me? I
sat down at one of the small booths and waited for Jen,
hoping she would have the answers.

"Hey brat. You called?" Jen looked at me the ever-present
sparkle in her eye.

"Hey, sorry about earlier. You know I was kidding right?
I've known all along that you're a blond through and
through."

"Joey! That's a sad sad apology! Was that a compliment
or an insult?"

"Uhh…yes?" She finally smiled at me. "Jen, I'm having
problems. Fix them?" Sticking my bottom lip out at her
she winked at me before copying my pout.

"What's wrong sweetie? Wait no let me guess. Pacey? Or
have you actually developed a new different problem?"

"Nope, same problem." I mumbled it under my breath,
trying to look ashamed. "I can't help what I feel Jen. I
don't really think you can fix it though." Frustrated with
myself I let out a huff as I laid my head in my arms on the
table. "Let's talk about something else. Tell me again
what we're doing this weekend. Please?"

"Joey, Joey, Joey, what am I going to do with you? Okay
we're just going to go to my parents tonight, get settled,
probably order take out. Tomorrow we are going to pay a
visit to Seth…"

"Seth? You've never mentioned him before."

"Oh, he is a friend of mine. He makes a very convincing
fake ID. If we're going to go clubbing tomorrow night
you're going to need one. Anyway, after Seth's we're
going to split up. My dad got the boys tickets to a Knicks
game, so while they're there we're going shopping."

"Shopping for what?"

"You don't really need a for what Joey. This is New York!
But actually we do have a purpose. You and I need
clubbing clothes. Well more you than me!"

"I can't just wear my normal clothes?"

"Have I taught you nothing in our time together Jo? You
need certain clothes for certain events! Clubbing clothes
need to be bright, shiny, and sexy, you know eye
catching. Your wardrobe, while nice, really doesn't fit in
any of those categories."

"Oh…I see, another game of dress up Joey. We all saw
how well that went last time!"

"Hey it did go well! You looked good. It's not my fault
Pacey is an idiot who has a mother complex. Besides
when I am done with you, you're going to look wicked
hot!

"Hmmm….Joey Potter and wicked hot there are two
phrases that nobody expected to see linked together. Jen
did you just roll your eyes at me? How very Joey-esque!"

"Sweetie, we are having fun this weekend, you and me. If
you start feeling like having Pacey around is dragging you
down, you let me know okay? The weirdness between
you two isn't going to cost us our fun time." Smiling I
nodded at my friend, happy to have her here with me.

~~~~~~~~~next day~~~~~~~~

Okay it's official, I love New York City! It's already nearly
six; I didn't know a day could go by so fast! I'd had so
much fun. Jen was putting the finishing touches on
'wicked hot Joey' and we were all going out to dinner at
the corner café and then to the club. I can't believe I'm
wearing this outfit; 'wicked hot Joey' looks a little like a
slut. And for some reason that I can't explain, it doesn't
bother me at all. Jen had put me in a short jean skirt that
was missing the bottom hem so it looks frayed, knee high
black boots, and a light blue halter-top that doesn't even
come close to covering my belly button. Oh did I mention
that the shirt is shiny, Jen insisted that shininess is a
necessity. My hair she left long and straight and you
guessed it… shiny. The only jewelry I had on was the
compass from Pacey, and a pair of huge hoop earrings.
Jen was dressed in a pair of black leather pants, boots
and a bright red shirt that would probably be called a
tube top if not for the small red straps holding it up. Her
hair was falling in soft curls around her face. We left her
room to receive the big reaction from the boys, to find
only Pacey sitting on the couch.

"Wow! What have you done with my Joey, Jen?" Pacey
eyes fixed upon me. He shot a quick glance at Jen, told
her she looked nice and then focused back at me. His
gaze didn't waver. Instead of feeling embarrassed I felt
myself standing straighter and appreciating the look he
was giving me.

"Pace, just so you know she isn't your Joey. Not tonight.
She'll have fun, turn heads, and dance with anyone who
asks. We made a pact right Jo?"

"Right Jen. But don't worry Pace, if you listen carefully to
the wording of the pact, if you ask me to dance I have
to. This could totally be used to your advantage." If
Pacey is going to stand there looking at me like that,
then I'm going to flirt with him. No apologizes to the Mrs.
either.

"Where's Jack?" Jen asked

"Uh…he's in your dad's study. He went in there about an
hour ago to make a phone call."

"Oh okay, I'll go get him and we can go eat." Jen
disappeared in the direction of the study.

"So you're going to dance with anyone who asks huh?"
Pacey's eyes remained glued on me as he moved to my
side. Reaching in his pocket he pulled out the T.V. remote
control. "Did you know Jen has a satellite dish?"

"Uh no." I answered not really sure where this
conversation was going.

"Yeah, there are like a hundred channels that are just
radio." To prove his point he turned the T.V. on and
flipped through the channels until he found one playing a
slow song. "Can I have this dance Potter?" My heart
began to pound as he wrapped his arms around me and
pulled me close. He looked good, in a deep green sweater
and jeans. As he pulled me close his smell invaded my
senses and the fluttering in my stomach began. His hand
moved up my back and I felt his fingers running through
my hair, pulling ever so slightly as he came to the ends.

"Excuse me, am I interrupting something?" Jen stood
studying us a look of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Nope, we're just passing the time till you're ready to go.
Please tell me it's soon though, I'm starving!" Pacey's
comment was breezy, but his eyes held mine with a heat
I'd never seen before.

"Well actually, it looks like Jack will be a little while. Why
don't you two go down to the café and get a table. We'll
meet you there. With any luck you'll just be getting
seated, the wait can be a bitch on Saturday's."

"Okay we'll see you then." Pacey smiled as he took me
hand and led me out, stopping only a moment at the door
to help me with my coat. "Here we are, alone again. You
can't escape me, can you?"

"You know what Witter, right now, I don't want to."
Entering the elevator he turned me towards him and did
up my coat for me telling me in a hushed voice that he
didn't want me to get cold. Smiling as the zipper reached
the top he kept his hand moving upwards. His soft finger
ran along my face tracing my jawbone to my chin. He
stopped then looking me straight in the eye as he began
to trace my lips. The elevator bell sounded through the
silence announcing our arrival at the lobby. The magic of
the moment slipped away as a young girl stood waiting
for us to exit a glare on her face.

It was a short walk to the café, Pacey continued holding
my hand, for the first time all week it didn't bother me. It
felt good, having him so close. The hostess took our
names and Pacey went to check our coats. As he
returned he placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Are you cold? We could go sit at the bar until our table is
ready. It's a little bit…" Pacey sentence was cut off mid
way, by the last voices I expected to hear.

"Joey Potter?" Turning to face them I was suddenly self-
conscious of my outfit.

"Dawson, Mr. and Mrs. Leery. Wow, fancy meeting you
here." I nodded a hello as I began to fidget with my shirt.
Tugging lightly on it I prayed silently that it would
suddenly grow two more inches. I could feel Dawson's
critical eyes on me. He was inspecting me head to toe.
Not sure what to say or do I stood there waiting for
someone to say something. Pacey's arms enveloped me
from behind, successfully covering my bare stomach. Mr.
and Mrs. Leery excused themselves.

"Who are you?" Dawson spat out the question; the
bluntness of it seemed to catch Pacey off guard.

"I'm Pacey Witter. So you're Dawson huh? I've heard a lot
about you." Pacey's voice was calm and friendly.

"Really that's strange, I haven't heard anything about
you." I felt Dawson's glare shift to me.

"Well Dawson, that's probably because we haven't spoken
in two months."

"Whose fault is that Joey? You left without saying good
bye."

"I wrote you a letter. I explained everything Dawson. You
could've written me back, or gotten my number from
Bessie."

"Uh Pacey, is that your name? Could you leave us alone
for a minute?" Dawson meant the words to be
intimidating; I could see by his eyes that Pacey wasn't
going anywhere.

"Actually, I think I'll stay here with Joey. She is my
date." Dawson's eyes grew with the use of the word
date.

"Look I don't know who you are to Joey, but I'm her best
friend. I haven't seen her in two months, I have things I
need to say to her." Seeing that Dawson wasn't going to
drop this I turned to Pacey and asked him to wait for me
at the bar.

"If he says anything you don't like, you let me know Jo.
I'll be sitting right there." He pointed at a place at the
bar. "If you need me just wave." He placed another soft
kiss on my forehead before giving Dawson a dirty look and
moving away.

"Wow, he's a real charmer. You sure know how to pick
them Jo." Dawson watched until Pacey set down before
starting again. "What are you wearing Joey? It's not really
you."

"I happen to like my outfit Dawson. I'm going clubbing
later with friends. It's very appropriate."

"Yeah if you plan on funding the evening by selling
yourself." Jerk! I've had enough of this.

"Well it was good seeing you Dawson." I started to walk
towards Pacey as Dawson grabbed my arm.

"Wait Joey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just surprised
to see you here, dressed like that. You've changed so
much. I've really missed you. Haven't you missed me?"

"Of course I have Dawson. Although I missed you a whole
lot more before you began talking tonight."

"Joey this school thing, I know you said it was a good
opportunity, but aren't you ready to come home now? I
need you. I broke up with Jessica, and I didn't have
anyone to talk to about it."

"She's not leaving school!" Pacey's voice surprised me. His
eyes were filled with worry.

"No one asked for your opinion. This is about Joey and I."

"Really cause it sounds to me like it's only about you. You
and what you need, I didn't hear Jo's wants or needs
mentioned once."

"Pacey it's okay. Calm down. Dawson, maybe we should
talk another time. I'm on a date." Dawson's eyes grew
wide with disbelief. I had probably never told him no
before. Well I use to tell him no all the time, but then he
would whine and beg until I changed my mind.

"Jo, our table is ready." Nodding at him, I turned back to
Dawson determined to end this conversation.

"Joey, listen I'm sorry. Could we meet tomorrow for lunch?
Catch up?"

"Yeah sure Dawson, we have tickets to a play, so it will
have to be early."

"You're going out with him again tomorrow?"

"Dawson I came to New York with Pacey. My whole
weekend is planned with him."

"Are you staying with him?"

"Does it matter Dawson? Do you want to meet for lunch
or not?"

"Yeah, how about I meet you here tomorrow around
eleven? Is that okay?"

"I'll see you then." I walked off towards Pacey who was
waiting for me at the hostess stand. Dinner was good, I
spent it mostly distracted. Why had I agreed to meet
Dawson again? I worried about that and the fact that
Jack and Jen never showed. I ordered them each a
sandwich to go and we headed back to the apartment.

"So you're meeting him again tomorrow huh?" Pacey's
good mood had changed since our run in with Dawson. "I
don't like the way he talks to you Jo. It felt like he
thought he owned you."

"It's just Dawson, you get used to him after a while." As
we entered into Jen's apartment, I could hear her
screaming at someone. She raced down the stairs tears
just starting to fall.

"Jen, Jen are you okay?" I let her fall into my arms; I'd
never seen her this way. Jack came running down a
moment later.

"Jen, I'm sorry I just lost track of time. I never meant to
be rude to you."

"Jack you spent the last three hours talking to your ex-
girlfriend, the love of your life. You kept calling her
sweetie and baby, I heard you. Joey and I are going out.
We are going to have fun, and we are going to find guys
who appreciate us and feel lucky to have us. Not
someone who would throw a really good relationship away
for an ex, and not someone who would give up a chance
with a girl like Joey to screw someone who is nearing
retirement age. You two suck! I don't want you following
us either. Come on Jo." With that Jen grabbed my hand
and pulled me out the door. "Do you have your fake ID
Jo? Were going to need it! I don't usually go to clubs this
early, but drinks are free before eleven. I'm going to show
you, Joey Potter, how to cut lose."

"Who's the ex Jen?"

"Her name is Kate. She grew up next door to Jack. Jack
has a twin sister Andie, she's in a mental hospital. Kate
was her best friend growing up. The three of them were
this inseparable group. Jack and her have planned on
getting married since they were five. They became
boyfriend and girlfriend about the same time. Anyway
Kate's dad got transferred to New York at the beginning
of freshman year. They decided to break up, date other
people. But they made a promise to each other to go to
the same college, give each other another try then. After
she moved Jack's life went to hell. His brother died in a
car accident while his mom was driving. His mom went
crazy, and then Andie went crazy. His dad didn't think he
could take care of all of them so he sent Jack away to
boarding school."

"Wow, that's some story. And he's been in there talking
to Kate this whole time?"

"Yeah, I knew he would call her once we got here. I just
didn't expect it to take three hours. That's not really it
Joey, you should have heard him talking to her. I even
heard him say he loves her once. How am I supposed to
compete? I'm not going to cry though Joey, not tonight.
Tonight we are getting drunk and having a good time.
Tomorrow I'll cry." Jen stuck her chin out a stubborn look
in her eyes. Arriving at the club we skipped the line of
waiting people and moved right to the bouncer. "Hey
Sean." Jen cooed at him.

"Jenny, I've missed you sweetheart."

"Joey, this is my friend Sean. The hottest gay man I
know!" He was hot too. Short cropped black hair and big
blue eyes, his muscles stretching his shirtsleeves to their
limit.

"Hello Joey. Jen you always surround yourself with the
most beautiful people." Sean winked at me; I could feel
myself blushing at his remark. "Go on in you two, tell the
bartender that your first few rounds are on me."

Chapter 12-B -A New York Night -Pacey's P.O.V.

The door slamming echoed through the house, looking at
Jack I had never seen him so pale. "What just happened?"

"I messed up Pace, bad. I've told you about Kate right?"

"Yeah your best friend/ ex-girlfriend."

"Well she lives here, in Manhattan. I always call her when
I come into town. I just lost track of time, I really didn't
mean to talk to her for that long. I haven't talked to her
since her birthday in September, I…we had a lot of
catching up to do." Jack was sadly shaking his head while
studying the ground.

'So, we're following them right?"

""Of course! Well not actually following them, Jen already
told me what club they are going to. We'll just go and
meet them there."

"Good. Were you really calling Kate sweetie and baby?"

"Sweetie yeah, it's kind of her nickname. See growing up
her dad would only call her 'sweet-pea'. Andie adapted it
to sweets, while I always called her sweetie. I don't
remember calling her baby, but I probably did with out
meaning too. Pace, I can't really explain Kate and I. I'll
tell you this though, it doesn't matter how long it's been
since I've seen or talked to her as soon as I do it's like no
time has passed at all. We always manage to pick up
right where we left off. I told Kate that I love her. I'm
hoping Jen didn't hear that, or if she did that she lets me
explain. I do love Kate; I have for as long as I can
remember. But I'm not in love with her. I didn't know that
until I fell in love with Jen. The emotions are so different.
I don't think it's possible to understand that until you've
experienced them both."

"What does it feel like Jack, being in love?"

"I suppose it's different for everyone. For me it's a
mixture of emotions. Jen she is my…everything. She's my
best friend and my confidante. She's my lover, and my
conscience. Do you know that I actually feel sparks when
she touches me? It doesn't matter how often she
touches me the emotions stay strong. She kisses me and
my heart skips a beat. She knows everything about me
and manages to love me anyway. I feel lucky to have
her, everyday. I hear other guys talk about their
girlfriends, what a burden they are. It shocks me. Andie
was asking my mom once how she would know when she
found the one. My mom told her that you should always
feel lucky to be with them, and they should always feel
lucky to be with you. If one partner really believes that
they can do better than the person they are with, the
relationship will never work. That's how I feel with Jen,
lucky. She's a gift in my life. The best thing that ever
happened to me."

"Do you ever think that she could do better than you?
Deserves better than you?" As I asked Jack I knew the
question wasn't really about him. I felt all those emotions
too.

"Every single day. Do you know what the amazing thing is
Pace? Jen, she wants me. This wonderful, beautiful,
perfect woman wants me. It's not like she doesn't have
other options. She could leave me at any time and have
any number of guys at that school after her, asking her
out. And yet, she stays with me. Do you know what I
look forward to most each week? It's waking up Sunday
morning with her there, in my arms. It's the most intense
feeling. I even sleep better when she's there. It's the
most complete I feel all week. The world and all it's
problems can't touch me in the few moments I get, to lay
there and watch her sleep."

"I think we should go Jack, maybe you should tell Jen all
of that before you lose her."

"I'll bear my soul, if you'll bear yours. Actually I'll bear
mine anyway, I can't imagine my life without Jen. She's
worth to much for me to risk losing her, for anyone." I felt
myself nodding in response to Jack's words. We left,
running through the lobby. Knowing that taking the time
to walk wasn't an option for us. The cab we were in was
inching along. I thought about getting out and running,
looking at Jack he was obviously feeling the same.

"Hey how much further is it?"

"Ten block or so." The cabbie answered as traffic once
again came to a stand still. Jack leaned back, with his
face in his hands.

"What have I done Pacey? What if she won't forgive me?"

"She will Jack, by the time we get there she'll have
calmed down. It'll be okay." I need to get to Joey. Don't
get me wrong; I'm worried about Jack and Jen. I'm just
more worried about Joey. I don't think she has ever drank
before. I don't think doing it for the first time in a New
York nightclub is a good idea. I just hope Jen is taking
care of her. Just like Jack, I can't imagine my life without
Joey. If anything were to happen to her, I don't know
what I would do. The cab finally pulled to a stop in front
of a large warehouse looking building with a line going
around the corner.

"Pace you save us a place in line. I'm going to go see if I
can see them." Jack took off before I could answer. As I
stood in line I took time to notice all of the girls around
me. None were as beautiful as Joey, they all lacked that
sparkle that made her her. Jack came back to quickly,
without saying a word I knew he hadn't found them.

"What if they aren't here Pace? What if Jen went
somewhere else so we couldn't find them? We should
have left when they did and followed them." The fear in
his voice was mirrored in his eyes.

"Jack, Jen used to come here all the time right? Maybe
she knows the door people. Maybe they didn't have to
wait in line. Look you wait here, I'll go talk to the
bouncer." Making my way to the front I finally found the
guy.

"Uh hey, I'm looking for some friends of mine. I was
wondering if you could tell me if you let them in?"

"Look kid, I let hundreds of people in every night. It's a
big club, I don't know everyone."

"I know she used to be a regular. Her name is Jen Lindly.
She's short and blond, pretty. She was with a taller
brunette, Joey."

"Well that must make you Jack?"

"Uh no, Pacey. Are they here?" Turning I saw Jack was
now at my side.

"I'm Jack. Is Jen here?"

"Yeah she is, I just left her actually. I spent my whole
break listening to what you two have been doing to those
beautiful girls. I was also told by my good friend Jen, not
to let you in." I could see Jack searching for words, I also
saw him clenching his fists. Looking back at the bouncer,
I knew that was not a fight Jack wanted.

"I need to go in and see her, I owe her an apology."

"Oh you owe her more than that. You owe her an
explanation. Nobody treats my Jenny badly. Normally I
would listen to her and not let you in, but she really cares
about you. She's miserable in there. Besides, Joey isn't
holding her alcohol well, and there is this weird guy
following her around. He's creeping Jen out. I tried to find
him to throw him out, but I guess once I showed up he
disappeared."

"Is Joey okay?"

"Yeah, Jen's taking care of her. Besides I wouldn't let her
leave with anyone. I just worry about her in there. I can't
watch out for them from here. Go on in guys, last time I
saw them they were at a booth below the balcony."
Moving as quickly as we could we set out to find our girls.
Turns out Jack had a much easier task, we ran into Jen
just inside the door, alone.

"Jack what are you doing here? Pacey, I'm so glad to see
you. I can't find Joey. I went to the bathroom, and when
I came back she was gone. I've looked everywhere. I was
just coming to see if Sean could help me look. She's had
a lot to drink Pacey."

"Don't worry Jen we'll find her." Jack answered. "I'll go
that way, Pacey you go to the right, Jen you go right
down the middle." After about fifteen minutes I finally saw
the familiar dark hair sitting in a corner booth alone.

"Hey Potter, what are you doing hanging out in dark
corners?" When she looked up at me I felt my heart break
at her tear stained face. "Jo, angel, what happened?"

"I lost my shoes Pacey." Pointing down at her feet I saw
that they were bare. She wiggled her toes at me as if to
emphasize her point.

"What happened to your shoes Jo?" I tried not to smile at
my very drunk friend

"I went to dance and they were hurting so I took them
off. Then some girl stepped on my foot, so I wanted my
shoes back. When I came for them they were gone. They
were really nice boots Pace. I miss them. I'm not sure
they like me though, they just left after all. I did tell them
that I would be back for them." She looked at me with
the most forlorn look in her eyes.

"I'm sure they like you Jo, do you want me to go and find
them?"

"Yeah, maybe you should find Jen too, I think she might
be lost." Just then the waiter appeared, I watched as
Joey ordered another drink.

"Jo, maybe you've had enough."

"Pacey, I'm fine. Leave me alone about it okay?"

"Okay Potter, promise me that you'll stay right here." She
nodded at me. I quickly found Jack and Jen and told them
where she was. Finding her shoes was harder. I found
one on the side of the dance floor the other was
nowhere. I returned to the table with the shoe I had
found, Joey was bright eyed watching the dancing. Her
head swung back and forth keeping with the beat. Jack
and Jen seemed lost in their conversation; he was
stroking her face so I figured it was going well. "Here Jo, I
found one of your shoes." I watched as she struggled
trying to get her foot in. Wanting to help I knelt down
beside her to help her put in on.

"Is it a perfect fit Pace?" She giggled at me.

"Yes it is Jo, why do you ask?"

"That means you are my Prince Charming." Her giggling
continued. "You found my glass…um leather slipper…um
boot. Well one of them anyway." From my position, on my
knees, I could clearly see her left hand for the first time.
It was on the bench next to her, clutching the missing
boot.

"Jo, show me your hands." Looking at me her mouth
formed a large smile.

"Okay, are you going to do magic? I love magic." As she
pulled her hand from beneath the table with the boot her
eyes went wide. "Did you make my other boot appear
Pacey?"

"Yes, yes I did Jo. You're my friend, I would do anything
for you."

"Will you teach me how to do that?"

"Sorry Potter, it was a one time only trick." Her face fell
with my answer. "Do you want to dance with me?" Her
face lit back up as she put her hand out to me.

"Pacey, do you know that you and Jack aren't supposed
to be here?"

"Yeah Jo, I know. I thought maybe you missed me, so I
came anyway."

"I'm glad you came Pace, I did miss you. I'm glad Jack
came too, I hope those kids can work it out."

"How could you miss me Jo? We're always together." I
repeated the question she had asked me yesterday.

"I've missed dancing with you Pace. Don't tell Ms. Jacobs,
but I'm glad she's not here. It's not as much fun with her
watching us." She whispered her secret to me.

"I'm glad she's not here too Jo."

"Really?"

"Really." I had never been very good at fast dancing, but
with Joey it was easy. I was still happy though when a
slow song finally came on and I could pull her into my
arms. She let her body melt against mine; she managed
to feel closer than ever. Our bodies fit together. She
smiled up at me, happiness played in her sea green eyes.

"Hey Pace." The softness in her voice awakened
something in me. She moved her hands, letting them run
up and down my arms. She never stopped looking me in
the eye.

"Hey Joey." Looking down at her mouth I watched as her
tongue snuck out wetting her lips. She pouted her lips
out slightly. I felt a familiar heat race to my center as my
body reacted to her subtle movements. Unable to stop
myself I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss her. It was
like the first time I kissed her. The spark was there. My
heart pounded in my chest as her arms wrapped tightly
around my neck. I ran my tongue softly against the seam
of her lips asking permission to enter. She seemed to
hesitate for only a moment before she opened her mouth
to me. The sweetness of her taste filled me. It was just
as I remembered it and yet totally different. The flavor
that was uniquely her was there, but stronger still was
the bitterness of the alcohol. I began to pull away from
her unsure that she even knew what she was doing. Her
eyes were searching mine. Looking for answers, looking
for my motive. "I'm sorry Jo. I…I guess I got lost in the
moment."

"Don't apologize Pacey, it was nice. Don't worry either, I
won't tell Ms. Jacobs about it. I know it was nothing." Her
eyes turned sad again. Jack's words from earlier ran
through my head. 'Do you know what the amazing thing is
Pacey? This wonderful, beautiful, perfect woman wants
me.'

"I'm not worried about Tamara, Jo. And the kiss, it wasn't
nothing. It could never be nothing; not between us." She
nodded at me with understanding I don't deserve.

"Pacey, I'm getting tired."

"Do you want to go sit down?" I couldn't keep the
concern from my voice. She nodded at me before heading
back to the table with Jack and Jen. Sitting down I
watched as she ordered two more drinks and drank one
right after the other. After a few minutes she turned to
me again.

"Pacey, I'm ready to go home. Will you take me?"

"Of course Jo." Turning to Jen I asked if they wanted to
go with us. Smiling Jen explained that they were going to
stay a little longer. So after saying our goodbyes we left.

The cab pulled to a stop in front of Jen's building. Joey
had her head resting softly on my shoulder, a quite snore
escaping her mouth. "Jo, come on Jo wake up. We're
here." I paid the cab driver and started to slide out of the
cab, just catching Joey as her still sleeping form began to
tumble. "Joey is you okay?" She nodded clutching her
head. The fall had finally woken her. "Okay come on,
we're home."

"Pacey, do you remember when you said 'you're my friend
and would do anything for me?"

"Yes Potter, it was like an hour ago. And unlike you I
haven't been drinking." She rolled her eyes at me before
continuing.

"Well I need something, really, really bad."

"What Joey?" I could hear the suspicion in my own voice.

"I need the world to stop spinning. It's making me dizzy."
Her words came out slurred.

"Jo, I can't do that. Let's just get you up to bed okay.
You'll feel better tomorrow. Well actually you'll feel worse
for a while tomorrow, then you'll feel better." She
stumbled out of the cab, her weight falling into my arms.

"Will you carry me Pacey?" She looked up literally batting
her eyelashes at me.

"No Joey. I hate to say I told you so…but remember
earlier when I told that you'd had enough to drink?"

"No, everything is kind of a blur." Her voice suddenly
seemed small, as she stuck her bottom lip out and pouted
for me.

"Well I told you, and you basically told me to mind my
own business. Now as my mom would say, 'you have to
live with the consequences of your actions.' Sorry Jo."

We eventually made our way to the elevator. I wasn't
technically carrying her, but I seemed to be moving the
majority of her weight for her. I started to wonder if
carrying her was really such a bad idea. We made it all
the way in to Jen's apartment with out further complaint.
Then Joey saw the staircase leading to her second floor
bedroom, and the begging began.

"Please Pacey, carry me now?" Her voice quivered and I
saw tears touching the corners of her eyes. How could I
deny her anything? Leaning over I scooped her up into my
arms causing a flood of giggles to pour out of her. "I
always knew you were an old softy Pace."

"Watch it Potter, I could put you down at any time." Her
pout returned almost instantly.

"I met a guy tonight Pace, before you got there. He
thought I was really pretty. He even said I was beautiful
and really smart."

"Yes Miss Potter, you are in fact a lovely and wise drunk."

"You said I was beautiful once Pacey. It was when I first
met you; you said Jen and I were beautiful angels. It was
the first time a boy said that to me."

"It was Jo?" I felt my surprise.

"Yeah, my mom and dad used to tell me a lot, but never
any boys. You didn't mean it though."

"Of course I meant it Joey. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you were only joking around at the time. And you
never said it again. You were just being nice, I mean we
didn't know each other very well did we? Once you got to
know me and you didn't have to be polite anymore, well
you just never said it again."

"Joey, I'm sure I've told you a hundred times that you're
beautiful."

"No, you always say I look amazing or great, never
beautiful."

"Oh Jo, I'm sorry I never said it again. I've thought it lots
of times. Every time I see you I think it." She rested her
head on my shoulder and sighed deeply.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." She didn't believe me; I
could hear it in her voice. How had I failed to tell her
that? As we reached her room I sat her down gingerly on
her bed, and began to remove her boots. She watched
me but offered little help.

"Do you want to change into pajamas Jo?" She nodded to
me, biting down softly on her lower lip. Her eyes seemed
deep in thought.

"There in the top drawer." She pointed to the dresser
sitting against the wall. Upon opening the drawer I saw
her pajamas folded neatly on one side. The other side of
the drawer was a mess of brightly colored underwear. I
could feel the heat rise in my body as I shyly studied the
small pieces of silk and lace. The reality that she was
sitting just a few feet away watching me hit as I reached
to grab her pajamas. I could feel the blush rising in my
cheeks as I slammed the drawer closed with unintentional
force. To my relief, as I turned to face her, I saw that
she was lying back on her bed with her eyes closed.

"Here Joey." My voice came out lower than I had
expected. I sat the clothes down next to her. In a very
un-Joey like manner, she seemed to ignore the fact that I
was sitting there and began to undress. She obviously
wasn't thinking straight, but I was. Closing my eyes I
rested my head in my hands, waiting for the rustling of
clothes to stop. When I felt her sit down next to me, I
peeked out of the corner of my eye. She sat next to me
in her pajamas watching me.

"If you think I'm beautiful Pacey, why close your eyes?"
Her question stung me. It stole my breath away, what
shocked me even more was the realization that she had
done it on purpose.

"I respect you, I'm not going to let you do anything you
would regret tomorrow."

"Oh…what if I want to do something I'll regret tomorrow?
What if that was my plan for the night? To make some
huge mistake, and to quit being so uptight?" She glared
at me waiting for my response.

"I won't be a mistake in your life Joey. You mean to much
to me." Her eyes widened in shock, followed closely by
sorrow.

"I didn't mean it that way Pacey. Not about you."

"Come on Jo, let's get you into bed. Come here, I'll tuck
you in."

"Will you get in with me?" Her question caught me off
guard.

"Jo…I don't…"

"Not like that Pacey. I…you know when I first came to
school I was scared of everything. I was so nervous I
hadn't slept for days. When you came to stay that first
Saturday night, I felt comfortable and safe with you
there. I want to feel that again. Please." Instead of
answering I slid down into her bed and laid my arm out
across her pillow. She smiled her crooked half-smile as
she slid in next to me laying her head on my chest. "Tell
me a story Pace."

"About what? What kind of story?"

"Whatever, when I was little my dad used to make up
storied for me. He said a good story gives you good
dreams. Just make something up Pacey."

"Uh okay. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there
was a beautiful princess named…Josephine." She laughed
softly beside me. "What? You don't like my story? To
cheesy?"

"No, I love it so far. It's funny because that how my dad's
stories always started. Well minus the 'far, far away' part,
that a little Star Wars don't ya think?"

"Okay no more criticism from the cheap seats. You lay
there quietly young lady or no story for you." Joey
propped herself up on one elbow and saluted me. She
then pretended to zip and lock her mouth shut. She
finished by throwing the pretend key away. Lying back
down on my chest she nodded for me to continue.

"Okay so the princess was the most beautiful girl in all of
the land. Her best friend was a young servant boy named
Pacey. According to the laws of the land and everyone
else he was beneath her, but she never treated him as a
servant only as a friend. They had met when they were
teens, but Pacey couldn't remember his life without the
princess. She was like the sun to him, in that by the light
she gave he could see everything. The whole world
seemed more alive, brighter when the princess was
around. Their closeness did not go unnoticed. The King
decided one day that their friendship should end before it
became something else.

He announced to the kingdom that very day that
Josephine was ready to wed. Now the King knew as well
as anyone that she was beautiful and so smart,
whomever she would be given to in marriage would be a
very lucky man. The King ended his announcement by
saying that only the richest and bravest of princes and
noblemen would be considered. The servant boy felt his
heart break at the announcement, knowing he would lose
his best friend. He didn't really understand how much
more he was losing.

The kingdoms to the north and the south both had
princes' that were of marrying age. Both had seen
Josephine beauty, and both now wanted her for their
own. The Prince from the north was named Dawson, he
was known through out the land to be highly self-
absorbed, and more than a little self-righteous. The
prince to the south was named Drue, he was known as
arrogant. Every woman he could get his hands on also
knew him, in the biblical sense. A real love 'em and leave
'em type of guy.

The princess had heard of both of these princes, but
being the kind fair-minded person she was, she chose not
to cast judgment on them. The princes however were not
so high-minded. They had each heard of the others
interest in the princess, and each had decided that the
only way to assure a marriage was to arrive at the castle
accompanied by their armies.

Now Drue had the far superior army, as he was known to
trample whoever got in his way. He was of the firm belief
that tearing others down was the only way to build him
self up. Dawson while not as openly vile was equally
dangerous, in his own sly ways. He used whining and his
own, often wrong, views of the world to turn people to
his side. When that did not work, he made kind hearted
people feel guilty. He used the goodness in others to
promote his own agendas.

As the two armies began to cross the kingdom rumors of
the impending war darkened the countryside. The young
servant boy saw how stupid this whole idea of a war was.
As they were closing in on the castle, Pacey came to
realize that the princess was in danger of being hurt by
the princes' selfish desires. He slipped into the castle one
night and stole her away.

He took her away to a small cave in the mountains. When
they were younger they had spent a lot of time there
together becoming friends. He took care of her day and
night, making sure she was safe and happy. He had
always planned on returning her to the castle when the
war was over, once he knew she would be safe. The King
however, did not know this, fearing for his daughter's
safety he hired a temptress named …uh…Tamara to come
and seduce the young boy away from the princess.

Now this temptress was really and old hag…a witch really
who had disguised her outside to be far prettier than her
insides could ever be. She found the young boy and cast
a spell on him. I mean it had to be a spell right, why
would he choose her when the princess was an option?
Anyway, she cast a spell on him so that his eyes could
only see her, and so his mind was consumed with
thoughts of her, and so his body would crave her. But
she forgot his heart, which remained with his Josephine.
The spells made him do awful things, things that caused
the princess much pain. He committed himself to the
witch, even thought his heart told him not to. He chose
in his blindness to listen to his mind and body. The
princess was helpless as her trusted friend who she truly
cared about drifted away. One day disappearing from her
life completely.

She returned to the castle that day, heartbroken and
alone. As time passed her heartbreak turned to anger and
she became determined to find someone who wanted her.
A silver tongued young man happened by the castle. His
name was Charlie. He said all the right things to the
princess, to make her feel beautiful and loved again. But
the princess was smart enough to realize that while his
words were wonderful and filled with love, that love never
touched his eyes. The eyes of her servant boy had
always glowed with the emotion he never been able to
express for her. She ran from the castle that very day,
hoping to escape the fear of never being loved.

During her escape a town's girl named Jen befriended her.
Jen vowed to protect and educate the princess. She
talked and talked about the evils of men, but the princess
couldn't let go of the idea that true love existed in the
world and was waiting for her. One night Jen took young
Josephine to a local pub where the princess partook of
ale for the first time. Now not knowing her limits she
drank far too much.

The servant boy meanwhile had been sent on an errand
for the witch. The errand required him to travel for many
days, all the way to the king's city. The longer he was
away from the witch, the less effect her spell had on him.
The clearer he saw, the stronger the longing of his heart
became to see his princess. Knowing she must be married
by now he took to walking the streets at night filled with
the memories of their nights together. It was on one of
these walks that he happened upon her, sitting on the
side of the road, in her drunken state. It was hard for him
to believe that it was even her. She looked up at him,
fixing her gorgeous eyes upon his, and asked the servant
boy to carry her home. Not sure where home was to her
anymore he took her to the room he had rented for the
night. 'Lay with me Pacey' she asked, her voice pleading.
'Hold me until I fall asleep'. He did as she asked; as soon
as he touched her he felt his heart begin to fill with joy.
Looking down at her asleep in his arms he knew he
needed her, wanted her. More importantly he knew,
without being told, what he had to do to break the
witches spell completely.

It was simple; he had to say it out loud. He had to voice
all of his feelings for her. He had felt it all along; he just
didn't know what the feelings were. He didn't know what
the proper words were to describe them. The boy rolled
onto his side and pulled his sleeping princess close. He
kissed her softly on the forehead, then on the nose."

Pacey stopped his story for a moment to act it out him
self. "He knew she was deep in sleep, but the spell
needed to be broken, the words needed to be said, as
much for him as for her. He leaned as close to her ear as
he could without disturbing her. Whispering softly in her
ear 'I love you Jo, I've fallen in love with you.'"

Chapter 13 -Everything that follows- Joey's P.O.V.

"Good morning beautiful." My eye fluttered open to the
sound of his voice. Did Pacey Witter just call me
beautiful? Blue eyes met mine with a smile. He leaned
over and softly kissed the tip of my nose. My heart
fluttered at the gesture. Here I am again. "Do you know
that you look beautiful in the mornings Jo? Now I've seen
my fair share of girls in the mornings, what with two older
sisters and all the slumber parties they had. However I
don't remember ever seeing a girl look as beautiful as you
do."

"Hey Pacey. Are you sweet-talking me? Did you sleep in
here with me?"

"Yes to both questions, you don't remember asking me to
stay?"

"No, did you go to the club last night? Did Jack and Jen
make up yet?" My head was throbbing; it seemed to
match the beating of my heart. Rubbing it I hoped to
alleviate some of the pain.

"Yeah we went to the club. And they seemed pretty cozy
when we left. How's the head?" His voice was laced with
concern as his fingers gently traced my forehead.

"My head doesn't feel so great right now. Wait, I asked
you to stay with me? Pacey I didn't do anything stupid
did I?"

"Yeah, you asked me to stay. I don't know if you consider
that stupid or not. Oh and if you don't count serenading
the club or flashing the cop, you were very well behaved.
Stay right here sweetheart, I'll go get you some aspirin
for your head and some toast."

"Thanks Pace, you're a saint. I flashed a cop?" He shook
his head no to me with a sly smile letting me know he was
joking. Standing up he gently removed his arm from
behind my head. I heard the door shut almost silently
behind him. What happened last night? Think! I remember
going to the club with Jen. I remember a lot of rum and
coke. I remember some guy, Ethan…no, Seth…maybe…no,
Kevin…. yes Kevin. I wonder what happened to Kevin?
Where did Pacey come in? Why is he acting so weird this
morning? Getting up I moved quickly to the bathroom,
hoping to get out before Pacey got back.

I look like death warmed over. Big black circles surround
my eyes, and my face looks puffy, so much for being
beautiful. Checking the clock I realized that it was
already 10:30, I'm supposed to meet Dawson for lunch in
thirty minutes. Swearing under my breath I throw on a
pair of jeans and a sweater, and made myself as
presentable as possible. As I race out the door I run right
into Pacey.

"Hey, where are you off to?" He stumbled momentarily
almost dropping the toast he's carrying.

"Pacey, I'm supposed to meet Dawson for lunch. I didn't
realize how late it was." Smiling at him I took a big bite of
the toast and swallowed down the aspirin. "You know
you're quit the chef." He smiled at me for a brief second.

"Uh, okay." He looked so disappointed. Setting down the
plate he pulled me in for a hug. "Don't be to long okay? I
have some stuff I want to talk to you about." He leaned
forward his lips barely touching my cheek as he kissed it.

"Okay, do you want me to bring you back anything from
the café? I could get a sandwich or something to go?"

"Thanks Jo, that's sweet. I think I'll just make a sandwich
though." Nodding I took off.

Dawson stood watching me approach. He had a look of
disapproval in his eyes. "Joey, are you okay? You look all
pale, are you sick?"

"No Dawson I'm fine."

"Well you're late. Our table is already ready." I followed
him to a table towards the back. We hadn't even sat
down when the interrogation began. "Joey, how could you
leave like that without even saying goodbye?"

"Dawson, you were totally obsessed with Jessica. I mean
we hadn't even spoken in weeks. Besides I thought it
would be easier that way. It's not like I was leaving
forever, I'll be back when the term is over."

"I've really needed you the last couple weeks. Jessica's
ex-boyfriend came to town. She got all confused and I
was kind of a jerk about the whole thing. She broke up
with me saying she needed time alone, now she is dating
some jock."

"I'm sorry Dawson. I'm sure it's hard on you. Have you
tried talking to her? I think you should tell her you still
have feelings for her?" Before I left Dawson's words would
have hurt me. I thought we were meant to be. It wasn't
until Pacey, that I realized that my feelings for Dawson
were far from romantic. I had some strange obsession
with the guy, mixed with the fear of losing my only real
friend.

"I don't know Jo. I mean I spent all night thinking about
you. You looked so different last night, like a girl."

"It was just make-up Dawson. Look at me now. I'm just
plain old Joey Potter. The same girl you've known your
whole life, and never noticed."

"But I've noticed you now Joey. I don't think I can
change that. With our friendship and our history and all, I
think we should give us a try. You aren't seriously into
that Pacey guy are you?" He stopped and began to study
me waiting for a reply. Dawson was jealous. He felt
threatened by Pacey, like I had felt with Jessica.

"Dawson, is that what this is about? You don't want me
dating Pacey do you?" He seemed to flinch with my
statement.

"Of course that's not what this is about. This is about us
Joey, how no one will ever fit with us like we fit with each
other. I miss you Joey. Don't you want to come home
now? I think you've been gone long enough. We could try
dating." His eyes held a combination of pleading and
demanding that I had never seen before.

"Dawson, I'm not going back to Capeside. I'm not leaving
school. I love it there. I'm the happiest I've ever been. I
have friends, I don't want to leave."

"Oh, but you were okay leaving me. Just say it, you're
choosing that Pacey guy over me. You would rather be
with him."

"Dawson, don't twist my words around. It's not just
Pacey, there's Jack and Jen too. More importantly I'm
happy. I'm sorry that I haven't been there when you
needed me. I know you always expected me to be, your
fallback friend when all else goes wrong. I don't want to
be that person Dawson. I want to do things that make
me happy. This school, these people, they make me
happy."

"What about me Joey? What about what makes me
happy? I want you to come home. I need you there right
now. If you truly cared about me, you would." He sneered
at me, his face looking openly disgusted.

"Dawson, if you cared about me you wouldn't ask me
too." Standing up I tossed my napkin on the table and
turned to leave. "I'll be home in June, if you've figured out
by then that friendship is a two way street, come see
me." Leaving I felt a kind of freedom I'd never felt before.
Who knew that standing up to Dawson could be so
liberating. I needed that. I needed to know that I'm my
own person. I can care about the people around me
without making their needs my own.

Unlocking Jen's door I could see Pacey in the kitchen
fixing a sandwich. "Hey Witter, what are you making?" He
seemed to jump at my voice.

"Man, the service must have improved since yesterday.
You've only been gone like twenty minutes. I mean I
know I told you to hurry, but you could have taken time
to chew."

"Hardy har har Witter, very funny. Dawson and I had an
argument. I figured I would come here and have you fix
me lunch. What do you say, Jailbait?" His eyes fixed on
mine, his face scrunching up at the nickname.

"I don't know Jo, you didn't seem to appreciate the
breakfast I fixed for you."

"I promise to eat every last crumb. Please." I turned my
saddest puppy dog eyes on him and pouted out my lip.
"Pretty please."

"Ah…Jo don't do the face. That's so unfair. Ham or
turkey?"

"Turkey please. So you wanted to talk to me?" The simple
statement he made as I left had been running through my
mind the whole time. I had a feeling it had to do with my
behavior last night.

"Yeah, Jo, what do you remember about last night?" His
eyes searched mine as the question rang through my
mind.

"Not much. Did something happen between us Pace? I
really don't remember you being there at all. I'm really
sorry if I did something stupid." Oh God, I had done
something stupid. The way he was looking at me caused
a blush to rise to my cheeks.

"Nothing really happened Jo. I mean…"

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Jen's happy voice seemed
to fill the room. Looking at my smiling roommate, I knew
why she was so happy. Jack stood behind her an arm
wrapped protectively around her small waist. They both
seemed to be glowing.

"Not much, so I take it you two are doing better." Jen
winked at me a sly smile on her face.

"Jack was bad and I overreacted, he apologized and I
accepted, all's well that ends well. Right honey?" With
that Jen turned in his arms and began to kiss Jack.

"Should we make a break for it Potter?" Pacey whispered
in my ear as what started as a sweet kiss changed to
something else.

"I'm right behind you." We had just about made it out of
the room when Jen noticed us.

"Hey we need to leave for the play in about an hour, okay
guys?"

"Sure no problem, we'll meet you back here then." Pacey
and I made our way upstairs. He took hold of my hand
and held it, his thumb tracing circles in skin. He was
acting so different. He delicately kissed my hand before
letting it fall as he headed off to his own room to get
ready. He was flirting with me. Pacey generally flirts with
everyone, but it felt different this time. It was tender,
and the way he kept looking at me made me want to lose
myself in his eyes.

Pacey's P.O.V.

Later that day

"So what did you think of the play?" Looking at her, I
could see the answer in her eyes. They glowed with
happiness. The play had been breathtaking, the costumes
the lighting and music. None of it could distract me from
her for long though. Watching her watch the play had
been equally breathtaking.

"It was amazing Pace, did you see the elephants? I don't
know how you could miss them, one walked right by us. It
was huge. And the way the animals moved, it was art."
Light danced in her eyes, her joy evident in every
movement she made. She had never looked beautiful. I
made myself a promise last night that anytime I thought
that I would voice it. I won't make the same mistakes I've
been making all along.

"You look so beautiful right now Jo. I love seeing you this
happy." She looked up at me with a hint of suspicion in
her eyes. I could almost read her thoughts as she
wondered why I had said that. A blush crept into her
cheeks the soft tinge of pink making adding to her
beauty.

"So what do you guys want to do now?" Jen asked from
behind us.

"I have always wanted to go to the Met." Jo's voice rang
out hopefully.

"I love the Met." Jack seconded Joey's idea. Turning I
noticed Jen studying me with the same interest she had
all day.

"How about we split up. Jo, you and Jack go to the
museum, Pacey and I will go to FAO Schwartz and we'll
meet you back here in say two hours."

"Are you sure Jen? I mean I don't have to go to the
museum."

"Jo, it's fine. I've just seen it a million times. Besides I
think it's safer if I take Pacey to the toy store." Joey
giggled in response to that and nodded in agreement with
Jen.

"Hey why are you attacking me? I can make it through a
museum with out breaking anything. But I probably would
prefer the toy store. So Jack are you up for a wife
swapping?" Joey hit me playfully on the arm just as Jack
eagerly agreed and got a similar response from Jen.

"Try not to miss me too much Pace." Jo rolled her eyes at
me as she took Jack's out stretched hand and headed off
to the Met.

"So we're finally alone."

"What?" Jen's words surprised me.

"I think it's about time we had a talk Pacey."

"No toy store huh?"

"Well it depends on how the talk goes. If you're good I'll
think about it." Jen looped her arm through mine and led
me to a near by park bench. "You're behaving very odd
Pacey. If there is something you would like to talk about,
I'd be happy to listen."

"Odd, how have I been odd?"

"Well let's see this morning when I came in to talk to Joey
I found you cleaning her room. First off Joey is very tidy
and would've cleaned it her self when she got home, you
didn't have to. Secondly, my parents have a
housekeeper; if Joey hadn't cleaned it Sally would've, so
once again you didn't have to do it. Then as we walked
to the theater you had to open every door for her, twice
pushing Jack out of the way so you could do it. Then
everything she stopped to look at, at the tourist shops
you bought for her. Pacey you bought her a Statue of
Liberty pencil sharpener. And what was your deal in the
deli when she tried to buy her self a pack of gum and you
insisted on paying for it?"

"I was trying to help. There was no reason I couldn't pay
for it."

"Pacey, it was 25 cents. I'm sure Joey could afford it.
Then to top it all off there was that puddle as we were
coming into the park, you picked her up and carried her
over it."

"She told me last night how much she likes her new
boots, I didn't want them getting ruined." I shrugged at
Jen hoping to play down my behavior.

"Pacey…okay it only took me two steps to go around it.
Just for future reference, when you are picking up a girl
the best way to do it is an arm under her back and one
under her knees. Throwing her over your shoulder like a
sack of potatoes won't fly with all girls." With that said
Jen broke out into laughter. "You're into her aren't you?"

"Into her how?"

"You've finally got a crush on Joey. That's why you're
doing all this stuff, you're wooing her."

"I wish it was that easy Jen." Letting out all the breath
that I didn't know I was holding I continued. "I…I'm in
love with her. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell
her."

"You're in love with her? Are you serious? What about
Miss Jacobs?"

"It's not about love with her, Jen. I didn't realize I loved
Joey until last night. I guess I've always known, I just
didn't admit it to myself until last night. I…I just want to
make her as happy as she had made me. That's why I'm
doing all that stuff."

"What changed Pacey?"

"Nothing… everything. She asked me to hold her last night
and as soon as I touched her I knew. I read this saying
once in a book, I don't remember whom it was by but it
said 'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but the moments that take our breath away'. Last
night touching her, she stole my breath away. Jen I
guess I've always been somewhat of a cynic; I haven't
had a lot of those moments in my life, not until I met
Joey. As I lay there holding her last night, watching her
sleep, I just thought about these last couple months,
how many times it has happened. I've never felt this way
about anyone. I think that's why I didn't recognize the
feelings for so long."

"You still have an arrangement with Miss Jacobs through,
right?"

"Yeah, but I'll end it as soon as we get back to school. I
was planning on doing that even before my epiphany."

"Well I'm proud of you Pacey. She's an amazing girl. I'm
glad to know that you aren't completely blind. I think you
should probably settle things with Miss Jacobs first,
before you tell Jo. I mean break-ups don't always go
smoothly. It would probably be best to get that out of
the way. But keep up the wooing of Joey, not only is it
highly entertaining for me, but I like watching Joey trying
to figure out what you're up to."

"She's noticed huh?"

"Yeah Pace, it's hard to miss."

Chapter 14 - A return to reality- Joey's P.O.V.

Our trip to New York had ended far to soon. My last night
was spent alone, wishing Pacey had offered to stay in my
room again. I couldn't complain too much though, I hadn't
offered. I guess I thought if he wanted to he would ask.
Standing on my tiptoes I began to search the crowd at
the train station for my friends.

"Hey Jo, what're you thinking about Potter?" His arms slid
around my waist as he whispered in my ear. "I'll bet I
know, probably some roguishly handsome young man."

"Nope, actually I was thinking about you Pacey." Pacey
responded by stabbing himself in the heart with some
imaginary weapon. Laughter escaped my lips as I fought
to hold my serious demeanor.

"Ah Potter, I'm not sure my ego can handle being your
friend anymore."

"Trust me Pace, a little denting of your monstrous ego is
not a bad thing. You need me as a friend, I keep you from
believing your own delusions of grandeur."

"Okay that's it, you're just asking for it. You know I would
actually be offended but you just admitted that you're
standing over here, head in the clouds, thinking of little
old me."

"I didn't say what I was thinking Witter, it could've been
awful, rotten things."

"No way, see Ms. Potter, I saw the dreamy look on your
face. I think it's time that you admit that the Witter
charm has worked it's magic on you."

"Magic huh? If the so-called 'Witter charm' induces
anything it's probably closer to a mild psychotic episode
than magic. Of course that's just my opinion. I'm sure
there're plenty of girls who would confuse the two." I
almost immediately regretted my words as an evil glint
entered his eye. "Pace, I was just joking. Pace." Slowly I
backed away afraid any sudden movement might further
encourage the impending attack.

"Where you going Jo?" He matched me step for step.

"Hey Jen!" I shouted out looking over his shoulder at no
one. In the second it took him to turn and look for our
friends I turned and took of running. Apparently a second
wasn't enough. Only a moment had passed before I felt
him grab my hand, pulling me towards him. He stumbled
as my weight fell against him and we ended up an
amusing entangled mess on the train station floor. Our
laughter rang through the crowds of people that
surrounded us. "I can't believe you fell for that Jen thing.
That's the oldest trick in the book Pace."

"I can't believe you thought you stood a chance of
getting away from me." Smiling I removed my weight from
on top of him and helped him to standing. "You are a
handful Potter. I think I'm going to have to keep a closer
eye on you. Someone's got to make sure you stay out of
trouble."

"And you're just the man for the job, huh Witter?" His
eyes gleamed at my question.

"Better me than some poor unsuspecting guy who gets
drawn in by your good looks and innocent looking eyes.
At least I know how wicked you can be."

"I thought you, of all people, would appreciate a little
wickedness Pace." Nodding in agreement a wide smile lit
up his face.

"I could show you a little wickedness Potter."

"Uh huh, sure Pacey." Rolling my eyes at his innuendo I
began to head back to the train. Jen and Jack stood
side-by-side examining us.

"Are you two about done man-handling each other?"

"I'm done, are you done Pace?"

"Done? With you Potter, never." The seriousness of his
tone gave added meaning to the statement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following week went by quickly. Pacey's weird and
wonderful behavior continued. Over all it had been a
great week. I loved all the attention he gave to me.

My meeting with Miss Jacobs had even been tolerable. I
could tell she was dying to know about our weekend. I
wasn't telling however. I figured it was up to Pacey, what
he wanted her to know. Jen has been acting weird too.
She's back to loving Pacey, always has something nice to
say about him. Not only that she is constantly leaving the
two of us alone together. Sneaking off has practically
become an art form with her.

Walking into study hall on Thursday I headed straight to
our usual table. Pacey was already there, waiting for me.
He saw me coming and flashed a smile my way. It's
strange how well I know him. Right away I noticed that
the smile didn't touch his eyes. No matter what Pacey's
facial expression, his eyes always tell the truth.

"Hey Pace, what's wrong?" His face registered shock at
my question.

"No…nothing. I'm fine. Why?"

" You have this look in your eyes." I shrugged. "Something
is bothering you, Pace. If you would rather not talk about
it, that's fine." Pacey chuckled, the deepness of his voice
made goose-bumps run up and down my skin.

"Maybe us being this close isn't I good idea, if you can
read me that well. You got me Potter, something is
bothering me. It would probably help to talk about it.
Actually I was planning on talking to you about it."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Drue watching us.
Taking Pacey's hand in mine I soothingly brought it to my
lips. His eyes widened a little in astonishment until I
whispered my explanation. "Drue is watching us." Smiling
in response he leaned toward me and gave me the
softest kiss. His hand settled firmly in my hair as his
mouth explored mine. When his lips finally left mine his
arm swept around me, pulling me onto his lap. His arms
wrapped tightly around me as he buried his face into my
neck. I watched as Drue walked away. I didn't say
anything to Pacey, not wanting the moment to end. I
nestled down further and waited for Pacey to notice that
Drue was gone.

When he pulled away he seemed as reluctant as I felt. A
beautiful smile graced his face as he spoke. "Thanks
Potter, I didn't see him lurking over there."

"No problem Pace." I could feel my lips still tingling from
the kiss, and my voice sounded breathless. "So, back to
what's bothering you, I'm ready to listen." I squeezed his
hand lightly to reassure him.

"Well, actually it's a problem with my Dad. He's a cop; I
think I've already told you that. Anyway, they've
temporarily suspended his badge. He's under
investigation. See a little over a year ago there was a
shoot out at a drug house in Boston. Some small-town
dealer died in the crossfire. I guess he'd been in Boston
to pick up his supply. Well they finally traced the bullet
that killed him back to my dad's gun. Now they've put my
dad on probation until they can hold an internal affairs
hearing and get it all worked out. He may lose his job!
And over the life of a drug dealer, can you believe that?"
Pacey looked up at me, I knew there was distress in my
eyes. That was how my dad had died. 'Pacey's dad had
killed my dad!' I could hear a voice that must have been
my own screaming in my head. No! I don't know for sure,
I…I need more information. I have to to find out.

"He… he killed him? When did this happen Pacey?" I asked
trying to add warmth to my icy sounding voice.

"January of last year." I could feel the tears starting to fill
my eyes.

"Did he have a family?"

"I don't know Jo!" Shock was overflowing from Pacey's
voice onto his face. "He was a drug dealer Jo. This is my
dad we're talking about. He wasn't always the greatest
dad, but he's a good man. I know him; he would never
hurt anyone on purpose. He loves his job. He is a great
cop. Now they are punishing him! Taking away the one
thing he really loves. Why? For doing his job and getting
some scum off the street." Pacey continued on with his
rant, I decided to tune him out at that point. He didn't
know what he was saying, or at least what his words
were doing to me.

My dad had been a good man also. He loved my mom so
much. They had a truly great marriage. We had always
been what most people would consider poor, but we were
so happy. My parents had owned a small diner. The
summer tourists pretty much kept it afloat, but we all
worked there together. I think we spent way more time
together than normal families, that's probably why we
were so close. Then my mom got sick. Hospital bills were
so expensive and then she died. She not only left us
alone and heartbroken, she left us in financial ruin. My
dad kind of snapped. He quit working at the diner, leaving
Bessie to run it. He started doing 'odd jobs' to pay the
bills. It took his death for me to find out that odd jobs
translated to drug trafficking. All I knew was that we
suddenly had more money. Dad was able to pay all the
bills and the tension level in our home finally decreased.
There were happy times again, like before she left. Dad
even had enough extra money to add onto the house so
Bessie and I could each have our own room.

Then he died. I lost my daddy. He had always loved me
so much. The tragedy was made worse by the fact that
the whole town seemed to know the details of his death.
They also now knew how he had earned his money. The
local sheriff never found out who did it, but about two
days after we buried him somebody torched our family
restaurant. Those were some of the darkest days of my
life. It felt like everything I loved was destroyed, all I had
left was Bessie and I barely had her. Bessie had started
dating the cook at the diner, Bodie. She spent most of
her time with him, not that I blamed her. I was basically
alone.

"So, what do you think?" Pacey question pulled me from
my thoughts. Sadly the question didn't give me a clue as
to what he was asking.

"Sorry Pacey, what was the question?"

"My mom wants me to come home for the weekend. You
know to show support for my dad. I thought maybe you
could come with me. My house will probably be kind of
depressing. I could use the distraction. Will you come?" I
knew right away I would go. I wanted to meet Pacey's
dad, I wanted to talk to him. Most of all I wanted to
know how my dad's life had ended. I needed to know the
truth, not the watered down version the cops had told
us.

"Sure Pace, I'll go with you. I better go call Bessie so she
can get me a weekend pass. It's kind of short notice,
with tomorrow being Friday and all." I needed to leave. I
had to figure out what I was going to say to Pacey's
father. Gathering my stuff I let my feet carry me out of
the room. It was too much to think about. I went straight
to my room hoping Bessie would excuse me from the rest
of today's classes also.

Chapter 15-Colliding Interests-Joey's P.O.V.

Pacey's house appeared pretty much as I had pictured it.
A brick house with a fenced in back yard, not to big or to
small. It sat in the middle of its block; all the houses that
surrounded it were similar in size and design. Pacey stood
next to me fidgeting. I wondered how many times over
the last two days he had regretted my invitation. I knew
I had been acting weird. I just couldn't find the words to
tell him why. The bus ride up had passed in almost
complete silence.

"Well this is home. Welcome to casa Witter." I just smiled
nervously in response as we entered the house. "Hello!
I'm home! Anyone?"

"Hello Pacey." A booming voice sounded out, one that had
an air of authority. I watched as a man that could only
be Pacey's father entered the room. His eyes mirrored
Pacey's blue pools and he had the same stubborn chin.
He pulled his son into a hug, tenderness entering his
eyes. "Thanks for coming home Pacey. I'm sure you've
got other things you could be doing."

"Nope, nothing more important than being here. Hey pop,
where is everyone?"

"Well the girls went to the store with your mom to get
food for dinner. Dougie is at work until nine tonight. Son,
I think we're being rude, why don't you introduce your
friend." I moved out from behind Pacey, where I had in
part been hiding. He wasn't what I expected. He wasn't
big or burly; he actually was smaller than Pacey. He
looked tired, worry lines creasing his forehead.

"Pop, this Joey. She's a good friend of mine from school. I
told mom I was bringing her home with me."

"Yes, your mother told me. To be honest son, we thought
'Joey' was a boy. We didn't even make up the spare
room. We figured you would both just stay in your room."
Mr. Witter's eyes passed over me. "You must be
something special Joey. Pacey's never brought anyone
from his ritzy school home before. So tell me about
yourself."

Doubt entered my mind about what I was about to do. No
one else was home; there might not be a better time.
Stepping forward I stuck my hand out to him. "Sir, my
name is Josephine Potter. I'm from Capeside,
Massachusetts." I watched in silence as all the air
seemed to leave his body and his eyes began to search
mine. I could feel Pacey moving behind me as the silence
hung in the air.

"Are you related to Mike Potter?" His voice sounded
hollow, so different from moments ago.

"He was my father, sir." I answered my own voice now
sounding meek. At that moment fear overtook me. What
am I doing here? What will he think of me now; I'm a drug
dealer's daughter? Oh God, Pacey. I'm going to have to
tell him the truth now. Why didn't I think of al these
consequences before? I left my home to escape who I am
only to drag it along with me.

"I…I see." Sadness entered his eyes as tears entered
mine.

"Pop, did you know Joey's dad?" Pacey question seemed
to remind him that we were not alone.

"Do you know my connection to your father Joey?" Mr.
Witter asked, ignoring Pacey's question. His voice now
seemed soothing.

"I… well I figured it out." Mr. Witter squeezed my hand,
which I had forgotten he was holding. Turning he spoke
to his son. "Pacey, go to your room for a minute, I need
to speak to Joey alone."

"Why? What's going on?" Concern laced Pacey's words.
He turned to look at me for the first time. The worried
look he was giving me caused the tears that already filled
my eyes to begin to fall. "Oh my God, Joey are you okay?
What's wrong?"

"Son! Please go to your room." A tension filled the room
as the seriousness of Mr. Witter's tone seemed to startle
his son.

"No pop. I'm not going anywhere. Not until I know she is
okay." Pacey's arms slid around me protectively. "It's
okay Jo, whatever it is. I'm here."

"Pacey, I'm fine. Really." He looked at me with disbelieving
eyes. "Talking about my parents, it upsets me sometimes.
That's all. I would like to talk to your dad about this, then
I…I'll tell you all about them. I promise." Pacey reluctantly
pulled away from me, his arms dropping lifelessly to his
side. Grabbing both of our bags he headed upstairs
watching me the whole way, as if hoping for me to
change my mind.

Mr. Witter took my hand and led me into a study. "I…I'm
sorry about your father Joey. That probably doesn't mean
much coming from me. How is your mother doing? Lillian is
her name right?" The sincerity of his voice comforting me
until the shock of what he was asking hit me.

"My…my mother sir?"

"Yes your mother, I'm sure his death was awful for her."

"My mother died three years ago, she had cancer." His
eyes widened a heavy silence filling the room.

"You…you don't have any parents." What started out as a
question ended up a solemn statement. Dropping his head
into his hands a single sob seemed to rip through him.
"Are you a ward of the state?" I barely heard the
whispered question.

"No sir. My sister, Bessie, is my guardian." As he looked
up at me tears matching my own were slipping down his
cheeks.

"I'm sorry Joey. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for what happened.
I've been on the police force for nearly 30 years Joey.
Your father he's well, he's the only person I've ever killed.
It's an awful feeling knowing you robbed another person
of their life. Knowing I robbed a family of their father. If I
could take it back I would. Can I ask you something
Joey?"

"Yes, sir." My heart was breaking.

"Why are you here? I'm surprised you can stand to be in
the same room as me."

"There are two reasons sir."

"John, you can call me John."

"Uhmm, I think I'm more comfortable with Mr. Witter, sir."
He nodded his acceptance to me the sadness haunting
his eyes again. "The first reason I came here is personal.
I…", Gathering a deep breath and all my courage I pushed
forward, to finish what I started. "I want to know how he
died, why he died. Was he in a lot of pain? Did he ask for
us? Did he even know he was dying? See the police just
told us that he had died. I mean just the basic
circumstances. They said they couldn't tell us the details,
because the investigation was still pending. When Pacey
told me about your probation, I figured out it was my
dad. I guess I figured you had my answers." The
questions seemed to tumble uncontrollably from me until
all of the air left my lungs.

"I do Joey. Come sit down." He motioned to the spot next
to him on the couch. His eyes held the same warmth that
Pacey's always showed to me. "What happened Joey, it
was my fault. I broke protocol. I cost a man his life and
endangered others." His eyes dazed over and I could
almost see the day replaying in his mind. "We had been
watching a known drug house for quite some time. The
activity had increased and our sources told us a large
shipment would be going out. We decided to stop it
before it reached the streets. Five patrol cars arrived
that evening, we surrounded the house. A bright
searchlight was shining on the entrance and we
announced ourselves to the people inside. 'Boston Police
come out with your hands up.' All of us officers sat with
our guns pulled, waiting for the commander's orders to
open fire. I saw someone sneaking out of a side door and
across the lawn, so I followed him with my gun. He turned
to face me at one point, I'm not sure why. It was bad
timing I guess because at the same time I heard a bang. I
thought he had opened fire on us, so I shot him. I
watched him fall to the ground. With my shot being fired
the people inside the house responded. It took us nearly
thirty minutes to get a ceasefire. At that point I went to
your father's side. I tried to save him. He wasn't even
carrying a weapon. He didn't seem to be in any pain. He
was probably in shock. He asked me to tell his babies that
he loves them. Then he just kept saying over and over
'I'm sorry Lilly. I love you. Please forgive me for my bad
choices.' I held his hand as he died; he was gone before
the ambulance got there. We found out later that the
bang was one of the meth labs exploding inside. The
people who owned the house were trying to destroy
evidence and had caused it. So you see Joey, I made a
mistake. It was my fault. I tried to turn myself in to my
superiors right after it happened but they told me to wait
for the ballistics on the bullet. I knew it was mine. I'm
sorry, I wish I could take it all back." The minutes passed
like hours as he recounted his story. I had waited so long
to hear all of this. "Could…would you tell me about your
family? What was your father like? I tried to find out as
much as I could after it happened. The internal affairs
officers blocked my inquiries. I did find your parents
marriage license. That's where I learned your mother's
name. I never found a death certificate for your mother. I
didn't know she was gone." He question seemed genuine.

"My daddy was a good person. I mean he obviously made
some mistakes. He wasn't perfect, but he was a great
father and husband. We ran our own restaurant, which
was a blessing and a curse. See we were the only ones
working there at the time. My mom cooked, dad
managed, Bessie and I were the waitresses and busboys.
Business was really bad one year. We were all basically
healthy so to save some money my dad cancelled our
health insurance. With in a month my mom got sick. Once
the cancer was discovered my dad tried to get our
insurance back, but by then no one would cover us. The
hospital and treatment bills grew until she died. Because
we owned the restaurant and the land itself is pretty
valuable we couldn't get any help from anyone. My dad
tried to sell the restaurant but it was the off-season and
nobody was buying. So he ended up mortgaging the
business and our home to pay the hospital bills.
Eventually the mortgage payments on both got to be too
much for my dad. He turned to drug dealing to support
us. I don't expect you to understand, but he had to be
desperate. And in all honesty he had changed. Losing my
mom did something to him. He always said that she was
his anchor. She kept him grounded. I know my dad
though, and he didn't mean to hurt anyone. He was just
trying to provide for us." Mr. Witter nodded slowly in
response. Tears still fell from his eyes.

"You have suffered to much for someone so young. I'm
sorry I was a part of it. I won't ask your forgiveness, I
don't deserve it."

"Mr. Witter, there was a second reason that I came here.
I wanted you to know that I don't blame you, neither
does Bessie. As much as I love my dad, I know what he
did. I know he put himself in that position. And I feel like I
know you. Pacey had told me so much about you over
the last couple months. I know you're a good man. I know
you're a great cop. And I know that you were just doing
your job. I've had a year to work through this, to accept
what happened. You may have broke protocol, or
whatever, that day, but just listening to Pacey talk about
you, I knew before I got here that whatever happened
you didn't do it on purpose. See you don't need to ask my
forgiveness, because I…we don't blame you. I think it's
important that you know that."

The distance that separated us disappeared. He wrapped
is arms around me and there we sat crying together.

"I do have a favor to ask of you. Bessie, my sister, she
wants to talk to you too. She'll probably ask the same
questions." I reached in my pocket to pull out the slip of
paper I had prepared on the bus, with our address and
phone number. "She asked me to have you call her, or
you could just go by and see her someday. I guess I
should go explain to Pacey now."

"He doesn't have any idea?"

"He knows my mom and dad are dead, that's all. Part of
the reason I accepted the scholarship to Stratford
Academy was so I could escape that part of me. I was
escaping all the labels my small town had given to me
'orphan' 'drug dealers daughter'. I haven't told anyone at
school, I guess I'm afraid I would have to be that person
again. Mr. Witter, are you okay with me staying here this
weekend? I mean now knowing what you know about
me?"

"You're always welcome in my home Joey. I feel like I owe
you a debt I can never repay. I'm going to tell you
something about myself; it's something I normally don't
tell people. See my father was a criminal. He was a con
man. He got caught when I was fifteen, stealing
investment money from most of my friends parents. He
died shortly after, from a heart attack. I know what the
labels people give to you can do. I know what it's like to
lose a father, love him, yet still be ashamed of his
actions." I felt Mr. Witter gently stroking my hand, just
like my father used to do. "That's why I became a cop
Joey. It was to escape the label of the con-mans son. I
figured if I got a job upholding the law, everyone would
forget what my father had done. They did too. Time heals
most wounds Joey, it also helps bad memories fade." We
shared a smile between us as we both stood. "Come on
Joey. I'll show you to Pacey's room. I've never seen my
son so overprotective of someone else. That's saying a
lot you know, he has always taken care of those he
loves. He is probably starting to get really worried about
you."

Chapter 16 - eclipsing emotions- Pacey's P.O.V.

I can't believe how long they've been down there. What
is going on? I don't know how long I've been laying here.
I've picked up and tried to read a book about a hundred
times. Nothing can tear my thoughts away from Joey and
my dad. She looked so wrecked when I left her. Joey is
one of the strongest people I've ever met. Seeing her so
distraught has ripped me apart.

The door finally opened. Standing before me was Joey,
her eyes downcast. My dad stood behind her an arm
resting protectively around her shoulders. "Pacey may I
talk to for a moment." Nodding I got off my bed. Joey
slipped by me still avoiding eye contact. She sat gingerly
on my bed. I walked into the hall as my dad pulled the
door shut behind him.

"What's going on Pop?" He studied me for a minute before
preceding the concerned look never leaving his face.

"Son, Joey, she has some things she wants to tell you.
Now what she going to say, it's not easy for her. Try not
to judge okay. She is a special person, stronger than
most. That doesn't mean she's unbreakable though. With
everything she's already suffered I'm sure opening herself
up to people, is difficult for her. Pacey, you've never
really lost anyone you love. When it happens, it becomes
difficult to let new people into your life. There is always
that fear that you'll lose them too. Now Joey, she's
already lost enough love. Keep that in mind."

"Dad, she could never lose me. It doesn't matter what
she says. I would never turn my back on her. In fact
someday, when she does decide she's sick of me, she'll
still have a hell of a time shaking me." Nodding Dad put
his arms around me.

"When you're done talking to her, I'll be downstairs. You
might have some questions for me." With that he turned
and left me alone in the hall.

My bedroom door loomed before me almost daring me to
open it. Not sure what was waiting for me I rest my head
against it, waiting for a surge of courage. Pushing the
door open, it fell heavy in my hands, the weight of it
probably an exaggeration of my nerves. She sat just
where I had left her, her head resting in her hands as
silent sobs rocked her small frame. As I approached she
didn't look up at me but she knew I was there. The
rocking stopped and she held herself perfectly still as if
trying to disappear. Kneeling before her I reached up to
take her hands, uncovering the hidden face. Her eyes
remained closed for a moment as she took deep cleansing
breaths. Finally opening them she focused her red-rimmed
eyes on me. The eyes plead for understanding before the
words ever came.

"Hey Pace…" Her mouth slowly moved downward to a
frown and a single tear escaped.

"Joey…whatever it is you can tell me. It can't be so
bad." Nodding her acceptance she bit down lightly on her
bottom lip. She looked so childlike sitting there,
nervousness darkening her perfect features.

"I've told you that my parents died, right Pacey. The way
I explain it kind of implies that they died together, which
is in part true. If my mother had not died, my father
would probably still be alive. Their deaths are linked. They
did not however die together. My mom died of breast
cancer when I was twelve, almost thirteen. At the time I
didn't think my life could get any worse, it can always get
worse Pacey. See we weren't exactly rich to begin with,
but her medical and funeral expense left us with nothing.
My dad, he entered into this deep depression for a while,
he quit working. When he came out of it he couldn't go
back to our family business, he had built it with her. He
told me once that being there only reminded him of
everything he lost. So he found another way to make
money. He became a drug dealer Pace." Her statement
ended in a soft whisper, the last sentence barely audible.
Things started clicking in my head, focused mainly on
Joey's strange reaction when I told her about my father's
problems. Then there was my Dad's strange reaction to
her.

"When did your father die Joey?" Leaning closer I took her
face in my hands our noses practically touching.

"Last January."

"Where?" I already knew the answer. I was putting off
the question that really needed to be asked.

"Here…in Boston."

"How?"

"He was shot, during a drug bust." Nodding at her I finally
asked.

"By who?"

"Your dad." Her eyes suddenly confused me as they
seemed to be asking for my forgiveness. Shouldn't I be
asking for hers'?

"Joey, I'm sorry. I said such awful…hurtful things the
other day. I had no idea. I wish I could take them all
back." My eyes began to sting and I could feel the tears
filling them.

"Pacey, it's okay. I knew you didn't know what you were
saying. And it's not your dad's fault. If anything it's my
dad's. Your dad…he was just doing his job. My dad should
never have been there. I'm not upset. I…I'm ashamed. I
don't want to be the 'drug-dealers daughter.' I'm
ashamed of him, and I'm angry with myself for being
ashamed of him. I don't want to be ashamed of him. He
was a great father. I want to be proud of him. I want to
remember the kind loving man that he was. It breaks my
heart that he left this world that way. He left a stigma on
his life, his family. He deserved better than that, and at
the same time he brought it on us all. No matter how
desperate his situation, it comes down to the fact that
he chose wrong. He picked the wrong answer. He left me
all alone. And in the opinion of everyone back home he
left us alone and damaged. He's gone and I have to live
with his mistakes." Her head collapsed on my shoulder the
wetness of her tears quickly soaking through my shirt.

"Joey, you're not damaged. To me you're perfect. The
most amazing person I've ever met."

"You don't know what it's like Pacey. I love him so much,
but there is this huge part of me that wants to hate him.
It's hideous being ashamed of someone you love. I hate
what he did. But he's gone. I can't resolve my feelings. I
can't stop loving him…missing him, and I can't quit hating
him. It tears me up inside, all the time. I've never
admitted that to anyone before, not even Bessie." I slid
back further on my bed pulling her along with me. I didn't
know what to say to her. I don't know how to fix this.
Laying down she curled up in my arms, the sobs
returning.

"It's okay Jo, go ahead and cry." I ran my hand through
her hair until I found her back and began to rub small
circles I hoped would soothe her. She trembled as I held
her, my heart breaking over and over again. "Jo, is there
anything I can do? Do you need anything?" The question
felt simple enough. Her big eyes moved landed on mine
questioning my sincerity. "Do you want a drink, some
food, I can run down to the kitchen really quick."

"No stay here, I feel better with you here." Her arms
wrapped tightly around me. "Do you think less of me now,
now that you know?"

"No Jo, I think you're the bravest person I know." Her
eyes glowed at mine.

"I love you Pacey." She never broke eye contact. My
heart was pounding in my chest, as a warmth spread over
me. I loved hearing those words from her.

"Jo I…"

"Shhh…it's okay Pacey, I don't expect a response. I just
wanted you to know."

"But Jo…" I never got to finish my sentence. Her mouth
found mine. The words I wanted to say were lost. Her
kiss was different; they had always started of
soft…sweet. This kiss was intense. She seemed to be
taking all the emotions she was feeling and releasing them
into that kiss. Her mouth was demanding, the kiss had
caught me off guard. I responded without thinking, as if
kissing her this way was the most natural thing in the
world. An all to familiar heat started to rise in my body
and then pooled at my center. She pulled her body flush
to mine and I knew what she was doing to me must now
be evident to her. Her hand snaked slowly down my chest
undoing buttons as she went. When my shirt finally
opened to her she placed her hand at the top of my jeans
and tugged my wife beater out. Her rapid movements
stilled until her hand began sliding at the slowest speed
possible up my bare chest. Her hand finally found its mark
as she let it rest firmly over my heart. My heart was
racing, her touch made the speed so much more
noticeable to me. Her mouth let go of mine and she pulled
back. Her eyes began to search mine, questioning what
had just happened. What she had just done.

"Pacey, there is something you can do for me. Make me
feel loved. I want… I need to feel loved." Her face
reflected that of a broken child, her eyes imploring mine.

"Jo…Jo you are loved." Leaning forward I captured her
mouth in mine. This time the kiss was sweet, comforting.
It was soft and slow. Her hand remained firmly over my
heart, using her other hand she took a hold of my hand
and she brought it to rest on her own heart. I know the
idea was to make her feel loved, but in truth that's how it
made me feel. Her heart beating under my fingers and her
soft lips on mine, I had never felt more loved than I did at
that moment.

Chapter 17-Life…as I know it-Pacey's P.O.V.

Her sudden movement startled me out of sleep. When the
kiss had ended last night she had only smiled briefly at me
before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. She had
rolled sometime during the night so her back was now to
my chest. My arms remained securely around her, like my
heart they had become a fixed point. Sometime during
the night my Dad had come to check on us. I vaguely
remember him taking off her shoes followed by my own
before he disappeared into the hallway, only to return
moments later with a blanket to cover us with.

My dad, he seemed different. He wasn't your ideal father
growing up. He always worked strange hours and was
rarely around. I don't remember him ever saying I love
you to me. And he defiantly wasn't a hugs and kisses
type of guy. I usually got the firm handshake or pat on
the shoulder, not that those things are bad. My mom
always said that different people show love in different
ways. She explained that my dad's way of showing it was
by going to work each day. He never complained and he
always worked hard providing for our family. I used to feel
bad that my dad wasn't the dad that coached my teams
or even showed up for my games. It took me years to
figure out that the dad that does show up for the games
isn't the perfect dad either.

Rolling silently Joey turned in my arms to face me. She lay
still for a moment before her finger began to trace my
face. Peeking out from underneath my eyelids I saw her
face light up.

"Good morning beautiful" Her smile flashed at me.

"Potter, did you just call me beautiful?"

"Yeah, I liked it when you said it to me." She pouted out
her perfect lip at me. "You don't like it?"

"I don't know Potter that's not really very manly. How
about handsome, or gorgeous or God's gift to woman? I
think any of those would work." I tried to look as smug as
possible as she rolled her exquisite eyes at me. "Jo…" the
serious tone of my voice caused her to pause. "Do you
feel better this morning?"

Nodding she closed her eyes for a moment, letting her
long lashes rest on her cheek. She bit down on her lower
lip kneading the soft skin in her teeth. Without realizing it
I reached out and began to trace the outline of her lip
with my finger. Her eyes sprung back open wider than
before. I started to pull my hand away when she caught
it firmly in her own. Holding it in place her lips parted as
she kissed my finger. My next breath caught she slipped
my finger into her mouth and I felt her tongue tracing
light circles around the tip. A sly smile played on her lips
as she lifted heavily lid eyes up to meet mine. Leaning
forward all thought lost I found her lips awaiting me. My
arms tightened further around her and I felt what space
there was between us disappear. Her arms wove around
my neck as her fingers began to work there way through
my hair. Pulling back from her mouth I began to leave a
trail of soft kisses down her slender neck.

"Pacey! You're home and you didn't even call us? Oh…
sorry." My door had been thrown open revealing my best
friend Will and shut just as quickly. Joey began giggling
softly beside me.

"Who's that?" Joey whispered.

"That's Will, I've told you about him right?" Nodding she
winked at me.

"So do you think I made a good first impression on your
friend?" Swallowing back my own laughter I nodded in
response.

"Where's Pacey?" I heard Audrey's unmistakable voice
from outside.

"Who's that?" Joey asked sitting up at the distinctly
feminine voice.

"Uh… I was just waiting for you." Will practically shouted
in response. "Do you want to knock or should I?"

"The dreaded ex." I whispered.

"Your ex-girlfriend is here?" Joey began to move quickly
searching for her shoes.

"Since when do we knock on Pacey's door?"

Grabbing Joey's hands I stilled her movement. "God no, I
would never date Audrey. She's Will's ex. I think they
dated for like two months or something. Afterwards she
just kind of stuck around." Suddenly a wicked glint
entered his eye. "Come here Jo." Grabbing me he pulled
me back under the covers. "Pretend to be asleep okay."
Looking at me suspiciously she closed her eyes as I pulled
her close to me. Damn, it feels good to hold her.

"Well we haven't seen him since Christmas, a lot can
change in two months. Who knows what we'll find behind
that door." I heard Audrey's audible grunt as the
doorknob began to turn again.

"Pacey never changes!! I mean …" Silence rang out as
Audrey finally turned to look at us. I could feel their eyes
examining us. I knew without looking that Will was
fighting the smile that was trying to break free. "Who is
that?" Audrey hissed at him.

"I don't know, never seen her before." Well that was
almost technically true.

"What happened to that guy Jo, he was supposed to be
bringing home with him? I was hoping he would be hot."

"Well if the he turns out to be a she, I would say she is.
Jo could be a girls name." I could feel Joey's smile form at
Will's compliment. I could also hear the smack he had
earned for himself from Audrey. She, at times convenient
to her, seemed to forget she wasn't Will's girlfriend. Inside
I started to dread the upcoming encounter between her
and Joey. Audrey was notorious for hating the girls Will or
I dated. And when Audrey hated you, everyone knew it.
Opening my eyes finally I watched as my two friends
faced off, neither one willing to break away from the look
of death the other was giving them. "You didn't have to
hit me." Will finally spoke up.

"Maybe I should've hit you for checking out my girlfriend
right in front of me." Both jumped in response to my
voice.

"Pacey!" Audrey squealed as she started to move towards
me, stopping when she got to the edge of the bed to
throw an appalled look at Joey. "Since when do you have
a girlfriend?" The last word sounded oddly vulgar as it left
her mouth.

"Since Valentines Day. Right Sweetie?" Joey answered for
me as she pulled me into a kiss. "Good morning
handsome." She winked at me deciding to play along.

"Hey beautiful, how did you sleep?" I began to copy her
movements from earlier, tracing her face with my finger.
Her eyes fluttered pulling my heart along with them.

"Perfect, with you next to me." She practically purred at
me.

"Hello, friends you haven't seen in months. Are you at
least going to acknowledge us?" Audrey's rapid hand
movements managed to distract me momentarily from
Joey's eyes.

"Hey Audrey…Will, good to see you. This is the beautiful
and witty Joey Potter, the most amazing person I've ever
met. Jo, these are my friends."

"She gets beautiful, witty, and amazing and we get
'friends'? How long have you known her like two seconds?
This is wicked crazy!"

"I've known her for three months. It's fair to say I know
her very well, if helps that we started sleeping together
the second day." Joey started laughing openly at this
statement.

"What! You were still a virgin at Christmas!" Audrey yelled
for my whole house to hear.

"You were a virgin?" Joey's question sounded sincere, as
she seemed to realize that Tamara was my first.

"Yes." I answered quietly feeling ashamed of what
happened with Tamara, it should've been Joey. I wish it
had been Joey.

"You couldn't tell he was a virgin? You must not have any
experience either?" Audrey's sarcastic comment cut
through our moment.

"I don't know, for it being his first time sleeping with
someone, I would have to say… he was amazing. Never
had anyone better, and trust me I've had plenty of
experience sleeping with guys." Audrey gazed wide-eyed
at Joey, not sure what to think of her.

"You don't seem the type to me."

"Oh trust me once you get passed this prim exterior…I'm
well less prim. So, Will are you a mute?" We all turned to
look at my silent friend who seemed to be enjoying the
show.

"Uh no…actually I'm not. I dated that blond long enough
to learn when she's talking no one else is. It's nice to
meet you Joey."

"It's nice to meet you two Will. Pacey talks about you all
the time."

"What about me?"

"Actually Audrey, he's never mentioned you. Sorry."

"You know that shirt you're wearing is really not your
color." Audrey spat out at Joey.

"You know that hair color you're wearing is really not
yours. What number is it anyway?" Audrey quick
movements startled me, as she appeared to lunge at
Joey. As Audrey landed on the bed next to us she
wrapped Joey up in a hug.

"Pacey, I love this girl. Where did you find her?"

"Uh…school."

"Come on Bunny, I help you get ready. Will and I planned
a true Boston day on our way over. Of course at the time
I was hoping you were a hot guy, but you'll do. I need
more estrogen support in this group. Now I know Pacey
can be a charmer, but trust me he needs a lot of work.
During Christmas he was lusting after this seriously
skanky old lady. I'll tell you all about it while we get
ready. Bye boys." Joey grabbed her bag and threw me a
weary look as Audrey dragged her out of my room.